Were we rude & unreasonable?

[Ownerofalittlechimp]

Eh birthday on Friday & originally planned to have mil & cm for tea & cake (just takeaway as v young dc's). Dh got stuck in work so rearranged for Sunday lunch. All good, nice roast, birthday cake etc. After I've cleared up ds1 comes through says granny a & granny b want wine mummy. We don't have any so I say so & offer more coffee, soft drinks etc (had offered before & during meal too). Big sighs from both then muttering together that they wanted wine, thought we'd have had it & they'll make do with coffee if that's the only thing available. Mil continues to mutter that she was looking forward to a few glasses as she's got a busy week & so suddenly has to leave to finish some jobs. Both gone within 5 minutes then later found to be slating us (me) on family whatsapp for being mean & rude. Guessing they thought they were messaging each other.

For context we very rarely have wine or any drinks in & dh just wanted a nicelunch with family. Not anti alcohol or anything & if we had anything it would be offered. Dh has responded to msgs saying they've been rude but apparently we're awful hosts & should always have a decent drinks selection to offer, what if they'd wanted g&t's etc

What do you all think?

what CF's! I wouldn't be speaking to my mum until she apologised! Same for MIL

They are very rude and wouldn't be getting invited back for any meals at my house!

Wow!
What happened to their manners?
If invited to dinner at someone's house, surely it is up to the guest to turn up with a bottle of wine?

They both sound alcohol dependent to me.

If I was even half expecting that wine would be served at any lunch I was invited to, and I'd take a bottle with me. Quite apart from their behaviour during the meal, they were rude to turn up empty handed

They know we don't drink much or often have stuff in, it's fairly normal for a Sunday lunch here as we have our dc & dh in work at 4am today & not a significant birthday (dh words). Fine if they brought their own.

I wouldn’t be able to resist saying something. Agree with pp that guests ought to bring booze to a meal. You provide the food, they bring drinks. It’s pretty standard amongst my set.

The parents are ill mannered and entitled. Nothing further to add that isnt rude. Some people!

If you want wine your meant to bring the wine with you

Surely if wine was going to be involved, it would have been with the lunch, not after ? Very odd behaviour on their part .

Haven't they noticed you can read what they're saying?

sorry what? if u know a household doesnt usually have wine bring some its rude not to bring something t lunch anyway

then storming off home?

They both sound alcohol dependent to me.

^ that’s exactly what I was thinking!
My family always go to each other’s for birthday lunch and none of us would consider cracking open a bottle of alcohol at lunchtime.

I wouldn’t dream of inviting people to lunch or dinner and not offering fizz, red or white (or a G&T I’d preferred). Soft drinks would also be available but I wouldn’t conceive of not had a few decent bottles to go with the food.

Similarly, I wouldn’t dream of arriving at a friends for lunch / dinner and not taking wine with me. I’m my group, it’s commonplace to take a bottle of fizz and then a second of red or white.

That said, whilst I would be surprised to arrive and have no similar choice offered, I would hide it with good grace (I hope!).

I think it's a bit weird there's no wine with Sunday lunch (though I don't drink personally) but they also should have brought some along as a gift for the hosts.

You don't take wine to be drunk at the meal. You take wine as a gift for the host. It is the height of bad manners to expect any wine that you have taken to be opened- it wouldn't be at the correct temperature of matched to the food.

If the hist does not provide wine then you just accept it.

Amazing how many many of us must be alcohol dependant wanting a glass of wine at Sunday lunch!

No excuse for the rudeness at all though. I assume no apology has arrived yet?

So why didn't she bring the fizz with her? It doesn't make sense.

So why didn't she bring the fizz with her? It doesn't make sense.

because guests don't bring wine to be drunk, they bring wine as a gift for the host, if the host doesn't drink then you would bring a different gift.

How immature and petty!

You're definitely not in the wrong.

To get that het up about it you're either bitchy by nature or have an alcohol problem.

Or both.

The host has what the host has. If you've already got free food then STFU and be thankful. Assholes.

Wow to get so angry and upset over not getting any alcohol? Least you don't have a problem OP. Ignore them, they have issues.

That’s so rude of them! Your own mum is joining in is she? Jeez, you think she’d know her own daughter well enough to know she doesn’t really drink alcohol...? Weird all round tbh.

If I had family coming for Sunday lunch, Birthday or not, there would be fizzy and red or white wine with the meal. I would find it odd if I went to someones house and they did not offer wine. I don't think it has ever happened. Though I would take a bottle with me too.

They were rude, but also strange to host without offering a section of drinks available.