Were we rude & unreasonable?

[Ownerofalittlechimp]

Eh birthday on Friday & originally planned to have mil & cm for tea & cake (just takeaway as v young dc's). Dh got stuck in work so rearranged for Sunday lunch. All good, nice roast, birthday cake etc. After I've cleared up ds1 comes through says granny a & granny b want wine mummy. We don't have any so I say so & offer more coffee, soft drinks etc (had offered before & during meal too). Big sighs from both then muttering together that they wanted wine, thought we'd have had it & they'll make do with coffee if that's the only thing available. Mil continues to mutter that she was looking forward to a few glasses as she's got a busy week & so suddenly has to leave to finish some jobs. Both gone within 5 minutes then later found to be slating us (me) on family whatsapp for being mean & rude. Guessing they thought they were messaging each other.

For context we very rarely have wine or any drinks in & dh just wanted a nicelunch with family. Not anti alcohol or anything & if we had anything it would be offered. Dh has responded to msgs saying they've been rude but apparently we're awful hosts & should always have a decent drinks selection to offer, what if they'd wanted g&t's etc

What do you all think?

I can't believe everyone "shocked" at people have wine with Sunday lunch. Have you honestly never been to a restaurant? I worked at a nice one when I was a student and for Sundays almost everyone had wine. What about Christmas lunch?

Exactly huggy. Reckon even your average Georgian/Victorian had wine with Sunday lunch - the new puritanism?!

I’m more shocked at people having Sunday lunch at midday. That’s whats got me clutching my pearls.

I can't believe everyone "shocked" at people have wine with Sunday lunch. Have you honestly never been to a restaurant?

I've been to lots of restaurants. I hate wine.

I also see a lot of people drinking soft drinks when eating out - especially the drivers.

At home I don't see the point of having alcohol 'just because'...and I'm rarely (if ever) thirsty enough to need to drink whilst eating - I'd rather have a cuppa after.

Were your PILs driving home? It's not the best idea for the driver to get stuck into the Bordeaux...

If they wanted wine that much they should have brought their own. They were v v rude!

Wine is really expensive! It makes me sad that someone would think hosts rude if they'd fed them a lovely meal and not provided wine. Maybe even the food was a financial stretch.

They are rude. And if they really wanted wine they should have bought it with them!
I am aghast at people NOT having wine with Sunday lunch tho? Is it not what Sunday’s are for? Also I come from the kind of family where if I’m running low on prosecco I am allowed to go raid my parents supplies in their garage 🤣 so my alcohol radar is probably a bit skewed!

I'm bemused by the fact that each of these women is the mother of one of you,have presumably visited you often, but have no clue about your usual habits in provision of drinks! And then to be so rude about you - they're cheeky mares. Perhaps time to reconsider any hosting in future...the bonus being that as it's both of them there should be no problem presenting a united front with your DH.

I’m very much enjoying the pearl clutchers and their ‘Good gracious -winewith Sunday lunch?!’ hyperbole. It’s not as if they were pouring vodka on their cornflakes of a morning!
Of course not. It's more comparable to having a whole bottle of apple sourz in place of fruit juice on a morning.

They should have brought wine with them if they wanted to drink and knew that you wouldn't have any in stock - they are family, so should know your tastes. I wouldn't enjoy Sunday lunch with family, a highlight of the week, without a glass of wine, but each to their own.

They’re both being bloody rude! They should have brought a bottle if they were decent guests.

"I can't believe everyone "shocked" at people have wine with Sunday lunch. Have you honestly never been to a restaurant?"

I'm a bit bemused at the pearl clutchers on this thread as well.

I am careful to drink sensibly, and very rarely drink at lunchtime - Christmas Day, and the odd Sunday being the exception. However, when we have guests round for a meal we always open a bottle of wine. We also offer soft drinks as someone invariably has to drive.

That said, if neither of us drank wine we wouldn't have any in the house, and any guests who came expecting wine would be considered a little entitled. We hate whiskey, so we never have it in the house, so I can understand where the OP is coming from.

I can't understand why the mothers didn't bring their own wine though.

There was no need for them to be rude but yes I would expect wine/beer to be offered if I was over for an evening meal or Sunday lunch. Or even afternoon tea! It’s easy to keep in because alcohol lasts a good while. If you don’t end up using it, you can give it as a gift when visiting friends/family.

I cannot envisage not having wine in the house

They are very rude. We have no wine or spirits in the house, and only a couple of cans of beer. I don't get why alcohol would be so important anyway tbh.

Some people on this thread are rather sanctimonious about alcohol.

Enjoying a glass of wine or two with Sunday dinner is nothing like the amount of alcohol DD's boyfriend consumes, which IMO is rather concerning (he is a student and drinks heavily most nights with the express purpose of getting very drunk).

What utter nonsense we have been drinking wine for hundreds of years. Mr elton gets really pissed in one of Jane Austens novels

I don’t drink tea (horrible stuff) and I live on my own. Would people think it was fine for me not to have tea bags and milk available. Serious question because it would be really helpful if I didn’t have to keep buying milk...

Wine with Sunday lunch is totally normal

Nobody would expect a vegetarian to serve meat, so why expect a non drinker to serve wine?

Most vegetarians (including me) have a moral objection to meat as food and would find it very difficult to prepare. The OP has made no suggestion that she has an issue with serving alcohol; just that she doesn’t drink much herself (note the ‘much’).

I don’t cook meat because I morally object to it and would feel physically sick doing so. I don’t like whisky, but I would happily pour one for a party guest if that’s what they liked. Surely you can see the difference?