Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is friend a cf

999 replies

Penelopeee · 08/10/2018 19:23

Evening.

I regularly help out other school mums. Have become known as the mum to ask for a favour I suppose. Never really given it too much thought, firm believer that if you can help someone else out in life you should.

For the last 18 months I have looked after my friends daughter who is in my daughters class at school. They are year 3 (7 turning 8). I also have a smaller person who is at home with me all day.

So friends DH drops their DD at mine just before 7am. Usually twice, sometimes 3 times a week as they both work shifts. School starts at 8.50am. School finishes at 3.30 and DD is collected by dad by 5.30pm.

Our daughters are classmates and get along, they do however have their fair share of winding each other up and bitching to each other which all of us parents tend to ignore and stay out of.

Friends DD is turning 8 this weekend and friends have booked her and 5 friends into like an activity centre place. The girl took great delight in telling my DD where parents had booked, who was invited and clarifying that my DD wasn’t invited.

We look after this girl so much. I know the old can’t be invited to everything but my DD makes no fuss about this girl being here, shares all her toys, use of her tablets etc we feed her when she’s here. Shares her mummy’s time etc.

DD is upset. She’s upset she wasn’t invited. She upset that ‘friend’ will continue to get to come to her house so much when in her words “we aren’t good friends obviously”.

AIBU to think that my friend should of maybe done the whole we will be in Inviting XXXX as they do a lot for us???

To be honest I feel really fucking used!! So as not to drip feed, they don’t pay me and have never offered. They’ve never looked after mine. Nor have they offered.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 09/10/2018 09:48

Wow, she could have at least said thanks. Seems she's she's not just a cheeky fucker but unpleasant with it.

Now you know where her kid gets it from.

PuppyMonkey · 09/10/2018 09:49

If CF is on MN, she’ll probably start a thread in a minute about how a close friend has let her down st the last minute and she has no other support and she’ll have to give up work now and etc etc. People like this never believe they are a CF. Well done OP.

Bobbybear10 · 09/10/2018 09:50

Noooooo she cannot be a MN’er having read this thread and not apologised for being an amazingly entitled cheeky fucker!

How very disappointing she wouldn’t have reassessed her behaviour and thought about how to become a better person. (Or certainly less entitled!)

Let’s hope you might have mutual friends on here as well.

PutABobbleIn · 09/10/2018 09:51

Good on you op - she was a CF of the highest order

mummyhaschangedhername · 09/10/2018 09:51

Wow. What a horrible ungrateful woman. Who does that? You were right to end this OP. Well done. Hope you daughter has a lovely weekend. X

KMoKMo · 09/10/2018 09:52

I’m hoping there’s been no thank you thus far because CF has seen this thread, is thoroughly ashamed with herself and is ordering a huge hamper and bouquet for you and yearly cinema passes for your daughter. CF it really is the LEAST you should do.
Props to you OP for doing it face to face. I’d have been too chicken. I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy the time with your children now you’ve got rid of shitty kid.

Dollymixture22 · 09/10/2018 09:55

I can’t beleive this behaviour! Has she ever got a present to thank you for saving her thousands of pounds and taking such good care of your daughter?

Kmokmo is right, a very expensive thank you gift is in order. Vouchers for a spa break would even come close to covering how generous you have been.

KC225 · 09/10/2018 09:55

Well done OP. You must feel very relieved. How funny to think she's a mumsnetter and was forearmed - could be. If that is true she can hardly argue with nearly 20 pages of CF accusations. She could also be in shock - be prepared for some after waves, once she's had time to process it. But 'fine' after all you've done for them, shows his little they respect you and your family. This woman is not your friend.

Out of interest, a poster up thread asked what happened on school holidays? Did you get up for their DD to be dropped off?

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 09/10/2018 09:56

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Well done OP 😁

EK36 · 09/10/2018 09:56

Well done OP.... FREEDOM!

ToesInWater · 09/10/2018 09:57

So she knew that she was being a CF! Glad you managed to extract yourself from the situation - it sounds like a great result for your DD. Do something fab with her on "party day"

trulybadlydeeply · 09/10/2018 09:58

Well done OP Grin

If you're here, CF, I hope this has made you realise how much the OP has done for you, and how much of themselves she and her DD have given just to help you out. Take this and learn from it, and if you have any decency you will be dropping round a big bunch of flowers, bottle of wine etc to the OP. Not that it will make it any better, but at least it shows you recognise how you have abused her good nature.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 09/10/2018 09:59

Well done OP - can I say that I actually feel sorry for the daughter of CF in this case? She is being given a shitty example of how to treat people by one of the people who should be giving her a good example of how to treat people. Poor kid. She'll grow up thinking this is how you treat people.

Anyway, enjoy all your freedom now OP. You've definitely earned it!

notapizzaeater · 09/10/2018 10:00

If she is on here she should be ashamed, not one person on here has said anything other than she's a CF .....

MrsGB2225 · 09/10/2018 10:00

Well done! Hopefully your CF friend realised what a bitch she is.

TheDHand · 09/10/2018 10:01

I am delurking specifically to say how glad I am that for once a CF got her comeuppance.

Whether or not CF is on MN, she’s probably known that this was coming since CFDD refused to invite DD to the party. I am sure CF knew that there would be no more free childminding if CFDD didn’t invite DD and tried to make her do it.

But if you are a CF then your DC will learn your wicked ways - I imagine CFDD said, no way. And also thought: I am going to rub it in as well. CF has reaped what she sowed!

BitOutOfPractice · 09/10/2018 10:02

I don't think this'll be the last of it from her unfortunately. But very well done op

Bearbehind · 09/10/2018 10:03

can I say that I actually feel sorry for the daughter of CF in this case?

I feel sorry for her too because I can't help thinking the repercussions of her being mean to another girl have been huge.

Kids can be mean at that age but this will cost her parents a fortune.

Totally agree that OP should stop the free childcare but I suspect CF is going to be livid about the fact her daughters actions were the catalyst for it.

slightlysnippy · 09/10/2018 10:03

......

OKhitmewithit · 09/10/2018 10:06

I suspect CF is going to be livid about the fact her daughters actions were the catalyst for it

Er the child is 7 or 8. She should have been told what to do by her mother. The child is not to blame, the CF is.

Penelopeee · 09/10/2018 10:06

So school holidays she requests double shifts at the weekends (when the DH is off) so that gets most of her hours done.
For any remaining hours her sister has the kid. But because it’s perhaps once a fortnight in the holidays I think her sister enjoys having niece for that.

CF feels it’s ok to do all weekend in the holidays as says she gets to see DD all week. She won’t do the same when DD is at school as wont see her at all.

Which I’m not slating her for. And I do understand the thinking behind it. But working families have these dilemmas most of their lives. She chooses to work and she chose to leave a ‘naice hours’ job to pursue her dream. Nothing wrong with that but you can’t have it all Confused

OP posts:
lola006 · 09/10/2018 10:07

Well done, OP!!

If CFmum sees this - do yourself a favour and buy OP a massive gift for your EIGHTEEN MONTHS of free childcare. Flowers, wine, cinema vouchers. She deserves it.

LavenderBush · 09/10/2018 10:07

Hello Cheeky Fucker "friend"!!

Hope you realise that if you have seen this thread on Mumsnet, then it's pretty much bound to have been spotted by several other people you know in real life... and they will have recognised the situation and be talking about it to others.

Enjoy being found out xxx

Fewminmostly · 09/10/2018 10:09

Well what an anti-climax! Winkno I'm glad you didn't have to have a confrontation. What I would say is that you shouldn't beat yourself up for letting this go on so long because, at the time, you were doing what you felt was a good thing to do for a friend. And you ended it when you realised she was a CF. The cheeky fuckery is all on her. She should feel mortified for being such a puke of a woman. But she won't as she's clearly a sociopath. Oh dear, CF, just wait until that first months child care bill comes in Grin

Womaningreen · 09/10/2018 10:10

OP she's probably used to this

I doubt she saw it

I think she's just so accustomed to taking the piss that she knew this was coming and of course the party thing would have made it clear too.

anyway - yay for no more unpaid work for you!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread