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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be angry with school

251 replies

Firsttimenamechange1 · 07/10/2018 20:19

Name changed just in case. Posting here for traffic.

A bit of background. After a few years of emotional and verbal abuse along with infidelity on his part, I split with my ex 6 years ago and we have a DD6. He used to sit outside my house everyday when we first split. (He has DD for 3 hours every Monday and Tuesday and EOW since the break up. )

I contacted the police on several occasions and logged the fact he sat outside the house along with harassment via text messages every week. I have moved address and not told him where I am (I do drop offs and pick ups to his to avoid him knowing where I live) and also taken out a new phone contract so I message him on my old phone due to the anxiety I feel when I receive a text from him.
He hasn’t paid child maintenance in 6 years and I finally plucked up the courage to contact CMS a couple months ago. He has missed the first 2 payments.

I told the school numourous times that I do not want him knowing my address and new phone number due to the past and I also made them aware the police have been involved and they have acknowledged this.

Today I received a text from him saying that he doesn’t want to go through CMS and the school has given him my new number and address so he will be contacting me on my new number. He then text me on it to prove this. I told him that is my work number and he is to not contact me on that.

I am now scared that they have also given him my address. I will be going down to the school office tomorrow morning and if they have given my details to him what can I do? I thought that with GDPR they can’t do this, along with the fact I have specifically told them I don’t want him knowing my details. Any advice would be appreciated x

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 07/10/2018 22:19

Firsttimenamechange1

I may have missed it but if you are still concerned about the school letting this information through, the number on the system doesn't have to be yours.

ChasedByBees · 07/10/2018 22:28

Considering they left the address on the report card when they should have already known not to, I’d be concerned your ex is telling the truth.

Loopy3585 · 07/10/2018 23:51

Check with the school and CMS and if one of them has given out the information then legally they have to inform you of the data breach (they can’t just pretend they haven’t and they have to have a legal justification for not informing you if they choose not to - hope that makes sense). as someone else has previously said if they have given out your information without permission then you have a right to report this to the ICO for them to investigate with the school and under the new GDPR fines can be up to a maximum of €20million . You have to have given your consent for your personal information to be disclosed to a third party, any information he got from the school should have had your details redacted.

ilikefastcars · 08/10/2018 08:24

Omg! Totally unacceptable!!!!
Huge red flags here!

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 08/10/2018 09:58

Morning all,

Just an update.

I spoke with the head teacher this morning and she told me she would investigate it. I then had a phone call from them just now telling me it was them that gave the details out. My phone number, my address, everything.

She said there was nothing on the notes on the system despite me calling up numerous times before.

I am so angry and upset. I have asked for this in writing so I can take it further.

Thank you all again for your support, I really appreciate it.

OP posts:
Starlight345 · 08/10/2018 10:03

OMG that is disgusting. I would absolutely be taking it further .

I for the life of me can’t understand why they would give that information to another parent.

Kolo · 08/10/2018 10:06

Bloody hell! Schools are usually so good at this, even before all the GDPR panic.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 08/10/2018 10:09

They are getting the CEO of the school to call me back today to discuss further. I told them I want it all in writing.

The receptionist apologised profusely and said she has added the note in bold now to which I replied that it’s a bit too late for that!!

I’m going to wait to have everything in writing and then make a complaint.

OP posts:
Loopy3585 · 08/10/2018 10:20

Despite them not having put the note on they should not have given out your personal information without your consent. Have they given you a reason for why they gave the information out? Did he request it or was it sent out in an information pack etc? Ask if they have a data protection officer and are they going to self report themselves to the ICO?

Wheresthel1ght · 08/10/2018 10:27

Op I doubt they will put it in writing or they are admitting fault.

Gdpr means they should not have given it out regardless of notes on their system!

I would put your complaint in writing today and do not let it drop

Zoflorabore · 08/10/2018 10:28

So sorry this has happened op.
Good idea to ask for it in writing. The school will be in deep shit and rightly so.

Speak to the governors too and the LEA.
The implications of their actions are huge and a massive safeguarding issue.

Very best of luck Flowers

Littlebluebird123 · 08/10/2018 10:28

I'm so sorry that this has happened!
I actually cannot believe they gave out that information anyway. I work in school and all the addresses etc are password protected, hard copies locked up. There's no way anyone would be given an address or phone number. Like a pp said, they are happy to pass on messages but would never give out details, not even if there was no note on the system!

I believe a pp has provided the link for ICO who regulate and make sure GDPR rules are being followed. You definitely need to make a complaint as this is a very serious breech.

As for him knowing where you live, I would speak to the police and make them aware. Then if he does turn up (and hopefully he won't ) it is already logged and will be taken seriously straight away.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and hope you have good support in rl.

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 08/10/2018 10:28

Once you've made you complaint, also inform your MP and if you want, the local press.

They've been told over and over but still didn't think it was important enough to listen so they should be dragged through hot coals for this.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 08/10/2018 10:33

As far as am I aware with what they have told me on the phone (just had deputy head on the phone) was that it was requested to be put in DD’s book bag. Ex picks her up every other Friday when on his weekend with her which the school know about.

The receptionist told me that she made the teacher aware that it’s a split family so make sure it’s either me or my father picking her up (I work so if I run over time being out and about then my dad picks her up for me) so I said that it’s contradicting what she said before saying no notes on the system? She then went quiet and apologised again.

I just said that I want it all in writing because it seems like one person is saying one thing whilst another is saying something completely different. I understand there are hundreds of students to watch out for and I’m not the only one in this situation but this isn’t the first time I have made them aware of my circumstances Sad

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 08/10/2018 10:34

Bloody hell op. So sorry this has happened Flowers

Don’t have any useful advice but see lots of people have posted stuff. Definitely don’t let this drop. This is so major I can’t believe they’ve been so fucking stupid. Take care

DGRossetti · 08/10/2018 10:44

if they have given out your information without permission then you have a right to report this to the ICO for them to investigate with the school and under the new GDPR fines can be up to a maximum of €20million

So that's the amount of any fine less to spend on the schoolkids Hmm ?

grannyloulou · 08/10/2018 10:48

The impact of this is huge both emotionally, financially as you're going to have to move again and if in rented breaking a contract early will cost and that's not even taking into account your short term safety

I'm sorry to hear the school let you down so badlyAngry

BlankTimes · 08/10/2018 10:50

I told the school numourous times that I do not want him knowing my address and new phone number due to the past and I also made them aware the police have been involved and they have acknowledged this

Have you got proof of that? Like have they noted something on your file after you made them aware?
If you have, then they are at fault.
This is why it's so important to put this type of instruction in writing to schools etc. then they can't say you never told them how serious it is etc.

Vagndidit · 08/10/2018 10:52

Wow, Op!! I am gobsmacked that the school has allowed this to happen. DS has been in his primary school for 7 years and I still don't know the full names of his classmates. We've never been allowed to request class lists of names, let alone address and phone number. And this policy was long before any GDPR madness.

I'm trying to imagine the conversation that must have gone on between your ex and the school receptionist that brought about such information. "UM, hi, can you slip a copy of DD's home address and phone number in her bag please?" Wtaf!?? That wouldn't raise any eyebrows?!

Finallymorethananumber · 08/10/2018 10:54

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I work in a school and GDPR has been a huge part of our training.

You need to put in a SAR yourself for everything they have on you - all emails, notes and such. Do it asap and report them to the ICO.

Stompythedinosaur · 08/10/2018 10:57

But even without a note about your situation the school should not be giving out one parent's contact details to another, surely?

I would be very angry op, that is outrageous.

FarrahMoan · 08/10/2018 11:00

Tbh I'm not that shocked. At the primary school my DS1 has recently left his head once phoned to let my DH know that DS1 was in trouble for use of sexual language, isolating someone in the toilets etc. When I rocked up at school to question him further it turns out it wasn't my DS at all but another child with the same first name. The office had given him the wrong details

JacquesHammer · 08/10/2018 11:12

The school have majorly messed up.

Even without a note on the system they shouldn't be giving information to anybody.

The fact that they have ignored repeated contact from you regarding the seriousness of the situation is just an added error on their part.

You're doing absolutely the right thing taking this further.

chocorabbit · 08/10/2018 11:16

Loopy is right. Even without any laws to follow why would they give your personal details to anybody over the phone or in person? I thought that all parents could do would be to request an address change form and that's it.

Haven't the school staff been trained? What's the purpose of training days? Don't they know how to use the software properly? This is not the same issue but I remember an airport check-in assistant who couldn't use the system and asked her colleague to find our bookings and take our luggage. The colleague was clearly fed up but had to do it for all our family while the first assistant was playing with her hair on her finger. Some people never learn.

Malbecfan · 08/10/2018 11:21

As well as the GDPR implications, in this case, there is a safeguarding one. I think it is worth contacting your LADO (local authority designated officer) and getting some advice from them. Then you have put the school's f*ck up on the LADO's radar.

I have only contacted the safeguarding team once, and thankfully it was for some advice on how to keep a child safe in a youth organisation, not a school, once her abusive parent had been released from prison. The staff were brilliant and passed on some helpful do this, don't do that comments. Good luck OP