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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with school

251 replies

Firsttimenamechange1 · 07/10/2018 20:19

Name changed just in case. Posting here for traffic.

A bit of background. After a few years of emotional and verbal abuse along with infidelity on his part, I split with my ex 6 years ago and we have a DD6. He used to sit outside my house everyday when we first split. (He has DD for 3 hours every Monday and Tuesday and EOW since the break up. )

I contacted the police on several occasions and logged the fact he sat outside the house along with harassment via text messages every week. I have moved address and not told him where I am (I do drop offs and pick ups to his to avoid him knowing where I live) and also taken out a new phone contract so I message him on my old phone due to the anxiety I feel when I receive a text from him.
He hasn’t paid child maintenance in 6 years and I finally plucked up the courage to contact CMS a couple months ago. He has missed the first 2 payments.

I told the school numourous times that I do not want him knowing my address and new phone number due to the past and I also made them aware the police have been involved and they have acknowledged this.

Today I received a text from him saying that he doesn’t want to go through CMS and the school has given him my new number and address so he will be contacting me on my new number. He then text me on it to prove this. I told him that is my work number and he is to not contact me on that.

I am now scared that they have also given him my address. I will be going down to the school office tomorrow morning and if they have given my details to him what can I do? I thought that with GDPR they can’t do this, along with the fact I have specifically told them I don’t want him knowing my details. Any advice would be appreciated x

OP posts:
Purplepinkpurple · 11/10/2018 00:03

I cant believe the school as been so careless . I hope you got your email op. I bet the school have been busy trying to cover up their huge mistake.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 11/10/2018 07:10

Went down there yesterday and was told the woman dealing with it was at one of the other schools. I asked for her direct email and was told they don’t give that out Hmm I had to bite my tongue at that point as they were careless enough to give my info out. Told them it’s not on and on top of it all they are ignoring me now.

I think they are getting as much advice as possible before they respond but an acknowledgment isn’t that difficult.

I also followed up with an email yesterday to which they said they have forwarded on to her. I also said I will contact every day until I get a response.

What do you all think? Can I start my complaint without the email or hang on for it? I know it’s obviously best to get it all in writing but I’m wondering if I could at least get the ball rolling? I’m just getting angrier by the day.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 11/10/2018 07:32

The working in another school thing might be because if they are part of a MAT (academy chain) then they might have one centralised data protection officer for the MAT. It's entirely likely that that person is based at another school in the trust so that in itself isn't a red flag.

The fact they are dragging their heels on other things is.

Gazelda · 11/10/2018 07:57

The school became aware of the data breach on Monday. GDPR regulations state that they must self report without delay, and certainly within 72 hours of becoming aware. So I'd say that they've had plenty of time to address this.
Maybe make contact with the school Governors today, and give the timeline of your contact with the school. State that you will be starting a formal complaint to the ICO but want to give the school chance to respond to you before you submit your complaint. You will be submitting the complaint on Monday, 1 week after alerting the school to the breach.
To be honest, I'm wondering whether they are more concerned about getting their ducks in a row in readiness for the ICO investigation, and feel that as more of a priority than updating you because whatever they say will be 'too little, too late'.

peakydante · 11/10/2018 08:02

Gosh this is awful OP. Perhaps if you have to move again you can cut ties with this arsehole permanently? I wouldn't want my DD influenced by this abusive misogynist...

RandomMess · 11/10/2018 08:34

Have you used ICO live chat service to tell them the school refuse to communicate with you and check the school have declared the breach to them?

mamas12 · 11/10/2018 08:35

This is shocking behaviour fro. The school
You have waited enough so please inform the gove ors and the lea in fact everyone
The school should feel the full force and repercussions of their negligence which imthinkmshouldminclude your costs
You already have the costs of a new phone and talking a bout moving
The school should,be re it bursting you those costs as it's their fault you will have to do these tho go
Do you have a solicitor?
I hope that your ex never turns up
Good luck

treezylover · 11/10/2018 08:37

I’m fascinated by the school’s reaction to this, and horrified on your behalf. They have to report it as soon as possible and as the PP has said, at the latest within 72 hours. Given the danger it has put you in they’re going to really struggle to defend why they have taken almost a full week to even respond to you, never mind report the breach. I think they’re going to deservedly have the floor wiped with them. I think you would be fine to complain without delay, and include their obfuscation and lack of response in your complaint, it’s absolutely disgusting.

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 11/10/2018 08:37

You've got a record of your emails request being unanswered; start with that. Make your complaint. Detail everything, including their refusal to provide you with a written confirmation of what they have said.

I wouldn't have left the school without it. They'd need to have called the police to remove me.

Berthatydfil · 11/10/2018 08:50

I see that someone else has said THEY need to self report the breach ASAP and definitely within 72 hrs. They will be in trouble with ICO if they don’t do so.
I suspect they are trying to fob you off under the guise of investigating it and hoping you will go away.
I have had all the GDPR training with my employer and they should have also.
Can you check if the school has a privacy notice and if so what it says about sharing your data.
I suspect your data may fall into the special sensitive data class due to your history and this makes the breach much more serious.

ConfusedMum82 · 11/10/2018 08:57

If there's a chance they're stalling, i would inagine you could submit a freedom of information request for all files regards your child held by school. I think it's a small cost but I would worry certain paperwork would disappear and that's what's taking so long.

QueenDaisy · 11/10/2018 09:12

If I was you, I’d report them now, no more waiting, you have proof they knew they shouldn’t give your details to your ex, you have a text message from him saying it was the school that gave him the information, although they could imply he’s making it up, which he’s not, as you’ve spoke to the school about it & they admitted it was them, there’s no need for you not to be believed. I doubt you’ll be getting an email from them admitting what they did.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 11/10/2018 09:20

RandomMess - I used the live chat on Monday to get advice and they said it would be better if I had the emails and anything else in writing for obvious reasons but I will speak with them again today and explain what’s happened and I still haven’t received any email.

I have a couple of viewings for other properties today but it’s going to be tight getting the money together especially this time of year but this priority now.

I’m going to sit down this afternoon and start writing out my complaint and send it off.

Thank you all x

OP posts:
Funnyface1 · 11/10/2018 09:33

Go to the school, ask to see the head, tell her how badly this is being handled and that it's only adding weight to your eventual complaint. Then refuse to leave until they give you a written copy of the incident.

Absolutely disgraceful. Good luck.

RandomMess · 11/10/2018 09:47

I would be asking them if they can loan you the deposit funds for your new house Angry

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 11/10/2018 10:03

Your school have to publish who their Data Officer is. It may be buried in a document about data protection or in a handbook where they talk about data protection or possibly in their complaints procedure rather than being easy to find on a website. Have a good look and find that person and deal directly with them.

That person may not be from your school, its not a requirement that they are, and they have to remain impartial as part of that job. You'll get a lot further making a proper complaint with them than dealing with the office staff who most likely are trying to cover their backs.

ConfusedMum82 · 11/10/2018 11:05

Is it a local authority school?

I would be going to the housing team at the council. Explain the breach and the fact this is now leaving your safety at risk, that you will incur costs to move that you can't afford and, if it's a local authority school, mention how they now have a duty of care whilst the IOC investigates to rehome you. At the very least they may offer you a deposit and put you in touch with private landlords.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 11/10/2018 14:49

Ok so I had an email just now.

It was from the office apologising for the slight delay but they are investigating the issue.

I replied saying they can investigate as much as they like but I want what has happened in writing and I have proof of the numerous times I’ve made them aware that under no circumstances should my information be given to ex so as far as I’m concerned they just need to send my email confirming it.

OP posts:
woolduvet · 11/10/2018 15:15

Yep, you're not interested in what will happen, just what has happened so far. A summary!

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2018 15:23

Wonder if they have informed the ICO.

Gazelda · 11/10/2018 15:55

I think you've given them enough time to investigate. I'd go ahead with initiating a formal complaint. Don't warn them, just do it.

Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 11/10/2018 17:00

Gazelda- I’m thinking the same. Just got back from viewing a few properties and swimming lessons for DD so this evening is all about writing the complaint.

OP posts:
Original poster
Firsttimenamechange1 · 11/10/2018 17:50

Ok so I’ve just had a missed call and a voicemail left on my phone. Was bathing DD at the time.

Someone else from the school has left the message saying the person that was dealing with it had been busy on school trips etc and it’s now been passed to this other person. They have said they want to meet with me to ‘discuss where they went wrong’ and ‘help me regain my trust in them’ and discuss moving forward.

All I want is this email but it doesn’t look like it’s going to come easily.

Do I meet with this new person or just demand for the email?

OP posts:
Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 11/10/2018 17:53

Meet them, tell them you will be recording it for your own peace of mind so no facts can be twisted later on. If the refuse then ask for someone to be present solely to take the minutes of the meeting. At the end, check the minutes and sign each page. Have them sign each page. Then immediatly get a photo copy. That way, if they don't email you still have what you need for the complaint.

But still continue asking for the email right up until your meeting.

DamsonGin · 11/10/2018 18:00

That's a good idea to minute the meeting, or ask a friend to take notes. For this evening I would suggest you still draft the complaint so it's fresh in your head. If you want to you could send a copy of the text by email to the school and if you meet, follow up with another email stating what was discussed. Importantly, state the effect this is having on you and your DD (emotionally as well as financially and having to move).