To be angry with school

[Firsttimenamechange1]

Name changed just in case. Posting here for traffic.

A bit of background. After a few years of emotional and verbal abuse along with infidelity on his part, I split with my ex 6 years ago and we have a DD6. He used to sit outside my house everyday when we first split. (He has DD for 3 hours every Monday and Tuesday and EOW since the break up. )

I contacted the police on several occasions and logged the fact he sat outside the house along with harassment via text messages every week. I have moved address and not told him where I am (I do drop offs and pick ups to his to avoid him knowing where I live) and also taken out a new phone contract so I message him on my old phone due to the anxiety I feel when I receive a text from him.
He hasn’t paid child maintenance in 6 years and I finally plucked up the courage to contact CMS a couple months ago. He has missed the first 2 payments.

I told the school numourous times that I do not want him knowing my address and new phone number due to the past and I also made them aware the police have been involved and they have acknowledged this.

Today I received a text from him saying that he doesn’t want to go through CMS and the school has given him my new number and address so he will be contacting me on my new number. He then text me on it to prove this. I told him that is my work number and he is to not contact me on that.

I am now scared that they have also given him my address. I will be going down to the school office tomorrow morning and if they have given my details to him what can I do? I thought that with GDPR they can’t do this, along with the fact I have specifically told them I don’t want him knowing my details. Any advice would be appreciated x

I think the school need to step up. Has there been an apology yet?

Omg I'm so cross for you
They're such either incompetent or irresponsible bastards

@DoveBlue thank you. I don’t feel strong at all but I am cross so I think that is helping. I’m trying to keep calm through email exchanges although I feel I am also coming across assertive (I hope!)

@Maelstrop no apology yet. They said they are in talks with ICO to see if they have breached data protection. That is all I’ve had.

Good luck this afternoon, they have breached Data Protection & I’m sure the Soliciotor will confirm this with you & take appropriate action

Good luck today, keep calm and let them spill all, get it in writing before you show your cards.

Oh my goodness OP. This is ridiculous. I would be requesting minutes of their conversations with the ICO too to ensure they are truthful. Hope today goes well for you.

Thank you all. Will update later on today x

I’ve just read this whole thread and I can sense your worry but a great strength too. I hope you get a solid way forward this afternoon with a solicitor who is able to hold everyone to account.
It’s shit you’re having to deal with this.

How did the meeting go? I hope ot went well and wasn't too stressful

Hi all,

Sorry for late reply - had a poorly DD yesterday and last night.

Meeting went well. Had a lot of useful advice. They said it is a breach in their opinion and have given me my next steps. Looks like it could be a lengthy process if the school don’t cooperate but at least I know what to do now. Fingers crossed.

It’s given me a little bit of hope and I came out feeling relieved that someone is taking me seriously and agreed that the school have dealt with this poorly.

HAve they heard back from the ico yet ? Can you ask for contact Details to speak t9 them?

That’s really good to hear op.

Glad someone’s taking you seriously. It is so serious im utterly shocked at how the school have handled it.

This is disgusting and should be taken seriously! he could have come and done anything and then they would have been in serious trouble! Just because he hasn't (luckily) doesn't mean they shouldn't take ownership for there major error in judgement, make change and apologise! Hope you're ok

Could the school reimburse you your costs?

@Notapizzaeater No they haven’t heard back from the ICO - that’s what they told me anyway.
@Littlemissdaredevil I need to go through everything the solicitor advised and make sure I can prove certain things which I strongly believe I can. Then go down that route.
I do not want ‘bad blood’ and my daughter loves the school but it’s not fair that I have to struggle to come up with the money in this situation.

So the appointment was with your solicitor ? It sounds positive at least !

I take it the school are still dragging their heals ?

Good luck

@Purplepinkpurple yes it was. It was very positive. Much better than expected.
School dragging heels. Not yet saying it’s a breach and waiting for reply from ICO still etc

It sounds like the school - quite rightly - are shitting themselves.

Any joy with the house hunting op

No joy as of yet

Also had this happen...
So about a week ago I was asked to pick up a letter from school. It was a standard one where a child is rewarded in front of the whole school and their parents for their achievements / behaviour etc to take place towards the end of Nov. I told my ex and gave him date / time.

DD came out of school yesterday looking upset. I asked her what was wrong and she handed me her award. They mixed up the students and she was given her award without either of us being there as the date was for 3 weeks time. She was upset that no one (family) was there to see I made my ex aware of the mix up and he said he thinks I was lying about the original date to spite him even after I sent a picture of the letter he thinks I’ve photo shopped it!!!!

So I spoke to the school and they said nothing they can do as it wouldn’t be fair on the other children if DD gets another mention (not award) in a few weeks which I understand but what has happened to owning up to mistakes? Children would appreciate that teachers make mistakes sometimes too and they are correcting it?

In the grand scheme of things it’s not as big as what I’m already dealing with but my heart sank when she told me she was looking for me in the hall and didn’t see me

oh Im sorry OP - that sounds terrible.

Are this school struggling in other areas/in crisis or do they just have incompetent admin staff?

Not struggling in other areas that I’m aware of.
I get that mistakes happen but it’s just incredibly frustrating that this has happened after the breach.
I’m taking DD out for a big ice cream after school today for her achievement. Not sure who’s more excited

Good grief they sound incompetent. You would think in the circumstances they would be paying slightly more attention.

Poor DD not really fair to her . It's insult to injury