To retire at 42?

[milkandcrisps]

Obviously not actually retire. Here is my situation. I have no family at all and no partner and few friends.

I am considering having a child. Because of my age I would have to do this with fertility treatment.

I have thought and thought about how I might be able to work with a child and I’m not sure it’s possible. Nursery costs are too high. Plus sometimes I have to do anti social hours.

So - I am considering retiring aged 42. If I took even five years out it’s unlikely I’d get back into my line of work. I don’t think I care as I hate it but am I mad??

a full state penguin

I know it's an auto-correct typo but... snigger!

I know little but I’m talking about my own pension not a state one and for the state pension I would still be claiming CB.

Yes lots of parents are in paid employment and make it work but that’s usually because they have some help, even if they are not with the child’s other parent he may help financially or physically, grandparents etc. I have to be realistic. The child will get ill and not be able to go to nursery; I will have to be in work before nursery opens and after it closes sometimes.

A state penguin would be cool. I would vote for a government that give us penguins

you actually sound selfish, no partner and no family. If something happens to you who will raise and love this child? Are you expecting this child to be your friend as you only have a few? And why do you only have a few friends and why do you not like your job?
Sorry but there’s more wrong than your views on a career break.

You sound very welded to your current line of work. May I ask what you do or how much it pays (rough take home/month)?

is the 450 after bills and rent?

You should think very very very carefully before 'retiring' at your age. Jobs are easy to give up, not so easy to get back.

When I saw this title, I thought you were going to say you had built up a lot of savings or had another source of income. However, just over £100 a week is really very little to maintain yourself, let alone a child who is totally dependent on you. Also, children grow up. Even if you were to get pregnant quickly and have a baby next year, that child would be relatively independent and no longer require full-time care when you're still relatively young. Do you really want to give yourself no other options except as the carer for your child? Sounds extremely precarious to me.

I know florence but you know I can’t even be arsed getting into all that. Life’s too short.

Ye 45k

@milkandcrisps if you don't go back to work I think you will find having a baby incredibly lonely ! If that's what you want to do then do it but can't you change your line of work and maybe go part time somewhere as tax credits pay up to 70% towards nursery fees and when
Your child starts school you will have a lot of time on your hands. I don't think giving up work completely is the right answer but maybe find something more suitable when your child is 2/3 years old, less hours but still getting an income. I wouldn't hack into your pension you saved it for a pension not for when your 42 ! X

You "can't be arsed" getting into a discussion about the most important, irreversible and life-changing decision you will ever take?

Seriously?

£450 a month would be plenty if it’s after bills. You’d still be able to eat, clothe your dc and put something aside for Christmas, birthdays and holidays. If it’s before rent and bills that’s a different matter.

You can afford nursery for one child on 45k. Or look at a childminder.

Can you speak to your employer about flexible working?

If I were you I would exhaust all options that way first. You will get more help with childcare as they get older. So the financial struggle will lesson in a couple of years and then again when child starts school. (in terms of childcare anyway).

If I were you I would keep the job. You will appreciate having the money as they get older. it will mean you can give them the treats etc that their friends have, help support their hobbies, afford, help them out as they get older.

if your going to do a good job of parenting alone you need good back up, solid extended family biological or otherwise and money. Or are you hoping to raise your own caregiver?

Would you be eligible for or able to afford fertility treatment?
Being on your own with a child and no family support can be lonely and difficult. Even more so if you have few friends. It can be lonely and difficult even if you do have those advantages (as I know from experience).
Have you considered looking for another job and seeking other ways to improve your life instead of having a child?

dont ask on mumsnet, they will jump on you for considering going on benefits.

it is your decision.

you could get a cat or a dog op

there are flexible childminders op, or a nanny, you can go back to work, you might prefer to

My DD is 3 and not by choice I'm basically an LP.

My 2 bed flat with HB and Council Tax help costs me £650 a month to run without food.

That's £15 each a week gas and electric, £17 a quarter water.

My DD is 3.3 and still in nappies, which costs me £15 a month. Then there's food, I spend around £50 a week on food for the two of us.

Then £300 a month on Nursery, that's with 30 hours (she gets them due to her disability even though I'm not working) as I pay for the 3 hours a day wrap around care and meals.

So you need to plan to spend around £1k a month from age 3 onwards I reckon, so if you're starting out alone you'd need more.

Don't think £400 would do it. I struggle, and get very little maintenance from DDs dad. The plan for me is that I can hopefully work parttime, it was supposed to be ASAP but I've now had to put it off due to unforeseen situation...the best laid plans and all that.

If you own a home outright then possibly but depending on council tax etc it's hard to see how even then you'd manage on so little. You'd be better off taking mat leave and then trying to go back part time.

You can't afford childcare but you can afford to retire? How does that work? At 42 your chances of conceiving with your own eggs aren't the greatest anyhow and may not even be a possibility, a lot of clinics won't use the woman's own eggs after 41 or 42. I think you're being completely unreasonable. £500/month is not enough to afford to bring up a child.

I think giving up work to have a child is a terrible idea (and I've been a solo working parent of pre-schoolers), but I still feel obliged to point out that you can claim state pension contributions for at least some of the child raising years)

I think it’s a terrible idea. You will eventually have no choice but to return to some kind of work and you will have to receive benefits.

£450 a month would be plenty if it’s after bills.

That works out at about £15 per day, every day. I don't lead an extravagant lifestyle by any mean, but I would hate to live like that for the rest of my life even as a single person, let alone if I had a kid fully dependent on me. I mean, you could probably survive, but there would be nothing left over for occasional luxuries, or emergencies.

Sounds like a very very precarious situaiton to put yourself, and worse, a child, into.

A relative of mine ‘retired’ at 49. They were made redundant and didn’t beed to work financially so never bothered to look elsewhere or retrain. It has been very damaging for their MH. It aged them well beyond their years and was very isolating too. Up to 50 years of retirement is a long time to maintain a purpose.

OP - I have just made a life-changing decision for my mental health.

Nothing as drastic as bringing a child into the world, but job-wise.

I sat down and did the sums.

I found I can live far more cheaply than I realised.

Also, you can only base your numbers on the current situation. Who knows what will happen with Brexit, the economy, interest rates, rent prices etc etc? No-one can really predict anything.

Sometimes you have to live a little “in the now”.

I am a naturally cautious person but sometimes you have to follow your soul.

You will get free nursery places and work in Aldi or whatever. Who knows what opportunities will come up? Who knows if anyone will have a job after Brexit? You might be left money in a will. Anything can happen ......