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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think how sex is usually portrayed in TV/Film between women and men is awful?

179 replies

abacucat · 06/10/2018 15:47

Yes there are exceptions, but most TV and Film portray sex between a women and man as a bit of kissing/snogging and then penetration. That is it. I know if that is how I had sex I would never orgasm at all. It seems as if TV and Film are largely unaware of all the different kind of things a woman and man can do in sex.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 07/10/2018 06:16

*reach

Borridge · 07/10/2018 06:24

No penis beakers ever on those shows, either.

Somersetlady · 07/10/2018 07:48

I prefer piv as it’s a stronger orgasm for me than through outercourse!

MaryShelley1818 · 07/10/2018 08:19

Another woman here who loves PIV and happy to get straight into it after a quick snog! Always orgasm this way too - maybe we’re not as rare as you thought :)

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 08:35

So you think tv and film depicts sex as it is and you’re happy that it rarely depicts sex in any other way?

Cool.

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 08:38

Ooh that book sounds interesting Casper, thank you.

MorrisZapp · 07/10/2018 08:46

Usually the sex shown on telly is between newish or first time partners, so the race to ecstatic thrusting is fairly realistic.

I can't really be fagged with sex scenes but I'd be double unfagged with married people warming each other up with twiddles and licking for twenty minutes of my precious sofa time.

I think we all accept the deal that nobody on telly goes for long bathroom visits, spills soup or needs specific directions in telephone calls. It doesn't represent real life to that extent, because it would hold up action or intrude into the story.

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 08:57

Oh blimey, most of my new relationships (and my friends, when we used to talk about them!) would be far more erotic/convoluted/varied than just a race to thrusting. I think it’s a shame that’s not represented.
It’s a very male perspective of sex I’m sure.

Re married sex, yeah, I see your point. I’ve just started watching ‘wanderlust’ ooof!

Strugglingtodomybest · 07/10/2018 09:09

abacucat

ConciseVirtually no woman does.

Ooo I feel special!

Whilst the sex on tv is mostly very unrealistic, I have no wish to see it drawn out to show more realistic sex. It's boring and normally has nothing to do with the plot.

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 09:15

I don’t see why showing alternative sex has to be anymore drawn out, long or boring than how it’s depicted now.

Courtney555 · 07/10/2018 09:26

I have to say, I find a lot of these replies interesting, because I've honestly never noticed.

It just wouldn't register to me that a "normal" sex scene was over in a minute, you kind of know it will be, because they've got to cram the rest of the storyline in to the remaining 29 minutes.

A lot of the time, it's just because as a viewer, you need to know that it happened because of the relevance to the story line. A first time, an affair, a long awaited liason. I don't even pay attention to what the physical motions are. Interesting that it stands out to so many of you.

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 09:33

‘People notice different things- shock!’

calamitycake · 07/10/2018 09:40

I don't really want to watch foreplay on TV though it's too explicit.

It's all unrealistic though isn't it? Mornings on TV portray both couples still at home with juice and freshly made coffee on the table, rays of sunlight coming through the blinds. The reality is very different both out the door before breakfast, no time for OJ and coffee. It's pissing down with rain and you're anxious about getting kids to childminders, you've already checked the rail app and your train is delayed and you don't want to go to work anyway. Reality doesn't make good tv.

DwangelaForever · 07/10/2018 09:49

I don't think sex scenes on tv or in films need to be graphic and include loads of foreplay before PIV - if I was so concerned about it I'd stick on a porno.

MargaretCavendish · 07/10/2018 09:50

I have a friend who thought she orgasmed vaginally, until she got a vibrator and discovered that an orgasm isn't it just feeling a bit nicer for a bit. Just going to put that out there and tiptoe away...

Djnoun · 07/10/2018 09:56

Haha @MargaretCavendish I'm pretty certain with mine, I have to say Grin

Helmetbymidnight · 07/10/2018 09:57

So thrusting piv isn’t explicit or graphic but foreplay is.
Ahh, now I understand!

AamdC · 07/10/2018 10:00

Thanks Margaret but i know what an orgasm is Hmm

JacquesHammer · 07/10/2018 10:02

I have a friend who thought she orgasmed vaginally, until she got a vibrator and discovered that an orgasm isn't it just feeling a bit nicer for a bit. Just going to put that out there and tiptoe away...

Yes that must indeed be the case. That we’re just not orgasming and have got it all wrong Hmm

Haisuli · 07/10/2018 10:04

Hate sex on telly. Do orgasm PIV. But didn't till I was 30. I was very surprised when it happened. Happens every time now. Need to be quite a way up the runway first though 😁

Villainelle · 07/10/2018 10:11

What amazes me about TV sex is fully dressed couple start kissing and next thing he gets his dick in without even unzipping his jeans or using his hands in any way Shock

WTBE · 07/10/2018 10:23

I can orgasm from PIV now, but that is only since having a baby? I'm not sure why that is, but I won't complain. And to be fair it is in certain positions where my clit is being stimulated too.

Films never show you the build up to the orgasm, almost there then Poof just like that it's gone. I hate that! Or am I the only one that can happen to?

Djnoun · 07/10/2018 10:33

WTBE same here about getting more orgasmic after having a baby. But not complaining!

TheChampagneGalop · 07/10/2018 10:36

I don't think sex scenes on tv or in films need to be graphic and include loads of foreplay before PIV - if I was so concerned about it I'd stick on a porno.

But right now TV sex is like a male porno: Thrust thrust thrust, not much else.
I don't really want to see long explicit sex scenes.
But I wish they would imply men giving oral more or using hands and not everything leading to PIV.
I know plenty here love it but PIV being standard is not only boring as hell to me but lead people (like younger me) to think that this is the ultimate orgasmic sex act that the woman must come from. It is obviously not always the case.

TheChampagneGalop · 07/10/2018 10:38

it also makes me nervous in a historical/fantasy context when the woman can get pregnant...