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To think how sex is usually portrayed in TV/Film between women and men is awful?

179 replies

abacucat · 06/10/2018 15:47

Yes there are exceptions, but most TV and Film portray sex between a women and man as a bit of kissing/snogging and then penetration. That is it. I know if that is how I had sex I would never orgasm at all. It seems as if TV and Film are largely unaware of all the different kind of things a woman and man can do in sex.

OP posts:

Lethaldrizzle · 06/10/2018 19:24

Tv sex the woman is always writhing around ecstatically on top


IfNotNowThenWhen1 · 06/10/2018 19:36

Yanbu OP. I shout this at the telly everytime a couple have their first (FIRST!) snog, and in seconds it's knickers off and he's up there like a rat up a drainpipe.
I mean, I like a quicky sometimes, and God knows I have often gone all the way on a first date, but this fast forward version you ALWAYS see is sort of showing young people that that's how it's supposed to play out with every time.
There's never any foreplay, giggling, shifting of positions, discussion of condom, nothing resembling actual first time sex.
Piv can be amazing but frankly if I'm not ready I might as well be having a smear test.


Djnoun · 06/10/2018 19:39

It's my firm belief that first time sex is always a bit crap. You don't really know the ropes, do you? I mean, it can be exciting. But truly amazing? No.

And although I said I can orgasm through PIV, I really need to have formed a bond with the other person so I've got the oxytocin levels up and I feel safe enough. So it's not going to happen the first time.


Gigglebrain · 06/10/2018 19:42

Has anyone watched Outlander? That’s a fine sex scene!


1forsorrow2forjoy · 06/10/2018 19:44

The sex scenes in 'the affair' wee always quite awkward and realistic I thought. More realistic than most tv shite anyway


Pebblespony · 06/10/2018 19:44

Do we really want to see lengthy foreplay, questions about how that feels, stopping because his elbow is on your hair, changing positions because you're getting tired etc? If I see sex on the tv it's fantasy land. I want entertainment. If I wanted the alternative, I'd watch a documentary. Much like every other aspect of fiction on tv.


Whatsallthisaboutthen · 06/10/2018 19:50

Agreed, it does most women a disservice to depict it this way.


MysteriousQuinn · 06/10/2018 19:53

Another one here who isn't a fan of dragging out the foreplay and orgasms from PIV. I've always been under the impression that I'm unusual in that though.


Charley50 · 06/10/2018 19:56

I really can't bear sex scenes but quite often the man is seen sliding down the covers, to go down on the woman. It's not all PIV, PIV, PIV.

I can also come from PIV, but mainly by DP kind of bumping on my clit at the same time. Does that count? BlushGrin


PoxAlert · 06/10/2018 19:56


Most sex we have is DH touching me until I've orgasmed enough and then PIV.

You don't see that on telly ever.

Basically with telly sex hands never touch genitals. Shame for them really. Wink


mrsmoppp · 06/10/2018 20:01

Do none of you use toys to enhance the piv?


IfNotNowThenWhen1 · 06/10/2018 20:07

It's how fast they go from kissing to shagging that annoys me. Where's the anticipation? ! It does explain many rushed encounters with men though.


AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/10/2018 20:14

I have to agree I prefer PIV orgasms, much better than any other kind. Depending on how horny I am, I don’t need foreplay at all.

Snap. I guess Mumsnet must be big enough to have a lot of us here as the 20%; if the surveys were right!


lilyheather1 · 06/10/2018 20:15

I think you're going to get a hell of a lot of respondents telling you how easily they can orgasm through PIV, Ignoring the fact that it IS harder, because there's probably an underlying sense of superiority that they can and most can't.


Djnoun · 06/10/2018 20:24

There's no superiority at all. I couldn't orgasm through PIV for the first three years I had sex.

We are all individuals. I actually couldn't have an orgasm from masturbation until I was 28!


Overyou · 06/10/2018 20:53

It’s not about superiority. People are just different. I’m not interested in foreplay myself. I prefer the main event.


vampirethriller · 06/10/2018 20:58

I've never orgasmed through PIV, and I've been with men I found massively exciting (not all of themGrin) it just doesn't happen. Feels nice and all that but nope. I like it but the playing around is much more fun.


affectionincoldclimate · 06/10/2018 21:00


It ruined my teenage and young adult experience of sex as I thought I was doing it wrong and genuinely thought that there was something wrong with me for not orgasming from 5 thrusts by my equally inexperienced boyfriends who clearly saw the same movies.


coffeeagogo · 06/10/2018 21:08

@AnotherCareerThread I laughed so much at your post I woke the dog - I hear you!!


DieAntword · 06/10/2018 21:46

I’m a bit weird. I hate foreplay, some kinds just make me uncomfortable or tickle. Some kinds are just too intense. I’m very happy to go straight to the main act which I enjoy.


Annandale · 06/10/2018 21:46

The nearest thing to any form of realistic sex scene I have ever seen is in The Big Easy. Trainspotting had something, but apparently in some markets they censored the sex scene because Kelly Macdonald looked like she was enjoying herself too much. That's a problem for me with film sex - that the women remain in a kind of glacial calm throughout even if they do quite a lengthy sex scene. So for a very long time I did think it was normal, even right, that I was feeling so little pleasure that I might as well have been washing the floor. But I'm not sure looking at other people's actual sex faces is that appealing.


EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 06/10/2018 21:58

The one sex seen that I can watch and think is realistic and funny is Carrie with the Jack Rabbit guy it’s hilarious and totally can relate to it

But most are totally unrealistic but then again I don’t really want to watch half hour of fumbling about


7Days · 06/10/2018 22:11

Why show it at all? I d live to watch a good bank heist movie in an overstuffed room at Christmas without fretting about FIL and 13 year old nephew. Excruciating. A bit of kissing to move the relationship along. Showing sex is supposed to make you horny isn't it. Who wants to share that with great aunt Beryl


peachgreen · 06/10/2018 22:21

I mentally add at least 3 points to my review score for any film or show that features enthusiastic cunnilingus. Grin


ShackUp · 06/10/2018 22:30

I think we need to define orgasm here!

It is impossible for me to climax through PIV sex. Penis angle prohibits anything from rubbing against my clitoris.

Is there such a thing as a caginal orgasm? Those of you who climax through PIV sex, can you also have clitoral orgasms? (Tbh I thought they were the only kind Confused).

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