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AIBU to think my 4yo DS is an anatomical anomaly?!

171 replies

Rinoachicken · 06/10/2018 09:32

How is it biologically possible for a small child to do a poo so BIG that it won’t flush down the toilet?! No word of a lie, it is as long as his THIGH (and not much different in diameter)!!! Where in his body is he keeping it??!!! It’s not even a one off occurrence, this is a regular weekly deposit!!!!!

I am seriously considering buying a poo knife!!!

OP posts:
Coffeeisnecessary · 06/10/2018 09:37

Ha! My 7 year old ds has done full grown massive adult size poos for years and it's always astonished me. They must have really efficient digestive systems. Poo knife may well be the way forward.

Candlelights2345 · 06/10/2018 09:39

My DS does this too 😂 maybe is a boy thing?? Just the sheer width of the things too is unbelievable.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 06/10/2018 09:40

This will probably out me but a few weeks ago I came home from work and caught DH stood at the top of the stairs clutching a butter knife. I was confused so asked what was going on, he shook his head and replied "you do not ever want to know what I'm about to do" and proceeded to chop away at the vine-like shite that DS1 had just laid in their bathroom.

I'm 37 and have never, never needed to chop up a shit in my life. How small boys produce such monsters is beyond all science.

Hidillyho · 06/10/2018 09:41

My 2 year old does poos the size of her baby cousins head. I honestly don’t know how it’s possible. This is multiple times a week and sometimes more than once a day

Thishatisnotmine · 06/10/2018 09:42

Dd 3.5 regularly produces non-flushers. I use one of the many kids clothes hangers we have to poke at them and then throw the hanger away. I have bought a reusable coffeecup to try and balance out the waste of plastc!

codenameduchess · 06/10/2018 09:42

3 year old dd does this regularly! I don't know where it comes from... and they seem to take no effort at all. How is it possible?!

scottishma · 06/10/2018 09:45

There is such a thing as a poo knife?! 😳

DappledThings · 06/10/2018 09:46

DS is 2 and still in nappies. Sometimes when he's doing one of his really big ones he gets a bit distressed and asks for a cuddle till it's all done.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 06/10/2018 09:48

My 4 year old DD do these phenomenal poos too! She also never spends more than 10 seconds pushing it out! Also, she has a lucky Barry every time! She wipes and the wipe is always clean! 🙈

Notacluewhatthisis · 06/10/2018 09:50

Oh my kids, girl and boy, are the same I look at the size of them and do not understand how it even fitted in their body's. It just doesn't add up!

SoyDora · 06/10/2018 09:52

Not a boy thing, my 4 year old 9th centile DD does this too!

continuallychargingmyphone · 06/10/2018 09:53

It’s because we religiously stuff five a day down their throats Grin

Littlemissdaredevil · 06/10/2018 09:58

What is a poo knife?!?

TeaStory · 06/10/2018 10:00

“Poop knife” is from a Reddit thread that went viral a few months ago. Unfortunately the original has now been deleted, but here is Buzzfeed’s take:

BathshebaAndGabriel · 06/10/2018 10:01

My dinky 7 year old DD is the same.
She still gets us to come and marvel at her creations.

cantfindname · 06/10/2018 10:04

Save on the knife. Either a couple of jugs of hot water will break it up or a bucket of cold will make it behave in a normal poo fashion and flush.

ArcheryAnnie · 06/10/2018 10:05

When my DS was small, he did one so big that I actually took a photo of it before I flushed (or tried to flush). I'd have been staggered if an adult had managed to produce something that big.

Then I realised I'd become the sort of parent who took photos of her PFB's poo and had a bit of a word with myself.

PennyForum6 · 06/10/2018 10:06

Omg, I thought I was alone with this... We've have some whoppers in our house. They poked out of the water by a few inches - completely unflushable.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 06/10/2018 10:12

My 4 year old does this too.
He still insists I wipe his bum for him and now I'm starting to suspect it's not that he can't wipe by himself, he just wants to show me his gargantuan excrement.

Allergictoironing · 06/10/2018 10:14

Google Viking poo - there's a fossilised poo that was excavated in York that is around 8 inches long and 2 inches in diameter. It's on display at the Viking centre in York, and most people go cross eyes on just looking at it!

Mari50 · 06/10/2018 10:14

Haha, I once went into the loo after my dd(6 at the time) to discover a poo the size of my forearm. It took twelve flushes before it finally disappeared round the u-bend which was probably an illegal amount of water to use to get rid of shit in Australia.
My dd was irrationally proud of herself.

worstmotherintheworld · 06/10/2018 10:15

What's a lucky Barry?


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notapizzaeater · 06/10/2018 10:15

You need a bucket of water, as you pull the flush pour the water in at the same time. Honest it works, we've had to do it with ds poo for years !

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 06/10/2018 10:17

They poked out of the water by a few inches - completely unflushable

Yep - we call these "the bucket" - we have a special bucket used to fill with hot water and drop onto it while flushing. Ds went from being fascinated, and calling everyone into see - "look - it's not even IN the water Shock" to calmly walking out and saying "Ma, you're going to need a bigger bucket Hmm"

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 06/10/2018 10:18

A lucky Barry, when you wipe and there is no mess on paper first time.

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