AIBU to think my 4yo DS is an anatomical anomaly?!

[Rinoachicken]

How is it biologically possible for a small child to do a poo so BIG that it won’t flush down the toilet?! No word of a lie, it is as long as his THIGH (and not much different in diameter)!!! Where in his body is he keeping it??!!! It’s not even a one off occurrence, this is a regular weekly deposit!!!!!

I am seriously considering buying a poo knife!!!

Oh, in our house a ghoster is when it disappears straight down the U bend.

soydora this is the freshest you can get,still warm and never any swelling. This isn't just a dump, it's an m&s dump

My tiny dog does this 🤢 I'm sure they're almost bigger than she is sometimes

I work in a pre-school - your ds is unfortunately not unusual. We have a bucket we fill with water to flush with when a normal sized flush from the cistern is never going to be enough.

I used to work as a chambermaid and had a poo knife.

Also please don't put hot water on it. You'll just poach it.

Poached poo??!!!!!

And yep, totally fresh here, he comes running to tell you as soon as he’s done it, and to usher you into the temple to worship at the throne of enormous turds.

Iputthescrewinthetuna Oh yeah!!! I forgot that bit. It's when it's gone down the ubend and also a clean wipe 😂😂😂

People are wondering what DC1 and I are giggling at, reading this on the train.

DC2's offerings are known as 18 wheelers.

Can we nominate for Classics?

worse is the one that goes part way round the u bend and gets stuck at one of the right angled turns on the way to the down pipe. unreachable,

The time I babysat my nephew and saw the enormous tree trunk of a shit he had laid in his potty it nearly put me off having children for life.

He was 32 though.

As a mum of two teenage boys I can believe it, we call them mega shits in our house

When my DS was in nursery he did a poo so big it blocked the toilet and nursery needed to call the plumber . They even asked what I was feeding him it was a punnet of blueberries the night before

How can I have made it to 43 without knowing what a Lucky Barry is?

.....when you hear the 'plop' but there is nothing in the toilet!

Mine often disappear away round the u-bend straightaway, wtf is that?

This thread really does make me feel so much better about some of DS’s monstrosities. Some of them are so huge we just have to live with them lingering for a day until they eventually break up or succumb to later flushes, but I’ll definitely look into allocating a specific knife to the task next time

Dd used to marvel at the shape hers would make by hitting the bottom of the potty and bending. I'm ashamed to say I've sent more than one photo to DH in my time, simply because I'm so impressed!

I find a good accordion toilet plunger works well for mammoth ones that get stuck up the u-bend. It's made my life so much easier.

A stealth poo is when you expel one out so fast it shoots round the u bend and then when you go to wipe it's clean.

While we're on the subject,what about cats that do poos big enough for a bloody dinosaur?! She not a very big cat,just 8 lbs in weight,but OMG the size of the poo sometimes! I think,where the hell did she store that?!

My ex partner did one so huge, it had to be broken up with a screw driver, ever after known as the poodriver

I still remember having to slice one like a salami before it would flush. Amazing thing it was and was produced by the tiniest most petite young girl you can imagine
I didn't have a poo knife as such, just a normal steak knife

When i was a kid we had a code for non flushing poop - 007
My father would go in with the kettle and say;
"We meet again Mr Bond"

I am here to say that I think bowels are like heads - they are weirdly large when kids are small.

My son's poos used to do the same as you describe when he was young. Much less now he's 17. I have no idea why.

I'm afraid I used to have a poo-stick to break them up. No poo stick now, so take heart!