To regret moving out of London?

[Pickupthephone]

So about 6 months ago we moved from a tiny one bed flat in a lovely (but expensive) part of south London to a house in an town in one of the Home Counties.

We wanted a proper house and garden (and we couldn’t afford one in London), we wanted to be closer to the countryside, and we wanted things like good schools and good hospitals. I actually wanted to relocate completely and move up north, but my DH didn’t want to (jobs etc) so we compromised on this place.

And we’ve got all that stuff but I miss London.

The town we’ve moved to is ‘officially’ posh and insanely expensive (cheaper than London but that’s not saying much). And it seems superficially nice when you visit it (and as it did when we were looking round) but when you get to know it, it’s such a dump. The council tax is through the roof but the council definitely aren’t doing any street cleaning - the centre of town’s dirty and always stinks. There seems to be a lot of drug use - perhaps because there’s less for young people to do - but walking home at night I feel way more threatened there than I ever did in London. There are so many homeless people. They have camps on the pavements. How is such a rich council in such a rich area not helping them?! The car to human ratio is about 10 to 1 (I guess because there’s no public transport) so the traffic’s terrible, the pollution’s terrible, parking’s terrible. And we pay thousands of pounds in season tickets for the privilege of living here.

I know I’m going to get told that I should have got to know the place better before moving, perhaps you’re right, but it was tricky. I guess I’m just looking for sympathy - has anyone else moved and regretted it?

[Biologifemini]

Commuter towns suffer from being close to London. I moved to the Home Counties and regretted it.
Fortunately I kept the London place and fully intend to move back at some point. The major advantage is the cleaner air and schools. But otherwise the area suffers from a lack of investment because people have London 20 mins away.
I’d recommend to sooner move to a city or town that isn’t within easy commute.

[mrsmalcolmreynolds]

I live near Guildford and go there regularly - there is a fair bit of traffic but definitely better than London and the buses are ok. Never seen encampments of homeless people there!

[Stonebake]

But otherwise the area suffers from a lack of investment because people have London 20 mins away

Totally agree. We used to live about 20-25 mins from London by train and it was crap! It was such a naice town that they obviously didn’t need things like leisure centres or cinemas, because people were members of fancy pants gyms and had home cinemas in their mansions. I was not in a mansion btw, just a teeny flat by the railway tracks, but it was very convenient for work.

[jupiterdawn]

Op, it's taken me ten years to settle into the countryside but I'd still move tomorrow. We too moved into a 'nice' area - and the area really is lovely - but I've realised i'm just not a person who thrives living outside a city. Still here though, DH and DS won't move (to be fair, there are complicated reasons for this)!

Having said all of the above, I know lots of people who felt the same but gave it time and now love it.

[Bluelady]

Jaxhog, every council has to send an annual statement with its council tax bill which gives a breakdown of how the money is spent. I guarantee 100% of it is spent where you live. Ours most definitely is.

[haverhill]

I thought Oxford was the least affordable place outside London?

OP, give it more time. Although I must confess I would move back to London in a heartbeat if I was richer.

[Squeegle]

St Albans is nice but it is rather smug. Think middle class high achievers, perfect families and academic children.

[harvestwheat]

Oh please tell us! We won't be offended as you've been very realistic and nice about it all.

[mellicauli]

I think you are being unrealistic when you say London doesn't have the problems you talk about. My walk to work in London (Holborn) stinks every day and my previous one (Camden) stunk and had a drug problem). The traffic is so terrible you wouldn't contemplate a cab and public transport often takes longer than walking.

Having said that, I did feel a bit like you when I moved here from London 10 years ago. Looking back, I think I was a bit depressed - commuting and working with young children and moving is a stressful business. For a while, I avoided certain ugly roads and took the scenic route. As I started to make friends and find the things I like local ally, the negative feelings disdolved away. Hope it works out for you too.

[isitburnt]

Life is easier in the city. Everything on hand and 24 hours. Having a baby in the city was easy... doctor over the road, loads of parent and baby groups, dozens of breastfeeding/family friendly eating places, could flag down a black cab and get the buggy in without collapsing, and where we live 24 hour porters who will run out and get you nappies or whatever you’ve run out of!

[QuantumGroan]

We moved from London to one of the towns mentioned above -you’ll find a large number of people who have done the same. I find it friendly, but people can be small minded, feel safe but it’s dull and I remember just how dull iafter a trip to London! We’ll stay here till the kids finish their schooling - then we might just move - dh wants to move back to London at that point, I’ll miss the good friends I have made.

[GeorgeTheHippo]

I don't think we need to know where it is, it makes no difference.

OP your DH has the right idea I think. Force yourself to remember the negatives of London, and try to find the positives of where you are. Give t three years.

[Squeegle]

I think it would be entertaining to know where it is. Not the end of the world if we don’t, but a bit tantalising.

[mocha70]

Yes we need to know where it is. I think it must be Tunbridge Wells.

[Davros]

I've never seen a tent city in London.

[isitburnt]

What is a tent city? Homeless people? I haven’t seen one in London but I have seen homeless people on the street of course. Not in tents.

[isitburnt]

Three years is too long if you think you might move back. Keep looking at up and coming areas and keep an eye on prices. There are still good deals to be had in the city.

[Annandale]

There are people living in tents and under bridges all around the margins of my city.

[Pickupthephone]

I’ve said it’s a town that’s been mentioned a few times on this thread, which narrows it down to about 5 options. I’m not going to say which one it is. Partly for the reasons I’ve already given - I don’t want to start a discussion about the merits or otherwise of this town, that’s not why I posted. And partly because I’m not sure I like the idea of my unhappiness living here being ‘entertaining’ to some posters

I’ve had lots of kind and helpful advice and perspectives without naming the town though, which is what I was hoping for, and I’m really grateful for.

[Navybabyblue]

Epsom

[Stonebake]

I thought Oxford was the least affordable place outside London?

It wouldn’t surprise me. But that doesn’t make it any less horrible. In the main it’s horrible imo. I know it well. Lovely parts obviously but they get very crowded as they’re lovely.

[PomPomBears2]

If it's St Albans, then i hear you!!! It is a DUMP!!!! We lived in the area for a bit and it was horrible!! Dirty, smelly, busy, overcrowded, overpriced. We could never never understand why it had such an amazing reputation as the Place to live!! So weird!! I still don't get it!!!

For what it's worth OP, there are other, much nicer areas outside London that are not so super super expensive and are a hell of a lot nicer than St Albans!!!

Why don't you move! Not necessarily back to London, but to somewhere where you can have a nice house, there are good schools, it's safe etc... AND it's nice and not overpriced!?

[Stonebake]

I have a really terrible relative in St Albans. Tbh I’d avoid the place based on that alone.

[Delatron]

I didn’t know that about St Albans. Friends live in Harpenden and love it. That’s not too far away.

[lostlondoner]

I understand OP! We moved out nearly 5 years ago and are still umming and arring about moving back in. There is no easy answer. Can you visit lots of other places now you know what you don't like and what you miss and see if anywhere fits that better?
We're a bit stuck as I do see why where are would be good for our kids (though they may well be v bored at teenager age). And I am worried about crime and pollution in London. But but but I'm going out of my mind with boredom here. It's dullsville. We have no family close by. My DH works all the hours under the sun so I'm often roaming around wondering how the hell it has got to this.
I do feel better than I did 5 years ago though and making some friends and knowing the area a bit more helped, as did writing a list of positives down so you can remind yourself of all the good things.
If we didn't have kids we would never have moved. I grew up on Kent but I do consider London my home. As soon as the kids are old enough I'm moving back no question....unless we've moved back before that!!
By the way @TheVeryHungryDieter does your town begin with O?!