To regret moving out of London?

[Pickupthephone]

So about 6 months ago we moved from a tiny one bed flat in a lovely (but expensive) part of south London to a house in an town in one of the Home Counties.

We wanted a proper house and garden (and we couldn’t afford one in London), we wanted to be closer to the countryside, and we wanted things like good schools and good hospitals. I actually wanted to relocate completely and move up north, but my DH didn’t want to (jobs etc) so we compromised on this place.

And we’ve got all that stuff but I miss London.

The town we’ve moved to is ‘officially’ posh and insanely expensive (cheaper than London but that’s not saying much). And it seems superficially nice when you visit it (and as it did when we were looking round) but when you get to know it, it’s such a dump. The council tax is through the roof but the council definitely aren’t doing any street cleaning - the centre of town’s dirty and always stinks. There seems to be a lot of drug use - perhaps because there’s less for young people to do - but walking home at night I feel way more threatened there than I ever did in London. There are so many homeless people. They have camps on the pavements. How is such a rich council in such a rich area not helping them?! The car to human ratio is about 10 to 1 (I guess because there’s no public transport) so the traffic’s terrible, the pollution’s terrible, parking’s terrible. And we pay thousands of pounds in season tickets for the privilege of living here.

I know I’m going to get told that I should have got to know the place better before moving, perhaps you’re right, but it was tricky. I guess I’m just looking for sympathy - has anyone else moved and regretted it?

[LakieLady]

I also wonder if you do better for your council tax in London because of the economy of scale.

Absolutely. It's much cheaper to deliver services in a densely populated area than in a rural one.

I moved here from Croydon, 27 years ago. I was astonished to find that some people were more than 20 miles from a hospital, that they had 20 libraries in the county where Croydon had 6, despite populations being comparable, 14 police stations instead of 4 or 5. The proportion of children getting free school transport is much higher, there are village schools with only 20 or 30 children and so on. The miles of road that need maintaining are massive, and only 3 of them are major trunk roads maintained at central government expense. Public transport is shite.

Public sector salaries are lower because of no London weighting, private sector salaries are much lower, but housing costs where I live now are actually higher.

Having said that, I wouldn't move back to Croydon if you paid me and we're now considering moving somewhere far more rural because it's getting so built-up and busy here.

[Daftmare]

I think it depends on your personal circs. We have lived in St Albans for 16 years and I still commute to London every day but DP works locally (hates London) and we started a family after we moved, meaning we got to know other families, our daughter is settled in school etc, I have several good local friends who are real soulmates. The one thing that drives me mad here (and it's my own fault) is that I don't drive and the bus system is a mystery. Is there a way you could get more involved in the area OP?

[Shamoo]

We moved from central London to St Albans and absolutely love it, a year and a half in. Would never go back. I don’t think it can be St Albans though, as whilst I have seen some drug issues in central St Albans, it’s not close to the level in london, there are definitely no homeless camps, and the council do an ok job. Traffic is terrible though!!!!

[Waterstonian]

It can't be Harpenden. There definitely aren't camps of homeless people on the pavements.

[Annandale]

I think you live in my city. I adore it here and always have but i recognise what you say.

It took me two years to get over leaving London, i hated where i moved to and never settled. Maybe i would have done eventually but instead i met dh, got pregnant and moved here and have been happy from day 1.

I'm going to pm you. Believe me there are good times to be had here and theres no shame in moving again in the future, you're not in prison.

[Davros]

I think 3 years is too long to give it. You will be established there but may still be unhappy

[Stonebake]

Is it Wokingham?

[Stonebake]

Oh no, you said one that’s already been mentioned. Must be Guildford then! And Oxford is mainly horrible too (sorry Oxford).

[manicinsomniac]

Well I'd give my right arm to live in Oxford, St Albans, Harpenden or Guildford.

But then I'd give both arms to live in London so I suppose I don't think you are being (very) unreasonable.

Those 4 places all seem incredible places to live compared with much of the country though. I'm sure you'll settle if you give it a chance - even if it won't ever seem as good as London.

[Bluelady]

Can I join the guessing game? I think it's Cambridge which is notorious for attracting homeless people. Council tax is high there because of the high student population and the heavy traffic is notorious. House prices are insane, you can pay £600k for a terrace now. I love it and wanted to live there for a long time, wouldn't move there if you paid me now.

[Pickupthephone]

OP I think you may well live in the same place as I do - which has been mentioned on here, and if I'm right, I do not wholly disagree with your assessment of it, but I think you're missing a lot of the positives too.

Yes the place has been mentioned on here (it isn’t Oxford though). And my DH has said similar - focus on the positives not the negatives, because focusing on the negatives is the best way to make yourself unhappy. And there are many positives including:

• easy access to lovely countryside - even though we live in the town centre we can walk out into open countryside in about 10 minutes, and we both like walking;
  
• good schools and hospital;
  
• nice house and garden;
  
• attractive main street;
  
• lots of shops and amenities right on our doorstep (going shopping’s actually easier than it was in London, and I like to do yoga and Pilates and there’s a great studio with tons of classes about 6 mins walk from our house);
  
• the place is big enough that we could probably find employment here in our respective fields if we wanted to stop commuting.
  

Having written all that out, I feel a bit ashamed of myself for whingeing so much. But I just miss London!

[Unfinishedkitchen]

I’ll bet a fiver it’s St Albans. Friends moved to the city centre and we stayed overnight. We were actually quite surprised that it had such an underbelly. We hadn’t really noticed it on day trips.

I’m under no illusion there’s an underbelly in their former very naice zone 2 neighbourhood, it just wasn’t so public and I don’t recall professional beggars near their previous place. They’ve also found commuting into London for work a pain partly becuase they both work and DC is at school in St Albans so if anything goes wrong journey wise it’s a nightmare.

They regret it but can’t afford to stump up for another stamp duty for the foreseeable.

They wish they’d rented first so they had the option to return but once they had DC they thought they should move because of gangs etc which lets face it would have been extremely unlikely to affect the DC of a middle class professional couple. They left the catchment of a outstanding school too although to be fair they moved to the catchment of an outstanding school in St Albans.

[hibbledibble]

Tent cities exist in central London too. We have plenty near me in zone 2.

I'm curious as to where you live, but think yabu for thinking it is worse than London.

Perhaps it's because my area of London is far from posh, but the council tax here is also through the roof, streets stink and resemble an open dump, public services are non-existant, and homelessness is rife. Crime is also insane. Not just stabbings but shootings.

[GoPack]

I agree about Oxford/Oxfordshire. I think it’s living on hype from years ago. We found it depressing due to the lack of services, polluted (Oxford about the same as London for pollution, I was amazed when I saw the figures) and the drug and alcohol problem was in your face pretty much everyday - drunks in the street, needles in the park, being offered pills openly in the street for no reason other than apparently I was sitting on the (well known to everyone except me) “drugs bench”.

[Sarcelle]

I was born in central London (in Covent Garden) and moved to the burbs about 10 years ago. For quality of life reasons. It was a bit too full on living there and I don’t regret moving as I still have fast access to the centre of town. But I want to move much further out - even up north (Yorkshire) where my DH is from. Everything changes but London is a shithole to me these days, even the nicer areas. Give yourself time to adjust. You might be missing stuff that is rapidly changing and not how you remembered it anyway.

[Panicmode1]

Why are you being so coy about where it is OP? Perhaps if you said where it is, or even which county, people who live nearby could provide advice on 'hidden gems' or interesting groups etc which may help to integrate you into your new community and find some positives!

[happypoobum]

It certainly isn't Brighton as OP said no public transport and Brighton has amazing public transport. She also said there was nothing to do!!

I reckon it's Guildford.

OP I think you have just moved to the wrong place. Give it a while (3 years sounds too long) and if you don't like it move somewhere that is affordable but actually has transport systems and things to do (like Brighton & Hove!)

[Pickupthephone]

I'm curious as to where you live, but think yabu for thinking it is worse than London.

Perhaps it's because my area of London is far from posh, but the council tax here is also through the roof, streets stink and resemble an open dump, public services are non-existant, and homelessness is rife. Crime is also insane. Not just stabbings but shootings.

That raises another fair point, which is that it’s easy to look back with rose tinted spectacles. We did live in a lovely area of south London, but you’ve reminded me that we decided to move after a man was stabbed to death for his watch one street over, and another one was beaten to death outside a nearby pub. In the space of a month.

That hasn’t, to my knowledge, happened in this town.

[Squeegle]

Give us a clue OP- is it officially a town or a city?

[Pickupthephone]

Also, not intending to drip feed, but something else that’s potentially relevant is that this is my first time living in a ‘town’. I grew up near York (which I loved), went to uni in Edinburgh (which I loved), and then moved to London (which I loved). My DH reckons that the things I don’t like are features of large towns up and down the country and that I just need to adjust to this kind of living.

[DisrespectfulAdultFemale]

I moved out of London last year and regretted it. I'm moving back later this month and can't wait.

Yes, my house will be smaller but it's worth it.

[Storm4star]

I did the opposite and moved from Harpenden to London! (I’m in social housing though so I just exchanged properties). The thing is with most of these towns and villages, you may get a nice high street, some countryside etc. But nowadays there are also miles and miles of estates all the way around. Which have the same problems as estates in London.

In Harpenden I had a horrible house, I didn’t feel safe letting my kids walk home alone at night. Just before we moved there had been several reports of sex attacks near my DDs school. The public transport was terrible. I really didn’t like it.

We now have a lovely house in a nice area. The tube station is 2 minutes away so my kids were able to go out all over the place and I knew they could get home safe. Options for employment are so much better without a long commute. Sometimes I do itchy feet and wonder about moving again but nowhere else could give me what I have here.

[AJPTaylor]

Do you have dc/school age dc? If the answer is not yet then you are yet to benefit from the real reason you moved.
We moved last year with our youngest dd. We picked the house based on secondary school. Its only this week with looking at secondary schools/ applications that we were proved right in our decision.
In the meantime, if you are in one of those towns, get out in the countryside or jump on a train to london!
One life and all that

[windygallows]

Op I feel your pain. I’m in Oxfordshire. It’s pretty but actually oxford itself is very run down in bits. The key thing that I find hard is a complete lack of vibe. No vibe. No soul. And the people I found to be quite cold.

I’ve come to the conclusion that these things can’t be changed so I either have to accept it or move on. People are pretty resilient and can used to pretty much anything. The question is whether you want to...

[Jaxhog]

@Nightwatch999 I can assure you we aren't getting any of it either! We collect tons of money in rates etc. and see less than 1% of it.