To regret moving out of London?

[Pickupthephone]

So about 6 months ago we moved from a tiny one bed flat in a lovely (but expensive) part of south London to a house in an town in one of the Home Counties.

We wanted a proper house and garden (and we couldn’t afford one in London), we wanted to be closer to the countryside, and we wanted things like good schools and good hospitals. I actually wanted to relocate completely and move up north, but my DH didn’t want to (jobs etc) so we compromised on this place.

And we’ve got all that stuff but I miss London.

The town we’ve moved to is ‘officially’ posh and insanely expensive (cheaper than London but that’s not saying much). And it seems superficially nice when you visit it (and as it did when we were looking round) but when you get to know it, it’s such a dump. The council tax is through the roof but the council definitely aren’t doing any street cleaning - the centre of town’s dirty and always stinks. There seems to be a lot of drug use - perhaps because there’s less for young people to do - but walking home at night I feel way more threatened there than I ever did in London. There are so many homeless people. They have camps on the pavements. How is such a rich council in such a rich area not helping them?! The car to human ratio is about 10 to 1 (I guess because there’s no public transport) so the traffic’s terrible, the pollution’s terrible, parking’s terrible. And we pay thousands of pounds in season tickets for the privilege of living here.

I know I’m going to get told that I should have got to know the place better before moving, perhaps you’re right, but it was tricky. I guess I’m just looking for sympathy - has anyone else moved and regretted it?

I haven’t said where it is because I don’t want to cause offence to other people who live here - it’s home to thousands of people after all - or start a debate about the merits of this town in particular. But it is one of the places mentioned upthread.

To the people who said give it time, you’re right - 6 months is no time and it does take ages to adjust to a new place. And as we can’t afford to move again (stamp duty!), giving it time is my only choice anyway.

Also as I said in my OP, we’ve got everything we moved here for - a house, a garden, access to countryside, excellent state schools. I suppose I’m surprised to find we’ve got the stuff we moved for, but it’s come with drawbacks I didn’t expect, and I still miss London so much in spite of having all the stuff we moved for - if that makes sense. I’m also surprised to find that a place can seem superficially nice when you visit but actually have a lot of problems just under the surface.

I’m glad to hear from people who’ve hated a place at first and learned to love it. Hopefully that’s what will happen for me.

I think the lesson is that the grass isn’t always greener!

Tunbridge Wells.

Loving the idea that council tax from the SE is spent in the North.

Pmsl.

My very first thought was St Albans. Funny that so many others have guessed the same!

Sympathies, OP. I too love London but although I do still miss it in many ways, I’m glad to have the other things we moved out for (space, cleaner air, financial security etc)

Always buy in the best area you can afford

I think st Albans too. So pretty to visit for a day or two, but after you've lived there for about 6 months and have been stuck in traffic for most of that time, it wears thin.
If it is St Albans, there are some lovely lovely towns within half hour of there, I'd check them out.

We moved out of London 30 years ago. Never regretted it. We moved a long way away though to Cornwall. London is fine to visit as we still have family there. We couldn't live there though. It is so busy and just seems like a rat race. Give me the slower pace of the West Country every time.

Ahh OP, I totally understand. I felt the same for a long time and sometimes still do. I left London in late 2015 and only this year do I feel more settled. I'd go back in a heartbeat if I could afford it but I can't, so that's that really.

This is a worry for me, we've been looking to move out of London to, looked at meany areas but I just can't bring myself to do it, I'm a born and bred Londoner too. I have the same worry that I'll regret it.
Hope you get use to it soon x

@Jaxhog i can 100% assure you that massive amounts of council funding is NOT spent on Northern Councils. In fact everyone has had their budget slashed to the bone. The money is all kept down South sweeting the Tory voters.

Live in a quite nice bit of the north but definitely no evidence of London Council tax being spent here. Plenty of home grown druggies, unfortunately.

I find it weird that people are saying st albans. I have never lived there but when I have visited I thought it seemed lovely, and until recently it was the most expensive p[lace to live outside Londond ( Cambridge now owns that title)

If it's that you are missing a city then I agree you just need time to adjust but if it's the particular town you are not sure about you aren't stuck there for life, spend time visiting local places and get a feel for areas with a view to moving somewhere else in future. No point in being unhappy somewhere.

Perhaps you have accidentally bought a house in a more deprived area of the town and could move within the town?

I lasted 4 years and moved back. We lived zone 2 and now just outside zone 6 but trains are quick in and I’m close to areas I know really well.

We really love where we live and I grew up about 20mins away (zone 4). I loved growing up in London, especially as a teen and having the freedom of the city. I think DD will love it too as she’s like me.

Where we were though was a town. I would have preferred more countryside as I like my privacy. I found the neighbours were nosy and very judgy. I also had a few racist encounters. My parents live rurally and I’ve never had anything like that when staying with them (periods when I lived there). Felt so isolated in that town too.

6 months is no time. But if you do still feel like this in a few years (and obvs wait and see what Brexit has in store) I recommend looking on the outskirts at areas. There might be someone you’ve never heard or thought of that might click.

PS I know some will say I’m not really living in London but I can get oyster reader buses 24/7 and sushi on just eat 😂 All things that were impossible at the old place. Plus I can see my friends more than once every 6 months and it doesn’t cost me £20 just to get there.

I'm not sure that you ever really get over not living in London, if you liked it, but you feel the loss less as time passes. I've moved back to my home country and I've settled really well but I went back to London last year just for a short visit and it refreshed my memory of all the things that I missed about living there. I came back home wishing that I still lived in London, but over a year later I've mostly forgotten again.

i left london when i was 18 was gutted but got used to living in essex eventually

i wold never move back now

You will probably grow to like it more the longer you are there. 6 months to 2 years is probably the worst time after a move - you've got over all the novelty of somewhere new but haven't built up the connections that make a place feel like home.

I always like the look of bigger houses out of the city, but I know myself well by now. What I really want day to day is access to lots of cultural services, easy car free travel, and a short commute. I'll buy a place out of the city when I can afford a weekend home.

If you still find yourself hating it in 4 years time you can move back - house price falls after Brexit will make it easy (look for the silver lining).

I moved out of a flat in a ‘dodgy’ part of London to a house in the country.

Was incredibly bored. Gave it two years then moved back...

To a flat in the most central part of London you can get.

If it’s not for you then there’s no shame in moving back OP. But do give it a chance just in case.

Doesn't sound like St Albans to me..there's no noticeable drug/homesless problem here. And she said she moved for (among other things) the hospitals but there's no hospital here either.

I am considering moving from a city (not London) to a "seaside town". I am a bit nervous about doing it as I am a SP. I am thinking of renting in my chosen area for a while to see how I like the town.

I am not sure if this is wise but it is all I can think of as being relatively easy to change back if I don't like it.

Four years ago, we sold a tiny London flat and moved to rural Sweden. I have a massive mortgage free house with a barn and incredible views but I am living in social Chernobyl. I love the house, I just wish it was in London. Worst decision, I ever made.

It won’t be Brighton - yes, lots of drugs and homeless but great public transport.....

I agree 6 months isn't long enough and it's easy to put the rose tinted glasses on. That said, is moving an option? Can you afford to move closer in to central London? We live in zone 4 which I think is a good compromise as it feels like London IYKWIM, but without the hoards of people. Mind you, that's comparative as my sister thinks it's manic compared to her little surrey village. It would probably be hell to a die hard zone 1 London er but we love it.

Prices are definitley stagnant at least, so you may get away with a cheeky offer..

Orpington is lovely