To think this “hilarious” card is actually depressing?

[Decanter]

lovelayladesigns.co.uk/Cards/Anniversary_Cards/up-the-bum.html

I have 2 DDs and hate how this kind of crap is being normalised. Fucking hilarious Layla

missmoz hark at me for popping up every now and then on the thread that I started, to let posters know I agree with them and appreciate their views.

I don't wear heels. I can count on one hand the number of times i have worn heels in my 30 years. They hurt, they get stuck in stupid places & they make me feel unstable. The few times i have worn them was because i stupidly fell in love with the designs on them & figured 'what the hell'
Have a wedding coming up & i don't give a flying fig who gets their knickers in a bundle because i'm shock horror wearing flats.

I don't get the link between heels anal? Heels I love and find pretty but they aren't pleasurable enough to endure pain. Anal I find pleasure in So endure it. If I didn't find anal pleasurable I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't expect anyone who doesn't find pleasure in it to endure it!

CiderBrains i took it as an example of women wearing them because society dictates or pressures them into doing so rather than women feeling comfortable in them

I don't know because I'm a law into my own self according to most.. but I have never done anything, including wearing heals, to conform to anything. I've always done my own thing and don't tend to do anything I don't want to do.,

This happened to me many years ago by a boy I liked, we had been dating a while, one night he invited me back to his place and basically analy raped me. Went to work next day to find he had sent me an enormous bunch of roses. I was just in shock. To this day I don't know what I did wrong to have this happen. The idiot is now a well known American comedian.

then that is your choice to feel pressure. I never felt pressure, even as a teen, about anything sexual or drugs related.

You must, surely, realise that this is highly unusual. And if you don't, then the lack of empathy sort of explains a lot.

And your 'choice' to feel pressure...? I actually don't even know how to respond to that.

Absolutely awful. Disgusting message to have on a card.

@Mandarine

The only hilarious joke is that people who are into anal perceive themselves to be so much more open-minded and having superior sex lives to those who don’t. confused What’s is actually so open-minded about anal, as opposed to the multitude of other things people may or may not enjoy? Utter nonsense - anal between heterosexual couples sounds like a gimmick and as boring as shit to me. Just my opinion, but there it is. If you’re into anal, then good for you, but I’m not and am quite certain I have nothing to prove there.

Yeah this in a nutshell. ^

The fact that people who seem to love anal so much, are coming on here with silly LOL-ing smilies, and 'this thread is hilarious' and 'some people are batshit!' and 'how narrow minded and prudish you are!' type comments, shows the arrogance and obnoxiousness of some people who have regular anal sex.

It reminds me of people who are swingers; and like to fuck other people in front of their husband or wife. I think swinging is actually extremely vile, (not to mention an odd thing to do if you are in love with your partner.)

But people who DO it, seem to think they have a much more exciting sex life than people who have sex ONLY with their partner. Same with the anal bunch; they do exude this attitude that says 'my sex life is more adventurous/exciting/enjoyable than yours, because I like to have men shove their willy in my bumhole.'

Just bore off. You know NOTHING about my sex life.

@BlanceM

I think that something as natural, pleasurable and spontaneous as sex, shouldn't need all the 'warming up, tools, additional lube' etc etc required to do anal 'properly'. It is instantly unappealing.

This too. ^ What a drag, having to slather yourself in K.Y. jelly, and get yourself 'prepared' with the 'tools' you need, just to enable you to tolerate an erect penis in your bumhole.

@TheDowagerCuntess

I just think that's there's this message that anal is actually really great, if only you'd give it a chance.

And actually, it's not just not great, it's downright painful - no matter what - for a significant number of women.

There's an expectation of it now amongst many men, as BlancheM says.

And the upshot is that many young women are being pressured into doing something many of them don't feel able to say no to.

This thread is an example of this - 'you're not doing it right', 'if you just do X, Y and/or Z, it's great', 'with the right man, it can be fabulous', yada, yada.

Exactly this too! 'Ooooooh, but you would enjoy it - if only you were better at sex, and adventurous enough to do it PROPERLY. Like meeeeeeeeee.....'

Just bore off!

Also quite shocked at the comment that women CHOOSE to feel pressurised. Words fail me.

The 'I feel quite sad people are missing out on bum sex' is actually hilarious.

Personally i don't give a stuff what your preference is. Can't tell you if i think you're missing out either. I just wish people would stop trying to dictate what others choose to do

Men want to have anal sex with their wife/girlfriend because it's tighter. I am not sure young women dream of anal sex...I doubt any suggest it to a partner. I think it's men who first suggest it.
I may be wrong.

Actually Lavendar I did say I wasn't talking explicitly about anal sex.
I did say however that there are a lot of things out there that people might like if they got rid of their judgmental attitudes.

I really don't give a shit what you do in bed, but I am fed up of the homophobia and disrespect for people who do actually like anal sex on this thread.

Oh and the arrogance and obnoxiousness of some people who have regular anal sex is pretty unfounded as I don't actually!

Like I said, if you like it do it, if you don't, don't.

But yes, if all you do is have PIV vanilla sex I think you're missing out on some great stuff, so it's not me with the sad face.

All the people saying that anal sex is unnatural and dangerous and that they’d be mortified if their teenage daughter had anal sex, what about if your son came out as gay? Are you saying anal sex is wrong between two men or only between a man and a woman?

Instead of writing letters to small company about how you are disgusted with a card featuring old saying, write a letter to your daughters if you are that worried about a card having such an effect.

Write to them how you know they are amazing and strong.
How much you love them and cherish them.
How they should always say no to something they feel uncomfortable with.
How life can be hard and you sometimes have to do things you don't want to but sex or any part of it is something they can say no to amongst other things.
How they can be independent or dependent because it is their choice, noone else's.
How they can be whatever they want to from a cleaner to a STEM postgrad and they can be amazing and respected in either.
How they should not force people into what they are uncomfortable with.

And if you have son's write exactly the same thing to them.

Don't blame small company with rude cards for sex pressure. Don't blame porn. I grew up well before porn sites and we were still curious about these things (and others). I tried anal, but I am not a fan. I have a friend (female) who is. So what. I got kinks she doesn't enjoy. And vice versa.

Don't try to "sanitise" the world.
Build strong people to deal with real world.

and that they’d be mortified if their teenage daughter had anal sex

Who's said that?

I've said I'd be worried if my teenage DD was being pressured into doing something she found unpleasant or painful.

Anal sex is not wrong. It's absolutely fine and normal between consenting adults.

But it can be painful and unpleasant if not done correctly - and even when done correctly - for many. Something some people don't seem to understand, in their rush to say how great it is.

It doesn't help to conflate two separate issues.

It really is cool girl central here!

I don't care what informed enthusiastically consenting adults do in private. I do care abour any sort of sex that can be painful and damaging being presented to the young and inexperienced as an expected part of an active sex life-whether that is sex without a condom, anal sex, choking-the list is endless.

I remember people saying up the bum, no harm done at school. It's childish and I hate the trend for crude cards like this and the one I've seen for new mothers - 'I'm sorry for your vagina' type thing - seriously wtf? I'd be raging if I got that.

FWIW though I do think anal sex, if both partners want it and is done gently and with love can be a bonding experience. It can also be brutal, painful and degrading. Either way it doesn't belong on a greetings card.

"Calling women who enjoy sex "cool girls" is so demeaning and heteronormative."
I agree. That would would be a very silly thing to do.

This thread has literally nothing to do with teenagers. Why people are trying to make a thread about consenting sexual practices between adults into a discussion about coercive pressure on young girls is beyond me. They are two entirely separate subjects and it's dangerous to conflate the two.

How can you think the wider discussion has nothing to do with teenagers...?

Anal sex has, relatively recently, become much more normalised and mainstream. It's clearly been around forever, but it's become more mainstream fairly recently.

Many inexperience boys/men don't realise what's involved in ensuring the experience is pleasurable - nay: endurable - for women.

There is some concern, by some, around this.

You should see what Paperchase have in stock. I remember seeing a "you make my fanny feel funny" card not so long ago.

I wouldn't buy one personally but I think it's funny. I think some people need to lighten - must people be offended by everything? That card is clearly referring to no risk of pregnancy, nothing to do with rape. I don't understand why anyone would think that?!

Also in reference to anal sex, meh, each to their own I suppose. Not something I do regularly myself but i'm not fussed by what floats other people's boat. Don't knock it until you try it is all i'm sayin