To think this “hilarious” card is actually depressing?

[Decanter]

lovelayladesigns.co.uk/Cards/Anniversary_Cards/up-the-bum.html

I have 2 DDs and hate how this kind of crap is being normalised. Fucking hilarious Layla

Feeling concern about youngsters being pressured into anything they do not feel comfortable doing is fine. But deciding that consensual anal sex is disgusting etc is completely different.

It's completely beyond me why anyone would attempt to convince other people one way or the other. Do what pleases you and your partner and let everyone else do the same.

Urgh. Homosexual couples are just as likely or unlikely to engage in anal sex as any other type of couple.
Hetero anal sex has been a norm so hundreds and hundreds of years- in eras and countries where women didn't have/don't have bodily autonomy and men use(d) them as they wish. Standard practice to avoid more kids and for even worse reasons I'd rather not get into.
However in our culture, modern day society today it's definitely connected to porn. It has to be. I'm 31 and have dated on/off, sometimes online over the years and men expect it now. They never used to expect it. Sometimes try their luck or hint at it, but now there's the attitude that it's part and parcel, the only problem is you if you're not up for it. I've even had men 'check' I'm into anal before even agreeing to a date (instant block).
I think that something as natural, pleasurable and spontaneous as sex, shouldn't need all the 'warming up, tools, additional lube' ect ect required to do anal 'properly'. It is instantly unappealing.
I'm only forming my opinions now. Being of my generation, I was brought up with advice and instructions on problem pages in my teenage magazines, on how to best have anal sex so I guess I thought there was something weird about me for not loving it^^ or finding it very appealing. For that reason I have gone along with it in the past when I wouldn't now.

The two are also not mutually exclusive. Pretty sure the posters who have said they enjoy anal would also happily state they are against forced/coerced anal sex happening to anybody. The issue isn't simply anal sex. The issue should be people being wankers & thinking they can dictate or push people into things they aren't comfortable doing

Yes justanotherlurker

Disappointing but hey ho. That's MN.

I have no problem whatsoever with people who say "it's not for me, I don't like it, I don't like the idea of it".

What I do have a bit of problem with is shaming people who do enjoy it? Saying it's wrong. Saying that's not what it's biologically designed for.

It's not wrong.

Mouths weren't designed to stick a dick in either so biologically speaking blowjobs are wrong.

So=for*

I am assuming that most people would not like their teenage dd’s first experience of anal sex to be with a boy who only knew about it from porn, and, quite understandably, assumes that it was no different in terms of technique from PIV sex?

I just think that's there's this message that anal is actually really great, if only you'd give it a chance.

And actually, it's not just not great, it's downright painful - no matter what - for a significant number of women.

There's an expectation of it now amongst many men, as @BlancheM says.

And the upshot is that many young women are being pressured into doing something many of them don't feel able to say no to.

This thread is an example of this - 'you're not doing it right', 'if you just do X, Y and/or Z, it's great', 'with the right man, it can be fabulous', yada, yada.

And that's all well and good for those of us confident enough to say, no, actually it's not for me. Not so great for those who who don't feel able to articulate it.

Lavender no, when it's described as PIV sex I don't Better to ask though eh?

* ...and, quite understandably, assumes that it was no different in terms of technique from PIV sex?*

Yes, this is at the heart of it.

You've got men (boys, often) expecting it, combined with absolutely no knowledge of what's needed to make it even bearable (let alone enjoyable) for women.

Main point is; if you don't enjoy anal
Sex then that's fine. But don't judge those who do....

Dowager, Lavendar, Blanche and Bertrand. Hear hear to all of you. I’d be despairing about this thread by now if not for you all.

I can't believe everyone's getting this arsey over this card I'll see myself out

I just don't like it when social norms and my norms are out of kilter as then I feel pressure or am pressured to comply with social norms even if they make me feel uncomfortable or hurt. It's like high heel shoes all over again. They bloody hurt but I fell so frumpy in a dress with flats and everyone else is wearing them so I really stand out as being frumpy. And everyone else seems to love heels and find them really comfy.

This is so basic.

YANBU

I'd like to think that when my DD decides to give any form of sex a go she trusts me enough to have a conversation - or we have already had one. Apparently this is unusual which is really bloody sad! Makes me appreciate more than ever that my mum was so approachable about everything

Grass then that is your choice to feel pressure. I never felt pressure, even as a teen, about anything sexual or drugs related.

The only hillarious joke is that people who are into anal perceive themselves to be so much more open-minded and having superior sex lives to those who don’t. What’s is actually so open-minded about anal, as opposed to the multitude of other things people may or may not enjoy? Utter nonsense - anal between heterosexual couples sounds like a gimmick and as boring as shit to me. Just my opinion, but there it is. If you’re into anal, then good for you, but I’m not and am quite certain I have nothing to prove there.

Man I don't feel superior to anyone having anal. I was married for 10 years and never had anal
With him and never felt inadequate. Now I enjoy it with my dp and couldn't care less if others don't. It really Is each to their own!

Decanter Ok we get it you don't like anal sex...despair for anyone that does.

Of course we want to protect teenage girls from negative sexual experiences with clueless boys, but that comes from better sex education not banning jokey references to anal sex on cards.

Ciderbrains - but do you wear heels?

I have worn heals but not to the point they were uncomfortable. Now I couldn't give two hoots and wears flats.

I wore heels I loved pretty shoes, not because anyone pressured me to..

Why are heels pretty?

I love shoes,they are gorgeous! But if they hurt I won't wear them.,