Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this “hilarious” card is actually depressing?

698 replies

Decanter · 05/10/2018 00:55

lovelayladesigns.co.uk/Cards/Anniversary_Cards/up-the-bum.html

I have 2 DDs and hate how this kind of crap is being normalised. Fucking hilarious Layla Hmm

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/10/2018 11:11

“And no there is not an epidemic of nappy-wearing anally prolapsed teenage girls either.”

There is, however, an increase in teenage girls with injuries caused by anal penetration. And teenage girls reporting that teenage boys are regarding it as a “given”.

BonfiresOfInsanity · 05/10/2018 11:11

I find the deliberate avoidance of acknowledging that anal sex has become 'mainstream' due to porn incredibly disingenuous. Girls / young women are being coerced into it and being told it's normal by boys /men because they want to do what they've seen online. This is NOT to say that people haven't been having anal sex for millennia but rather that it is being pushed upon women to do as standard sex now. I think I can confidently say that a majority of women do not enjoy either the idea or the action of anal sex, some of course will and there's nothing wrong with that. There is, however, something very wrong with making girls feel like they are NOT normal or prudish because they don't want to do it.

I am in my late 40s and have had many sexual partners before marrying at 30 and can hand on heart say I was never once asked for anal sex. I bet the same cannot be said of most women in their 20s now.

Lweji · 05/10/2018 11:14

anal sex is more dangerous than vaginal sex.

Really? Because I would imagine more women have died from long term results of unprotected vaginal sex than anal.

FFS.
One, we were talking about STDs.
Secondly, if you actually compare rates, can you still say that?
Thirdly, do you have the data for it? :)

Padparadscha · 05/10/2018 11:22

Thirdly, do you have the data for it?

Why have data on this thread when we can all just throw around ignorant and bigoted comments to justify our views?

No one has denied that anal sex can possibly cause more injuries if not done carefully. It’s not the point though, just because it could cause more injuries doesn’t mean that consenting adults shouldn’t do it.

Quartz2208 · 05/10/2018 11:23

Surely is the do no harm bit that is the issue - that bit makes it sound coercive. Add it onto the end of anything and it sounds wrong rather than funny:

just a sip it wont do you any harm
just a puff it wont do you any harm
just a sniff it wont do you any harm

In a consensual relationship there is nothing wrong with anal sex at all - the problem is adding the do no harm bit takes it from being consensual to coercive. That is the bit that isnt funny and is feeding into the idea that boys are expecting it as a given.

KathDayKnight50 · 05/10/2018 11:26

That phrase always reminds me of this:

"Medical students must take the Hippocratic Oath. And one of the promises within that oath is “first, do no harm” (or “primum non nocere,” the Latin translation from the original Greek.)"

www.health.harvard.edu/blog/first-do-no-harm-201510138421

LikeIcare · 05/10/2018 11:28

As mentioned several times, it's an old dirty rhyme that's been around for decades.

KathDayKnight50 · 05/10/2018 11:29

One up the bum. Let's have some fun

Would that be better?

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2018 11:31

There is no issue with any sex act between consenting adults who have exchanged informed consent. However, when 2 clicks on a mobile phone can take you to videos of women being penetrated anally without condoms, preparation or foreplay, I remain unconvinced that most teenage girls will be able to offer informed consent to anal sex.

ProfessorMoody · 05/10/2018 11:33

Whoever runs this company won't give a shit. I posted something before on one of their other cards that was more than slightly rapey. My comments were deleted, I was blocked from the page and I received an abusive message.

Padparadscha · 05/10/2018 11:35

I remain unconvinced that most teenage girls will be able to offer informed consent to anal sex.

Oh you’re quite right there. Let’s just make anal sex illegal again because apparently we can’t educate teenage girls, they’re all too stupid to look out for their own welfare and teenage boys want to give them a slack arse and take pictures of it.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 05/10/2018 11:36

I find the deliberate avoidance of acknowledging that anal sex has become 'mainstream' due to porn incredibly disingenuous

Yes. I agree.
But you say it right there.
It's due to porn.
Not a greeting card.

Lweji · 05/10/2018 11:40

No one has denied that anal sex can possibly cause more injuries if not done carefully. It’s not the point though, just because it could cause more injuries doesn’t mean that consenting adults shouldn’t do it.

Look, my posts about the risks of anal sex were because someone denied that anal sex carried risks, essentially. As if it was the same as having vaginal sex, which isn't.
Even wearing condoms and lube and being careful, it is a part of the body that is not ready for sex.
It may not be dissimilar to people who have constipation and always pass hard thick stools, but neither is "healthy". Whereas vaginas are designed for penetration by penises.

Pointing out that anal sex carries consequences that are worse or not suffered by vaginal sex, has no bearing at all on what consenting adults could or should do.
However, fully consenting adults should be aware of the risks. Otherwise, is it really consenting? Wink

CaMePlaitPas · 05/10/2018 11:40

Well it's not to my taste but I'm sure there are people out there who would find it funny. I don't know, maybe.

FruitofAutumn · 05/10/2018 11:42

I wouldn't even have thought it to be about sex.
'up the bum, no harm done' is more like a 'so what' 'move on' ' never mind' 'meh' kind of meaning.

HeckyPeck · 05/10/2018 11:42

Thirdly, do you have the data for it?

The data is quite tricky to find as I can’t see that anywhere records anal sex related deaths. Here’s what I could find:

Yearly maternal deaths (relating to vaginal sex) = 302,950

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maternal_death

Cervical cancer deaths caused by HPV infection: 266,000

www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/sexually-transmitted-infections-(stis)

HPV is most commonly spread through vaginal and anal sex, but can’t find stats as to which causes it most.

www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/hpv

AIDS related deaths in 2016 = 1 million

www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/overview/data-and-trends/global-statistics

70% of people living with AIDS are living in Africa and the vast majority contracted it through either PIV sex or being passed on from mother to child.

Lweji · 05/10/2018 11:43

I remain unconvinced that most teenage girls will be able to offer informed consent to anal sex.

Oh you’re quite right there. Let’s just make anal sex illegal again because apparently we can’t educate teenage girls, they’re all too stupid to look out for their own welfare and teenage boys want to give them a slack arse and take pictures of it.

Clearly, it's not teenage girls that are too stupid. I take the post as meaning that most teenage girls ATM cannot offer fully informed consent, because they are not fully aware of the risks.

KathDayKnight50 · 05/10/2018 11:46

I take the post as meaning that most teenage girls ATM cannot offer fully informed consent, because they are not fully aware of the risks

What about teenage gay boys? The card in question appears to be gender-neutral.

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2018 11:46

“Oh you’re quite right there. Let’s just make anal sex illegal again because apparently we can’t educate teenage girls, they’re all too stupid to look out for their own welfare and teenage boys want to give them a slack arse and take pictures of it.”

Yes, because when I said “Obviously any sort of sex between informed consenting adults is fine”, what I meant was “let’s make anal sex illegal”. Thanks for pointing that out.

Lweji · 05/10/2018 11:53

What about teenage gay boys? The card in question appears to be gender-neutral.

You realise that the comment you questioned was in relation to previous posts that only mentioned girls?
Fine, gay boys too... for the sake of equal opportunities.

Busybusybust · 05/10/2018 11:55

It's just horrible.

DistanceCall · 05/10/2018 11:55

Anal sex is due to porn.

Apparently, it's popular among Mormon and Evangelican teens in the US for rather twisted reasons (it preserves the girl's "virginity". Seriously),

DistanceCall · 05/10/2018 11:57

But in any case, what does the OP and the people who are so alarmed by anal sex among teenagers want? Banning references to anal sex in popular culture altogether?

Not only would that be illegal, it would be quite daft.

KathDayKnight50 · 05/10/2018 11:57

You realise that the comment you questioned was in relation to previous posts that only mentioned girls?

Yes, I noticed that. I didn't understand why informed consent and sex education did not apply to boys too, hence my comment.

Fine, gay boys too... for the sake of equal opportunities

I see no reason why not.

Padparadscha · 05/10/2018 11:57

You realise that the comment you questioned was in relation to previous posts that only mentioned girls?

In fairness, that’s because I was replying to Bertrand who seems to be obsessed with the idea that teenage girls need to be wrapped up in cotton wool from the moment they reach puberty, because all boys (probably even the gay ones) all want to sexually assault them and take pictures of it.