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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is obsessed with NDN’s cat

227 replies

Crazycatmanhelp · 02/10/2018 08:12

Our neighbour’s cat has started pooing in our garden. We’re not really sure why as we’ve lived here for 2 1/2 years and it’s only started doing it in the last few months. I find it irritating but as someone who grew up with cats accept its par for the course.

Anyway my DH has become obsessed with stopping this cat from pooing in the garden. He stares at the garden waiting for the cat to make an appearance so he can run out and chase it off. He’s bought a high pitched cat deterrent thing and sprayed lemon juice on the grass, neither of which work. I caught him hammering nails into the fence the other day so the cat would injure itself when jumping up which I made him take down. He’s made himself late for work waiting for the cat so be can scare it. He talks about it every day, calls me from work to ask for updates on the cat (I’m in Mat leave).

It sounds ridiculous but his obsession with this cat is really getting me down. He is otherwise a wonderful husband and father. But I hate this nasty streak he’s showing. The glee on his face when he terrifies this poor cat is unpleasant. He’s even talked jokingly about how he’d love it to accidentally get run over by a car.

I’ve tried talking to him about it but he says he doesn’t want poo in the garden for the DC to potentially step in which I understand but this behaviour still isn’t normal surely?

AIBU to be annoyed by his behaviour? What do I do?!

OP posts:
MummatoaMunchin · 07/10/2018 21:40

I have an ongoing war with a feral (it has no collar so i am assuming it is) cat at the moment.
When it was hot i left the back doors (which are in our kitchen) open, this cat would come in and climb all over the kitchen sides. I am allergic so it was about germs and any hair it left around, that annoyed me.

Then it started trying to get stuff out of my bin. And knocking it over. And spreading rubbish everywhere.
Then it started pooing in the garden.
So then i got really annoyed with it and jokingly to my friends (one of whom is a vet) threatened to beat it with a broom (i would never do it! Fyi!) she suggested throwing water over it which i did and it went away yey!

Then a few weeks later it was at my back door meowing, it had never done that before so i was a bit concerned. It ran away when i came to the door but as it was one of the hottest days i left it some water (just incase that was what was wrong)

Well fuck me i gave an inch and it took a mile and the cycle started again. And it started sitting in my garden staring at me as if to say you showed your kind side im not scared of you! Cats are cocky fuckers!

And i am well aware im nuts 🙈😁😇

WomblesAreCommon · 08/10/2018 00:03

My cat doesn’t have a collar because they’re unsafe, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re feral.

Wearywithteens · 08/10/2018 00:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

overnightangel · 08/10/2018 06:17

@Wearywithteens songrats on being a sociopath

Mandarine · 08/10/2018 08:13

Oh fgs what a tosser.

Tell him that domestic cats, like all species of cat, are territorial by nature and that’s that.

Has it occurred to him to go next door and actually talk to the cat’s owners if it’s bothering him that much?

You can buy a roller for the top of a fence that stops the cat getting over. Or an angled fence top. Cats will not climb upside down. Look online for a solution.

If he won’t go next door, please go and talk to your neighbours yourself. I’m sure they will take some action if they think their cat is at risk of harm from your DH.

Turn that high pitched thing off because it affects the birds and squirrels too, not just cats.

In the meantime, just turn the hose on him if he’s standing in the garden waiting for the cat. What nonsense.

MummatoaMunchin · 08/10/2018 08:47

@WomblesAreCommon i didnt realise that! I did think it looked too healthy to be feral

ferrier · 08/10/2018 08:58

Yup. No collars here either.

A cat that has been properly reared will bury its poos. Cats that get taken away from their mother too early or have a feral mother may not. I have never seen any of my cat's poos even though I see them doing it in my flower beds. Very occasionally I dig one up when I'm weeding!

straightjeans · 08/10/2018 09:17

It's irresponsible to have an outdoor cat with no collar. Breakaway collars exist. There is no excuse. When your cat ends up taken in by another family who assume it to be stray, or hit by a car and can't be identified that's on you.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 08/10/2018 10:26

It's irresponsible to have an outdoor cat with no collar. Breakaway collars exist. There is no excuse. When your cat ends up taken in by another family who assume it to be stray, or hit by a car and can't be identified that's on you.

Don’t be ridiculous. I take it you’ve never seen a cat injured by their own collar before. Breakaway collars don’t always work, or work as quickly as they should.

The onus is on other people to find out if a cat is owned before they adopt it.

BlankTimes · 08/10/2018 10:36

can't be identified

No collars but all mine are chipped.
www.vets4pets.com/pet-health-advice/cat-advice/microchipping-your-cat/

straightjeans · 08/10/2018 14:05

Not everyone bothers taking pets to the vet/shelter to check for microchips. They will put up a free ad, or a couple of posters and if you miss it then oh well.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 08/10/2018 18:32

straightjeans They can do that even if they have a collar. Why so nasty? One of mine has a collar and the other doesn’t. He never keep some on so I stopped buying replacements. Both chipped though and don’t go outside so I guess that helps.

WomblesAreCommon · 08/10/2018 19:25

It's irresponsible to have an outdoor cat with no collar. Breakaway collars exist. There is no excuse. When your cat ends up taken in by another family who assume it to be stray, or hit by a car and can't be identified that's on you.

My friend’s cat almost died while wearing a breakaway collar that didn’t work. My cat just removes them. He’s chipped. He doesn’t need a collar.

ferrier · 08/10/2018 19:37

The kind of person that will put up posters is the kind of person that will take the animal to the vet to get a microchip scan.

It's a definite no to collars here. Not ever. They're potentially dangerous and they're often uncomfortable.

LimboLuna · 08/10/2018 22:12

My old ones lost collars the same day I put them on so I gave up. Complete waste of time and dangerous given where we lived.
But the chip was always up to date

Menarefrommarsitwouldseem · 08/10/2018 23:15

Yeah for me the nails would be a big no no.
I kind of get the annoyance though, just seems a little bit obsessive.

Also. People drown squirrels??
I learn something new every day and it tends to be bloody horrible.

SalemBlackCat4 · 09/10/2018 07:30

@Wearywithteens And cat haters like yourself don't get it. Firstly, cats usually are not interested in digging up gardens. Secondly, unless you are a vegetarian and also attack birds for murdering frogs and worms, you are a hypocrite. I feel sorry for people like yourself that you are so narrow-minded and have never known the love of a cat.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 09/10/2018 09:23

SalemBlackCat4 Why would you feel sorry for someone not being lived by a cat? That’s very weird. I have two cats. They are total dicks at times. If someone doesn’t like cats what are they actually missing out on? Do you feel sorry for people who don’t have one of every animal? You know, to feel it’s love. How many animals do you have?

BackToTheFuschia7 · 09/10/2018 09:26

I thought Salems post was spot on.

SoyDora · 09/10/2018 09:28

Ah please don’t feel sorry for me for not having the love of a cat. I have the love of my family and friends, the love of my dog... I’ll cope.
Although FWIW I don’t hate cats. I don’t feel anything for them. I just hate cleaning their shit off my garden every single morning.

ravenmum · 09/10/2018 09:29

🍿 popcorn anyone?

tiredtiredtiredtired · 09/10/2018 09:34

I have this for foxes. Defenders STV415 Jet Spray Battery Operated Fox Repeller and Cat Deterrent, Green, 32.7 x 10.5 x 10 cm https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DACLHT2/ref=cmswwrcppapi_gGgVBb70VV7SQ

Works a treat Grin

thinkfast · 09/10/2018 15:02

I'm in the DH's side. That would drive me round the twist too. I'd be ringing the neighbour to come and clean up after their cat.

MrMeSeeks · 09/10/2018 20:43

And i am well aware im nuts 🙈😁😇
Nope, i think you have a new pet Grin
It begins...

MummatoaMunchin · 11/10/2018 19:43

@MrMeSeeks

Oh yikes i hadnt even thought of it like that!