DH is obsessed with NDN’s cat

[Crazycatmanhelp]

Our neighbour’s cat has started pooing in our garden. We’re not really sure why as we’ve lived here for 2 1/2 years and it’s only started doing it in the last few months. I find it irritating but as someone who grew up with cats accept its par for the course.

Anyway my DH has become obsessed with stopping this cat from pooing in the garden. He stares at the garden waiting for the cat to make an appearance so he can run out and chase it off. He’s bought a high pitched cat deterrent thing and sprayed lemon juice on the grass, neither of which work. I caught him hammering nails into the fence the other day so the cat would injure itself when jumping up which I made him take down. He’s made himself late for work waiting for the cat so be can scare it. He talks about it every day, calls me from work to ask for updates on the cat (I’m in Mat leave).

It sounds ridiculous but his obsession with this cat is really getting me down. He is otherwise a wonderful husband and father. But I hate this nasty streak he’s showing. The glee on his face when he terrifies this poor cat is unpleasant. He’s even talked jokingly about how he’d love it to accidentally get run over by a car.

I’ve tried talking to him about it but he says he doesn’t want poo in the garden for the DC to potentially step in which I understand but this behaviour still isn’t normal surely?

AIBU to be annoyed by his behaviour? What do I do?!

LOVE that you can buy a product made from Big Cat poo to scare off Small Cats! That really tickles my fancy.

Something tells me that my local nursery (in Australia) doesn’t stock it. I guess most of the world has heard about our strict quarantine laws? Poo is out. Still. I’d buy Roar even without a NDN cat problem. Excellent!

I was obsessed with pigeons that started courting in my garden. I didn't want them to mate and be overrun with pigeons so I started trying to chase them away every time they met for a rendezvous on the garden wall.

I even made a scarecrow which they just ignored. They dated all summer and started shagging regularly right in view of all the neighbours

No matter what I did, they were drawn lustfully to each other and my garden wall every evening about 6pm. I had to admit defeat. The bird brain was too clever for me. Driven by their primal instinct, they would just not give up.

I finally realised it was over when I saw her flying too and fro with twigs in her beak and he was no-where to be seen. Sigh.

I've had cats all my life and they've all buried their poo. They do exactly the same in the litter tray.

I could never be with a man who actually showed glee at scaring an animal and attempted to cause them pain with nails. Absolutely disgusting and if it had been my DH, I would firstly have kicked him out and secondly, been round to warn the neighbour that he had been trying to hurt their cat. At least they should have the option to know about his cruelty, as I'd keep mine in if I knew someone wanted to hurt them.

Sorry, meant to say something on topic too. If your DH is truly doing such an out-of-character campaign on the NDNs, I’d assume it was a latent anxiety reaction to the turbulence of having a baby. Even at the 1 year mark, it’s a big accumulation of lack of sleep and lots of change.

Plus there’s a protective element to it, like ‘no one messes with my castle, my wife, my kid’.

Frankly, I’d be secretly recording his paranoia in a colourful scrapbook to exhibit at my kid’s 21st! Also, you know, booking my DH a boys weekend away. He needs a change of scene. Preferably out in the fresh sea air, with physical exercise.

What happened re. issues with the NDN's fairy lights and bins?

Do you think he might have PND after the birth of your baby, op ?

< eye roll >

Unhinged
Cat shit is disgusting. It stinks and is dangerous. He shouldn't try to harm the cat or be late to work over it but I always chase them out. Better to get it stopped now before the baby grows and starts playing in the garden

people are weird about cats. My otherwise pleasant Gran would actually throw rocks at cats in the garden for pooing but then happily observe squirrels/birds/foxes doing the same. Irrational hatred.

I could handle him putting lemon/orange peel/garlic whatever down but I would draw the line completely at his attempts to injure it. i would be taking the nails out myself.

What is 'vermin' @juneau? It's a wild animal that annoys people, exactly as a 'weed' is a wild plant in a place a person would prefer it not to be. Vermin and weed are human-centric and culturally variable terms, not biological ones.

I've met plenty of men who are obsessed with killing squirrels. They use the fact that grey squirrels have displaced red ones through much of the UK, to justify trapping and drowning grey squirrels. A very distressing and painful death. This despite the fact that they live hundreds of miles from the nearest red squirrel population and their actions will have no impact on either population. And yes, red squirrels used to dig holes in lawns too.

Squirrels are really, really annoying, I do agree. Drowning them though is the act of a sadist.

What is 'vermin'

Don't you have Google? Here you go - dictionary definition:

vermin
noun
wild animals which are believed to be harmful to crops, farm animals, or game, or which carry disease, e.g. rodents.

When it comes to grey squirrels, not only are they vermin, they're an invasive species and it's legal to cull them humanely.

I’d also be concerned about this behaviour escalating. After the issue with the nails in the fence we witnessed a horrific disregard for their own pet which they left in the garden whilst they went on holiday, it was quietly cared for by the neighbours and he also suggested to his young children they dissect another live creature they found. Truly hideous but outwardly respectable couple.

I did contact the rspca over the nails but they were useless.

Silent Roar is excellent. Lion poo soaked pellets. Pet and environment friendly.

I have rtft a tip I saw on here for keeping cats out, they were constantly pooping in my flower beds. Male urine preferably a young boy it is the scent, while DS was potty training I tried it for a week and they haven't been back.

It was a rhetorical question, which I answered myself, juneau.

Yes, grey squirrels did displace red ones, a long time ago in most of England. They aren't going away and red ones aren't coming back. Squirrels are grey now.

Red squirrel conservation efforts are focused on protecting isolated populations and 'holding a line' close to areas that are more naturally favourable to the reds. Not population expansion.

So yes, grey squirrels were an invasive species but, on the whole, they've done their invading, built homes, settled down and become naturalised Brits. The legislation hasn't caught up with that yet, as there is still some utility to being able to control them, in a carefully targeted way, around the remaining red squirrel populations.

My point was really about the men who use their old 'foreign invader' status as an excuse to kill them painfully. This is sadism, an exercise in power and violence and has no relevance to conservation whatsoever. The relevance to the thread is that there are a lot of men who behave like this. It is not as unusual as many women might prefer to think.

I can sympathise with his frustration (we spent a fortune on various cat deterrents until the electronic sensor did the job). This includes laying stones over what was a lovely flower bed by our front door. I found myself borderline in a rage at any cat that went by because of all the inconvenience and expenses.

However I wasn't obsessed, it didn't impact my day to day business. I am at best ambivalent about cats but it makes me sick to the stomach to think of hurting an animal intentionally.

Help him put up a substantial and effect cat fence. Also encourage him to talk to someone about the obsessive level of his issues with the neighbours and their cat.

There are lots of different types of fencing, for example, these.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfpa1mV1pI
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8LHKHyFYWw

Cats bury their poo neatly so I don't see why he'd care. Good manure

I wish all the cats that we’ve ever lived near had got that memo . We come out to 2-3 fresh cat shits on our lawn every morning. It’s vile.
I echo all the pp’s though. As you know, this is not normal behaviour and is disturbing.

It isn't good manure unless the cat is a vegetarian. Cat shit can carry worms that blind children. Don't minimise the nuisance they cause by lying

It has twice as much nitrogen and the same amount of phosphorus as cattle manure. You can't use it for vegetables but it won't do plants any harm.

Toxocara incidence from dogs or cats is rare.

Shambu

If you can't use it for veg, and the most you can say is that it 'won't do plants any harm,' then it's not 'good manure'.

Anyway, just because your cats bury their shit, doesn't mean that all of them do.

It's perfectly good manure for plants other than vegetables is the point.

lottiegarbanzo this sounds like a bit of a soap box issue for you. I never said my DH tortures grey squirrels - I said he is obsessed with them digging up our fucking garden - and tbh I'm pretty sick of it too. And while you may have this cuddly notion that grey squirrels have "built homes, settled down and become naturalised Brits", I think you'll find many human Brits don't accept that these aggressive invaders belong here at all and would happily see them eradicated (myself included). Which is not to say I torture squirrels either! However, I do cheer if I see one squashed on the road Fucking tree rats.

It's disgusting and can blind children, is the point. Cat owners cannot understand that we don't want to dig in our gardens and find their cats' shit. Keep your cats in your own gardens. Get proper fencing to keep them in and away from other people's property. It isn't hard.

Selfish beyond belief to let them roam and shit everywhere.

Point out to your husband that, even if stops the cat coming in, the garden will still be covered in wee and poo from birds, rats, mice, squirrels and foxes. And possibly the odd mole and rabbit.

Just out of interest the people that want cat owners to keep cats in their gardens, what should we do about our front doors? My parents cat will dash outside every time someone opens the door. They would love to keep her either in the house or in the garden away from the road but she runs fast and will not come back in for anything. Cat proofing gardens can work but cats are quite annoying and will try and find a way out if they can. My cat often climbs through the upstairs window for example and down onto the porch.