AIBU - BF and Facebook

[HB2Me]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years. Our relationship hasn’t progressed to moving in or talk of marriage in that time. However, due to my family circumstances I have been happy to take things slowly.

We had what could be seen as a stupid argument last night. He is refusing to have me as a friend on his Facebook. Up until about a year ago his profile said he was single. Now that information is hidden.

He says that he sees me in real life so there’s no need to ‘add another channel of communication’. He also has all of his friends who he sees in real life on there (but apparently this is ok because he added them before he made a decision not to have any more friends on there). He also has his exes as friends and seemingly everyone else but me.

I appreciate FB is not real life but I find it very odd and hurtful that he won’t add me when he seemingly has no problems adding anyone else.

He thinks I’m strange and can’t understand why we need to be friends when we see each other in real life.

I asked him if he would be my friend (this sounds so tragic doesn’t it) and he said no.

AIBU and do I need to be handed a grip? I’d really appreciate some objective input.

Very fishy. I think you are an OW without knowing it :-(

OP he treats you terribly! Absolutely awful! And he clearly does not want to be with you.

I'm very sorry you're in that situation but I can't see any good coming from that relationship... I think it's best to distance yourself from him as soon as you can and take good care of yourself, you are worth so much more than being treated like that.

He invited me out one night with his friends and when they asked him at dinner if we were dating, he told them he’d invited me because my date had stood me up and he felt sorry for me!

I would've walked out on him there and then. Actually, I'd have walked out on him after a few months if he hadn't introduced me to his family and friends by then.

Stop wasting your life on this married loser and find a real man.

I really don’t think he is married. We do have a good relationship for the most part. However he is emotionally very cold.

We do have a good relationship for the most part. However he is emotionally very cold.

Two totally contradictory statements there, OP.

Really: why do you feel this is all you deserve?

He's clearly a massive prick. You obviously don't have much idea of what a "good relationship" is OP, so let me tell you: it's not this!

Not one person thinks that this is a good relationship for you
You need to listen to them

I agree with some others, catfish him. I would still get rid because it doesn't seem like he wants you to be a part of his life very much. I would still want to catfish to see what he did.

Yep OP it sounds great. You hardly see anyone of his friends and family and are excluded from major events and he pretends your not his girlfriend when your out.... yep after 5 yrs he sounds really committed

OP that is like saying: we have a good relationship. The only thing is we have a bad relationship.

If being disavowed, betrayed, lied to and treated as something to be embarrassed about is what you want, carry on.

You should not be with this man - and I doubt he considers himself really with you I'm afraid. But catfishing him first is a good idea so he can't lie about it - just set up a profile of a hot woman and start chatting, ask him if he's single, screenshot, and confront him. Then you definitively know the truth and you can start to move on. So sorry OP, he has treated you horribly. I can recommend www.baggagereclaim.co.uk about relationships with emotionally unavailable men, it helped me a lot.

1. No one knows about you. He keeps you secret.
2. He's dating other women. He likely has other girlfriends he's also in 'relationships' with.
3. He gaslights you.

Block him from all forms of communication and never speak to him again.

Oh no..this is dreadful! You have one life, OP, these are YOUR precious years. Why give them to someone so unworthy of you? It would be better to be alone than this!

Sorry to say I don't think he's invested in you. I think if he's not actively looking around he is keeping his option open.

I had an ex that wouldn’t be friends with me on social media. I think it was Bebo (anyone remember that?)

He was cheating.

But that aside, your issue goes far deeper than Facebook. Leave the bastard OP! You don’t deserve someone like him, someone that won’t tell his friends about you and lies? No way. Life is too short.

Fucking weird

I’m absolutely agog at the description of how he treated you at that dinner.

I’m with Klondike I’d have walked out there and then.

Why are you in a long term relationship with someone who is “emotionally cold”. Genuinely why?

I'd leave him... like right this second send a message saying it's over you can do a million times better than him....

You’ve posted about the the meal before.
What’s going to be next if you keep going out with him?
Find someone less shite!

LTB, you are either OW or he is embarrassed by you. Get rid and claw yourself back some self love and respect

I know it was 3 years ago and you've stayed with him but it reminds of a man I was seeing who invited me out to meet his friends then ignored me the whole night. His friends asked if I was seeing anyone I said errr yes your friend and they said oh yeah he snogs anyone so who are you really interested in? He sent me a text a couple of days later ending it but to be honest it had ended for me that night. He started a relationship with the 'he snogs everyone' commenter and then blanked me every time he saw me in our small town. Tosser.

Oh, honey - dump his sorry ass - NOW! He's a gigantic twat! You're worth much better. Please don't let him treat you like this. X

So sorry but it doesn't sound like he's proud of you or loves you. Set your bar much higher.

Oh my god op, why have you put up with this?

You don't have a good relationship with this man. He is using you. If you want a good relationship. Get rid of this man. He is humiliating you.