To be angry my 4 year old was excluded

[monicafallulageller]

Name changed for this just incase I'm actually being unreasonable and I don't want to have to live it down!

My 4.4 has just started school. She has been there 2 weeks.

Last week were were sent home a bookmark type card where we have to write down how many minutes we have read with our child at home.

This week I forgot. I work from home full time, have an almost permanently unwell toddler. And I forgot.

Because of this, my child along with another whose negligent parent also didn't time their minutes, was sat inside the classroom while 43 other children were taken to the adventure playground in the 'big school' for an hour.

My daughter was told it was because mummy didn't bring her certificate in and they were disappointed and what a shame it was. She was also told she would be taking the class teddy home for the weekend but that was changed because of this.

I am so upset about this. She is at school 3.5 times more than she is at home every day. She goes to bed at 6:30 and gets home at 4pm. And she has been excluded because they can't monitor the reading done during those short hours she is home.

She is very bright. Easily top of the class already which they have said. I have a very relaxed attitude at home due to how long and tiring school is for her!

I feel really let down and hurt that she was treated like this because of my business and forgetfulness.

Aibu unreasonable to massively fucked off.

That rather sets the tone for education doesn't it? "Comply or be punished regardless of intent."

Move her. She's only 4, find a child minder until you can find her a new school, and I'd make a complaint to ofsted about their lack of differentiation and inclusion too

Not read all the comments yet. I have a child who is still upset about not getting the class bear for the weekend despite being promised it.

This school is rated good. We are in an area with a high population of ethnic minorities and is a fairly 'rough' area. The majority of children at the school are from low income homes. I know this because at the open day they said this and said that they will never exclude any child from trips if their households can't afford it so the parents don't need to worry about their child missing out.

I doubt you'll forget to do it again.

I'm guessing she'll fill in any old number she feels like, that's what I'd do.

It's outrageous, raise hell and if they don't grovel and fully retract, take her out. If they can do this you can't trust them.

They sound very cruel and way OTT

Even the 'top of the class' comment about a 4yr old who's only been there 2 weeks, is bloody strange.

Top of the class for what exactly and how does 'ranking' them like that, make other kids feel?

Are they 'bottom of the class'?

I work in a school, albeit juniors, And although we give homework to our children, they would never be punished if their parents did not fill in a reading journal. Yes, reading is important, but it is not on to punish the child for the shortcomings of their parents. Every child in our school is expected to read to an adult at least four times a week. If that doesn't happen, we speak to the parent, NOT the child.
Definitely heck the school website for relevant policies - some have to be published on the website, others may be put on voluntarily. If their homework policy is published, see what it says about consequences when a parent doesn't 'do their not'. If it isn't published, ask for a copy at the office on Monday. Also, ask for a copy of the complaints policy and procedure and follow it, to the letter. The thing is, your dd has now been punished and they cannot make that right. Decide what resolution you want and state it clearly. I'd make sure that all correspondence regarding this is conducted by e mail and this gives you evidence of their response as well as making it much more difficult for letters to go 'missing'.

I'm not usually one for questioning and complaining about everything teachers do - a lot of the time my child's perception of what happened or was said is very different to what was actually meant anyway. But I'd be livid over this. Talk about putting a child off school before they've even begun! Over something g she has no control over anyway. Please do speak to school about it.

I feel very sorry for your DD, as it wasn’t her fault.

But reading at home makes a massive difference. I think YABU not to find time to read with your DD once in a week, and perhaps this is the wake up call you need.

It's not a punishment but a reward for those who have read at home in order to encourage them to do so. Most schools I've been in operate in a similar way.

Is it buggery not a punishment. And it's punishing a child who had no control over the situation (similar to 100% attendance awards, but that's another gripe)

How to destroy the chance of enjoying her schooldays, two weeks in!

And my school had some shit ideas, but they would never have done that!

That's awful for any child but a 4 year old, after just 2 weeks! My god. Write to the papers, contact the chair of governors, complain to Ofted.

And find her another school

It's just disgusting to treat a child that way, when they have done nothing wrong.

These school polices that require parents to "sign off" on homework/reading are the reason my DC had perfected the forging of my signature shortly after arriving at secondary school.......

That's shocking. I think I'd be making up numbers from here on in if I were you.

I think YABU not to find time to read with your DD once in a week, and perhaps this is the wake up call you need.

I read the OP as she had forgotten to fill in/return the card, not that she'd forgotten to read with her DD.

In your complaint, I would also pursue the angle that the hour of play was the EYFS equivalent of a PE session. Your daughter was not given an equal opportunity with her classmates to run and exercise. What value did they place on her learning while she was sitting doing nothing for one hour?

That's truly crap. I'd put in a formal complaint, making sure you follow the correct procedure which should be on their website.
They should not be excluding or punishing children for the acts of their parents.
To do this two weeks into reception is so unkind.

Are you sure that that 'the certificate' which wasn't returned is the reading card and not something else like a permission slip? Could it be that you had to sign and return something to say they could take her to the adventure playground, and you forgot to do it or your DD didn't return it, so they couldn't take her?

OP, why don't you contact your MP, explain what has happened and suggest it would be appropriate for Ofsted to look into the school's policy of punishing 4-year-olds for the omissions of their parents and whether this is appropriate. My impression is that schools can be downright paranoid about Ofsted inspections, so that might make them think twice about their approach. I agree with others that the school's behaviour is nasty and bullying.

I imagine what most parents will do faced with this system is fill in the card each day as soon as the child gets home from school with a "high but within the bounds of plausibility" number of reading minutes and put it straight back in the child's bag.

The OP forgot to fill in the record with the minutes. It doesn't say anywhere they didn't do the actual reading.

Thanks for clarifying. In that case sorry OP - YANBU.

I’m big on following school policies and am the first to roll my eyes at the uniform/hair do bollucks that usually arises on here. But this is disgraceful. If she’d refused to read then that would be fair enough but they are actually controlling what she is doing out of school. What if you sent it back with 0 minutes because as her parent you’ve decided not to read out of school? Would she be punished then.

Go to the head, then the board of governors and then the lea and onwards. Because no one gains from this policy. She deserves outdoor play.

Your poor DD actually got punished twice. Once for missing out on the playground and once for not having the bear. That is doubly cruel.

I'm assuming OP did the reading as well.

Seems outrageous to me.

Teachers of MN - Is this normal? Never come across this policy myself.

That's emotional abuse and withdrawing from class is against the equality act

WTAF? These people have no business in education and cannot be qualified in anything. Utterly appalling to punish children for what is outside their control - I’d make a written complaint and involve the local authority.

This is awful, how is this helping a 4 year old in a new School, I think their policy is bloody awful. I understand how important reading to your Child is (mine is 4 and has just started in Reception too) but not all parents can make time to do so, excluding a child as a punishment for this is completely out of order