To be angry my 4 year old was excluded

[monicafallulageller]

Name changed for this just incase I'm actually being unreasonable and I don't want to have to live it down!

My 4.4 has just started school. She has been there 2 weeks.

Last week were were sent home a bookmark type card where we have to write down how many minutes we have read with our child at home.

This week I forgot. I work from home full time, have an almost permanently unwell toddler. And I forgot.

Because of this, my child along with another whose negligent parent also didn't time their minutes, was sat inside the classroom while 43 other children were taken to the adventure playground in the 'big school' for an hour.

My daughter was told it was because mummy didn't bring her certificate in and they were disappointed and what a shame it was. She was also told she would be taking the class teddy home for the weekend but that was changed because of this.

I am so upset about this. She is at school 3.5 times more than she is at home every day. She goes to bed at 6:30 and gets home at 4pm. And she has been excluded because they can't monitor the reading done during those short hours she is home.

She is very bright. Easily top of the class already which they have said. I have a very relaxed attitude at home due to how long and tiring school is for her!

I feel really let down and hurt that she was treated like this because of my business and forgetfulness.

Aibu unreasonable to massively fucked off.

Bless her heart that is awful! I would hit the roof over this! The really sad thing is that the parents who just don't really give a fuck are still not going to bother so their children will be missing out every week Please complain to the governors, reassure your daughter that it wasn't her fault and take her out for a little treat at the weekend to make up for missing out today.

As well as being cruel to the child, it's also horrible for parents who are not used to school and all the diktats they regularly issue. I didn't always find time to hear DD1 read. I didn't get home from work then until 6.30pm, and would only have an hour with her until she went to sleep. But I had read to her since she was a baby, and she quickly became an advanced reader.

I'm a teacher and this is fucking disgusting. Really appalling. I'd be inclined to withdraw her if I'm honest - it's a big deal.

At DDs school they did a (stupid, in my view) reading competition every week, which the OP's example sounds similar to.

Every Wednesday evening they had to try and read as many minutes as possible and fill in a bookmark which we would initial to say how many minutes they had read for. The winning child and class would get a prize. The problem was, on a Wednesday evening DD1 had a 2 hour dance class. The most she managed was about 40 minutes, as she couldn't fit any more in. Other kids were practically reading from the moment they got home up to falling asleep, so DD1 could never win. I don't think there hours of reading is particularly healthy vs two hours of dance and 40 minutes of reading, when you consider childhood obesity levels!

Three not there.

Go and see the head. This policy is appalling. Find the complaints procedure and then follow it to the letter making a polite stink and letting them know that you are not going to go away over this. Document everything in writing and follow up any verbal conversations with an email to the school saying just to confirm on this date I spoke to x and they agreed y and it would be actioned by z. Please confirm receipt of this email. (It creates your papertrail.)

Do not threaten Ofsted or contact Ofsted they do not deal with complaints about schools. The moment you start threatening it, no one will take it seriously. It is usually head, governors and then it depends on whether you are dealing with an academy or not. But it is all detailed on be government website.

OP did you sign a permission slip for the adventure playground? What did it say on it?

Aww, poor poppet, I forgot about the harvest festival donation my ds needed to take this week. I'd have hated it if he'd have been singled out for this reason.
We are only human.

No permission slip signed. It's just a normal playground you might have in a park. And it's not in the reception area, it's on the big school field.

I have a letter they put in her book bag today saying they noticed they haven't had her reading slip back and that they want to remind me to include it every week. Absolutely nothing about punishing the child if I don't do so.

Shearwater

Are you in a town beginning with M. And a school beginning with P?

I'd pull her out it's one thing implementing this rule but to make it seem like your in the wrong ? Gosh look elsewhere and also complain to ofsted.

WTF?! What is she even supposed to be reading?! None of the books they get given even have words in them at that age! Have they even been given reading books yet?

Fuck that.

So awful...

Poor Child :(

The book she has been given is a 4 page book that is falling apart and has pictures of a hedgehog in it. No words.

Wtf??? That is so out of order. I would talk to the head ASAP.

A child should obviously not be punished for something their parent has/hasn't done. And even if it was up to the children to take responsibility and read on their own, they shouldn't be deprived of fun/outisde time because they've forgotten to do it.

That is appalling!

Just tell the teacher that you learned your lesson and will put a random number onto the slip from now on. Do it with a lovely smile and a tilt to your head.
They're dickheads.
If you had more time, I'd recommend you got on the school board as parent rep so you effect change but as you can't, maybe just pull her and send her to a place that isn't whacko.

I would consider a new school. If it is their policy it will be one of many that are far too draconian.

I know the intention there is to instil a culture of reading, working etc but it is just way too much. Your poor dd, I hope you will take her to the adventure park this weekend.

That is disgusting. I would've been so so cross at this, it's ridiculous. It would be enough for me to escalate much further.

Second thread of the night with teachers with no common sense! I’d ask the teacher what happened. I know from experience kids this age can exaggerate. Children that age should just be able to leave school and come home and play imo. It’s up to parents to decide what priorities there are outside school!

What a vile policy. This is worth being "that parent" over because it's a deterrent to reading for pleasure and just encourages parents to lie which defeats the objective anyway. I agree that it is worth considering what other school options there are because if they are this punative and draconian over this, they are likely to be in other areas too.

I recently found DS1's yR record. It was fairly empty. He was in childcare until 5:55 daily so not home before 6pm. He needed to play and unwind quietly (and I was frazzled after a long day of my teaching and needed a break before psyching up for dinner, bedtimes and more of my own work). At 4-5 DS quite simply wasn't ready to read, so I concentrated more on reading to him and his sibling. In y1&2 they collected certificates for every 50 reads. DS1 was less tired and motivated to earn them so did more reads himself. It became apparent that he was having difficulties tracking words on the page and in y2 he got tints and glasses to support his reading and remove visual stress and he suddenly jumped up a few reading levels and finished y2 on an age appropriate level. Most importantly he enjoys books for pleasure and looks through our collection on his own terms. If he'd been forced to read when he wasn't ready, and treated punatively by a policy then reading would be a battle zone and he wouldn't have come as far as he has. There are so many reasons beyond a child's control that will affect their reading at home and recording in their records.

The teacher confirmed the child's account.

At my child's school, Reception classrooms were open early for 20 minutes before school (other years could play supervised in the playground before the bell). One child would arrive early and read with the teacher before school. I don't know the child's home situation, but she was struggling with reading, and for whatever reason, was not reading at home. I would never expect a teacher to put in extra time like that, but I thought of it as it was in such sharp contrast to what is happening at the OP's school.

Punishing her is ridiculous, I say this as a primary teacher myself.

But I do think they have a point about parental involvement. There is enough time to read the school book for 5 mins every day. DS is in reception and had a lovely book about glasses yesterday (absolutely thrilling 🙄) but we just got on with it. I work long full time hours and we have a one year old with major health issues but we always read the school book and then a proper book before bed. I think there are very very few situations where someone wouldn't have the time to do this.