To be angry my 4 year old was excluded

[monicafallulageller]

Name changed for this just incase I'm actually being unreasonable and I don't want to have to live it down!

My 4.4 has just started school. She has been there 2 weeks.

Last week were were sent home a bookmark type card where we have to write down how many minutes we have read with our child at home.

This week I forgot. I work from home full time, have an almost permanently unwell toddler. And I forgot.

Because of this, my child along with another whose negligent parent also didn't time their minutes, was sat inside the classroom while 43 other children were taken to the adventure playground in the 'big school' for an hour.

My daughter was told it was because mummy didn't bring her certificate in and they were disappointed and what a shame it was. She was also told she would be taking the class teddy home for the weekend but that was changed because of this.

I am so upset about this. She is at school 3.5 times more than she is at home every day. She goes to bed at 6:30 and gets home at 4pm. And she has been excluded because they can't monitor the reading done during those short hours she is home.

She is very bright. Easily top of the class already which they have said. I have a very relaxed attitude at home due to how long and tiring school is for her!

I feel really let down and hurt that she was treated like this because of my business and forgetfulness.

Aibu unreasonable to massively fucked off.

WTAF?
I would be contacting the head and then Ofsted. So you forget and she pays the price??? I think children should be taught to enjoy reading anyway, not to tick a box. But that is not the point.

that's disgusting - I'd be looking at alternative schools

Cross-post. Take this to the head/governors. It's a ridiculous policy which is going to cause other problems - for example, people faking the reading records, so school won't know which kids need more support!

Written complaint re the policy ( Is the policy available to see - website etc...). If no joy from Head go to governors.
It is classic bullying by teachers and needs to be called out.
I would be looking for another schol.

That is totally unfair and particularly cruel penilising small children for a parent's forgetfulness. What if the parents arent able to read to the child? The school needs to realise that family circumstances and parent's literacy levels vary but their children should be given the same opportunities as everyone else!
I would write a formal letter of complaint and hand it to the head teacher x

It would be different if you said that your DC was in YEAR 4, and not FOUR YEARS OLD.

An older child has more agency and therefore responsibility. So an older child might get kept in for not doing their reading homework ... but even then, it's a shit policy that will be abused.

But a tiny four year old in Reception - play-based learning, remember - should not be punished for their parent's record-keeping or lack thereof.

Appalling. Ask the teacher if they treat vulnerable children and child carers the same way?
Your DD has you at home to boost her self esteem - it's terrible to be treated that way but won't damage her long term. Another child could be destroyed by such callous treatment. (I am a teacher)

That is just beyond the pale. I’d look at an alternative school.

Complain. In writing to the head and governors. Then move her. It’s not a good school and you need to get her out.

I'm guessing this might be a school with high attainment and affluent parents? If we had this policy in our school, we'd be lucky if half a dozen children got the reward!
It's actually extremely vindictive and very cruel to punish a child for their parents actions. I would write a letter to the Head and Chair of Governors about this matter. Don't even bother apologising for not signing your child's reading card. It's a schools job to teach a child to read, and to develop a love of reading. Such archaic practices will only alienate a child as well as making them believe that schools are unfair places. What they have done is wrong, wrong, wrong. No excuse. If they're not prepared to change this policy, then move schools.

No good going to the head as it will be a school policy. I doubt you'll forget to do it again. It's not a punishment but a reward for those who have read at home in order to encourage them to do so. Most schools I've been in operate in a similar way.

My DD is at an outstanding school (best in the borough) - plenty of middle class parents. That would never happen here. So not every high achieving school os devoid of common sense.

And they are not schools with well off, high attaining children either. In y1 there were siblings one always got the reward but the other often didn't because they didn't want to read at home.

I hate these kind of punishments were children miss out in things because the parent has forgotten something.
I imagine there are some children whose parents never read with them and still won’t despite them having a chat. So then they don’t get to go and play outside with their peers either?
I’d email the head with my thoughts on their policy.

This is awful! What if the parents have English as a second language, or are even illiterate!

I know a very loving, hard working parent who is illiterate. Works in laborious jobs and is the most hands on, caring parent. His kids would be punished in this scenario.

I'd not really want my child in this school long term. To say that openly to a child and punish them in this way for something they've had no control over?! The idea of their being children missing out on treats and their peers all knowing it's down to something their parents haven't managed to do?

In this school the kids who's parents have perhaps had a bereavement that week/ a mental health crisis/ live with learning disabilities/ are struggling in general/ have had health issues/ are illiterate - these children, the ones who need the most support and inclusion at school are openly and vocally excluded and punished.

Not much shocks me but this has!

Just fill it out with pure lies on a Monday and pin it to the fridge to take in on a Friday.

It’s a stupid policy and most parents are likely doing that I’ve just said already.

How horrid !!!

That's really awful but your thread wouldn't have been so long with pp all saying the same thing if you say said in your OP that's you'd already spoken to the teacher etc.

This is so messed up! I get that different schools try and find different ways of encouraging parents to read with children and to instill the love of reading within them - but them overreacting like this and singling children out for what essentially is bureaucracy is absolutely nuts and does nothing for the cause.
As a side note, I used to get pissed off when I'd receive newsletters from school last year about themes my DDs Reception class has been covering that week: they included suggestions of activities to do at home, but some of them were ridiculous and made me wonder whether they realise that parents work full time? I'm home around 6.30, my DD goes to sleep around 7.30-8 (which I think is too late already!) WHEN am I supposed to be doing this stuff?! Sorry for the slightly off topic rant.
To come back to your post I'd be livid, fuming and would definitely write an email to the school asking for some explanation of what this 'punishment' is supposed to achieve. Big hug for your DD and you.

I would send an email, checking to clarify what happened. State, in clear bullet points, what you understand to have happened and request a written response. Then, if they agree that’s what’s happened contact ofsted, show them the emails and get your child out of there

You need to be having a serious conversation with the teachers and heads. Punishing a 4yr old for an adult error.Sounds like a delightful school.

Bloody hell. Draconian and cruel.

No good going to the head as it will be a school policy. I doubt you'll forget to do it again. It's not a punishment but a reward for those who have read at home in order to encourage them to do so. Most schools I've been in operate in a similar way.

Err no that's outrageous. It's completely ridiculous to imagine it's not a punishment to watch everyone else in the class do a fun activity while you're stuck in the class room. It's also very obviously wrong to reward or punish children for their parents actions. You'll be taking the mot vulnerable children and putting them off learning immediately.

I'm a little confused about this story though. Surely if the children were to be taken out of school the parents would have been informed before today and they would have been made aware of the (awful) policy before? Being told your DD is "top of the class" after 2 weeks of reception is also bizarre in the extreme.

Name changed for this just incase I'm actually being unreasonable and I don't want to have to live it down!

haha I feel your pain, I've been in the same situation.

What they did was absolute shit. The sins of the father being visited on the child.