To be angry my 4 year old was excluded

[monicafallulageller]

Name changed for this just incase I'm actually being unreasonable and I don't want to have to live it down!

My 4.4 has just started school. She has been there 2 weeks.

Last week were were sent home a bookmark type card where we have to write down how many minutes we have read with our child at home.

This week I forgot. I work from home full time, have an almost permanently unwell toddler. And I forgot.

Because of this, my child along with another whose negligent parent also didn't time their minutes, was sat inside the classroom while 43 other children were taken to the adventure playground in the 'big school' for an hour.

My daughter was told it was because mummy didn't bring her certificate in and they were disappointed and what a shame it was. She was also told she would be taking the class teddy home for the weekend but that was changed because of this.

I am so upset about this. She is at school 3.5 times more than she is at home every day. She goes to bed at 6:30 and gets home at 4pm. And she has been excluded because they can't monitor the reading done during those short hours she is home.

She is very bright. Easily top of the class already which they have said. I have a very relaxed attitude at home due to how long and tiring school is for her!

I feel really let down and hurt that she was treated like this because of my business and forgetfulness.

Aibu unreasonable to massively fucked off.

IF that was a true version of events, I would be in there. Scathing complaint to the Head and Governors, and if they supported the Reception teachers' actions on this, then I would find another school.

Shocking.

If this version of events is 100% correct I’d also be looking for a new school, they sound awful and shite tbh

That's terrible. Complain formally and she's only little so I'd look around for a more reasonable school (if possible).

I would remove her immediately..if all of those facts are correct. It's bordering on bullying imo.

That's an awful policy OP and extremely cruel to a 4 year old.

You can't have bear and you can't have play because of your Mummy?!?!

Draconian doesn't begin its borderline emotional abuse

I'd be booking an appointment with the Head and outlining objections

AND

Might even go as far as a school move if they consider this OTT nonsense an acceptable way of treating small children

Wow that's very harsh!!

They were well out of order to exclude your child.

I also think it's a bit snoopy for parents to have to report to the school how much work they do with their child at home. Is this common in most schools or a new thing? I always read and did other things with my child but nobody at school asked me what or for how long and I don't think I'd have appreciated it if they did.

I spoke to the teachers wishing 30 second seconds of dd telling me.

It is completely true.

I actually feel sick

*within

That is unbelievably unfair! Your poor DD :(

I would be escalating to head teacher and beyond if they can't resolve it. What a horrible way to treat four-year-old children.

This is awful, your poor dd. I would not be happy at all with the school.
How do you know she's top of the class after only two weeks?

I would go and speak to the teacher!! Give the school a ring and ask them to ring back.

Find out what happened before jumping in

That is the school policy. Wow! I am normally pretty relaxed with School even if they make mistakes but would be going nuclear over this. If you get stonewalled by the head, I’d take it to the governors. Go through the entire complaints procedure. My dd went through a period of refusing to read. She was little and tired and wasn’t the only one. The teacher told me to leave it and try again in a month or so. Had my dd been at your dds School, I would have had to make her complicit in a lie or made he miss out on a planned activity.

Change schools.

It's not just a very cruel policy, it's a silly one. Parents who have too much else going on in their lives to do the reading, but who don't want their child to miss out, are quickly going to learn to fill out the record anyway, making up the minutes. Then the school doesn't know who is reading at home and who isn't.

Cynic here wonders if this is an Outstanding Ofsted school with really great results. Because expectations like this pretty much weed out anyone who doesn't come from an uber organised non-chaotic family.

What a disgusting horribly policy. One thing for sure that parents will be filling in these reading reports probably not always accurately to ensure their children don't miss out.

I would also complain in writing/ask for a meeting with the head. What about families who don't speak English or read themselves? Those with care needs/sick family member? Or working parents that rely on child care after school? A child of 4 should not be punished for something that is completely out of their control.

I think you definitely need to escalate it. When you do leave out all the nonsense about her being bright and top of the class - she's only been there a few weeks, they're still assessing the kids and where they are now really has no bearing. Also It would be even more awful if they were harsher on the less able kids than the more able.

I would be considering another school to be honest. Even if this particular policy is reversed it shows their general attitude.

If she's has told you the fact, this is way OTT.

It might be worth putting in a note about your other child's illness, in the communication book. We struggled sometimes when DD was in Reception, as younger DS was in and out of hospital, or being nursed at home. Some weeks we didn't manage to get the reading, homework etc done. They prioritised the parent helpers towards those pupils who were either struggling academically, or had home situations that, for whatever reason, meant they didn't get the support at home.

Some parents sadly won't care at all if their child suffers, even if there is no reason not to do the reading and I find it highly doubtful that keeping their child in is going to convince them to change their ways. Therefore it's just disadvantaging the children who are already disadvantaged by their home situations. If loss of break time was spent doing extra reading with the TA, that would be different, and a more useful way of dealing with it.

Given that you confirmed this was correct, I would start looking for another school for my child.

No. That's absolutely bloody AWFUL.

Make a fuss. A big one.

I might also consider moving schools over something like this.

It's a long time through primary school. And you have another DC who presumably will need to start school too. Attitudes like this are pervasive and how they deal with this now would absolutely colour my opinion of them.

If that is their policy it's shite,I'd be looking for a more relaxed school for sure.my friends child is at a school where they don't give homework,as the school says it disadvantages children who have parents to busy to help them.

It's not just a very cruel policy, it's a silly one. Parents who have too much else going on in their lives to do the reading, but who don't want their child to miss out, are quickly going to learn to fill out the record anyway, making up the minutes. Then the school doesn't know who is reading at home and who isn't

Also THIS ^^