AIBU?
Not to want to be the unpaid help for my working friends’ children?
EmGee · 28/09/2018 11:33
I am a SAHM and have no plans to go back to work for at least another year. I have always been more than happy to help out friends (working or not) with school drop offs/pick ups/sleepovers/play dates in holidays etc when needed.
I’ve always shied away from anything concrete or regular eg every Monday morning. My rationale is that I am a SAHM as it suits our family life - DH works long hours, with some travel, overnight conferences, dinners etc - so I’m there for the kids. But I don’t want the responsibility for any one else’s child on a fixed basis.
I have a friend who is returning to work soon and it’s the kind of work where th
EmGee · 28/09/2018 11:37
Sorry. Machine playing up and posted early by mistake.
PuppyMonkey · 28/09/2018 11:55
I don't know where the rest of the post is but, don't do it OP, she's a CF. [yet]
MatildaTheCat · 28/09/2018 11:57
Just tell her if she’s asking you to be her childminder even ad hoc.
You don’t have to make a big deal of it. Just, no, I can’t commit to that so you need to find someone who can. Happy to help in an emergency (if you are) but regular childcare won’t work for us.
Fatasfook · 28/09/2018 11:57
Say no. It’s a slippery slope to resentment and the end of a friendship
serbska · 28/09/2018 11:59
Just say "no, sorry I don't want to commit to looking after your child, you'll need to get a CM"
EdisonLightBulb · 28/09/2018 12:03
Just say NO!
oh, and you come back and finish the story as I love to hear a good CF story.
MargoLovebutter · 28/09/2018 12:04
It is one thing to help out from time to time - it is another thing altogether to become relied upon on a regular basis.
Fortunately, you are 100% in charge here, because you can say 'no'. As someone else said 'no' is a complete sentence.
FWIW, I'm a full-time working single mum and I would not dream of asking another mum to help me on a regular basis for nothing! That is CF territory.
IrmaFayLear · 28/09/2018 12:11
This is what to do if you are too chicken to say the MN phrase, "Sorry, it doesn't work for me." Being vague about movements is polite but sends the message that you cannot (don't want to) commit:
With pre-school kids it's easy. You are not bound by any school routine so you can just say, "Oh, I'm afraid I'll be visiting relations in Stockport/dh taking a day or two off so we're going to Centreparks" etc etc etc.
If you have a child at school, and the CF knows you will be trudging back and forth to school at exact times, then you need a few after-school activities (the vaguer the better), dentist appointments and "plans". Before school? Erm.... don't know about that one.
viques · 28/09/2018 12:19
If she is expecting you to do it regularly for no payment then she is a cf and you can say no with a clear conscience.
If she is mentioning payment of any sort then you say no because you are not a registered childminder so it would be illegal for you to be paid.
She has made the decision to work, so she should have planned for childcare beyond thinking "OP will oblige because she is lovely and has nothing better to do with her time than sit around waiting me to take advantage of her good nature."
BackforGood · 28/09/2018 12:20
Are we getting the end of the post ? 
However, agree with 'No being a complete sentence' but if you don't like short sentences, just say 'No thanks, I have NO desires to be a Childminder'.
VladmirsPoutine · 28/09/2018 12:22
Whatever the end of the post is I think the answer is just say no. It doesn't work for you. Don't be drawn into any negotiating or compromising.
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