To think some people on MN must have magic money trees?

[CoughLaughFart]

Am I the only thinking there are an awful lot of MNers who have no concept of others being less well off than they are? I’ve noticed a few times, but it seems to be getting really bad lately.

Two threads that spring to mind are the passport thread (where the OP’s partner is being pressured to get one so that he can volunteer for a work trip) and the holiday fall-out thread.

TBF most people on the passport thread seem to get that spending £75 on a new passport when you can’t afford to go abroad isn’t very sensible. However, there are quite a few posts along the lines of ‘Just get one, it’s not that expensive’ - even someone saying the OP’s partner should just ‘grow up’ and buy one and ‘that’s what savings are for’. Similarly, on the holiday thread a number of people are advising ‘Book the first flight out’ or ‘find different accommodation’, without a thought that holidays are generally expensive anyway and that effectively booking a second one might be beyond some people’s means.

These are specific current threads, but it seems to be a general attitude in some corners. ‘Get a cleaner’. ‘Get some nice wine and chill in the garden’ (to someone depressed because they’re skint and live in a rough area).

I’m grateful to be in a decent enough position financially, but I’d never simply assume anyone else was. Don’t people at least consider the potential for different circumstances before offering their ‘helpful’ advice?

Yanbu. But I think mn is largely populated by Londoners who genuinely believe that less than £60k is poverty and therefore have no concept that (in Scotland anyway) 60% of households earn less than 25k.

You start with elderly relatives, Portia

I remember reading on a salary thread a couple of years ago. One poster commented that she earned around £110k per annum and her DH around £150k, which she thought was 'adequate'. That was the day I realised that some MNetters live on a different planet to me.

For me it was reading the sneering of a MNer saying she'd never bottle or get into debt to provide a nice Xmas for her children.

I knew for a fact (quiche) both her and her husband were barristers who owned a mews house in London. So not trawling B&M or the Argos catalogue for a bargain. Absolutely horrid.

And also those who live in London who don't realise that the average wage in London is £39,400. Yes much more than the rest of the country, but way less than many seem to assume.

This thread could go in for ever. Life isn’t fair. People have different expectations in life and this forum brings people together that wouldn’t normally cross paths Some people like to show off about how much they earn and others like to sneer at those better off and feel sorry for themselves. There’s always someone better off and worse off. It’s just life. It doesn’t make anyone wrong or right, jjust different. I’m comfortable financially but don’t begrudge anyone more successful. I think good for them. I also do feel for people struggling but it is hard to understand other people’s situations at times if you are totally different in your mindsets and viewpoints. I don’t think anyone should be judged or criticised for their situation. And let’s not forget money isn’t everything. People wih loads of money can suffer depression,loneliness etc. Success isn’t just based on money. If you have a loving family and friends that’s more valuable than anything I think. Easy for me to say I guess but What’s the point of having loads of money and no-one to share it with. I also don’t understand why people need to talk about how much they earn. It’s crass and unnecessary. We all know there’s massive difference in wealth across the country so why even go there?

I have a feeling there are numerous posters who have referenced one particular MNetter in particular with a certain reputation.

OP I think this thread has been massively derailed, and I understand exactly what you are saying!

When someone posts," I'm having a tough time looking after my kids, the house is a tip, have £10 to do a food shop for 3 of us, and feeling really stressed".
The answers that always annoy me are, "get a cleaner, have a short break, sell something"
It's clear the poster can't do these things! It's sad that the posters who respond in this way seem incapable of empathy and understanding.

No one is saying you can't discuss high prices items on your own thread, but don't tell a poster to pay for something to make their life easier if part of the problem is they have no money to pay for that thing.

I think more people would benefit from watching "I, Daniel Blake" - might open their eyes up a bit more. :(

Londoners ( speaking as one ) can be ignorant to the genuine grinding poverty that exists elsewhere . I often hear comments that shock me to the core

Is that film on Netflix /prime thumb? Will give it a go

Is there no poverty in London any more or has it all been socially cleansed away?

As a Londoner with one depentant child, I can honestly tell you it’s hard to survive on less than 50k if you have a mortgage or rent privately.

If people find some of the replies upsetting to their posts then maybe don’t post on here? Posts are bound to attract all kinds of comments and surely that should be expected? People can be far too honest and outspoken on here because they’re anonymous. I’m sure people don’t go flaunting how much they earn in real life. So there are pros and cons to posting on here. You get the hard truth which you might not in real life but you also get comments that make you feel bad. So you need to decide if you can take what is coming before posting!!

Probably the most sensible post on this thread74. It's a race to the bottom.

It's sad that posters are criticising those on a higher income, and accusing them of not appreciating those with a £5 to last the week. But so what. You are just the same in your attitude towards them. Just because someone chose an education, moved away and found a good job over marrying Mike and having 4 kids by 24. It available to everyone - free education, free contraception, free healthcare. No one has said well done to anyone for leaving home, working hard, studying for 10 years and getting that big promotion.Sounds like jealousy.

I do enjoy the constant spurious correlation that people invoke to explain their lives. I am wealthy, I worked hard, therefore working hard makes you wealthy.
The same with kids. I did this with my kids and it worked therefore it will work for you. Life is more noisy than that.

*A maths degree from a good university with daddy pulling a few strings would be a walk in to a well paid career, but you can see how this is totally unattainable for a lad off a council estate?

University is a middle class rite of passage, not a working class one.*

That's the thing though, it shouldn't be. If it was free, anyone would go. I'm pretty sure anyone can get a loan at the moment - I guess there is the fear of paying it back.

People from deprived backgrounds can and do go to uni, often they just need a nudge in that direction - there isn't a physical barrier to stop them, it's just not the "done" thing amongst the people they know. My friend did TeachFirst in a deprived seaside town, and said she had a couple of super smart students. One wanted to be a hairdresser and one wanted to be a nurse. She asked the 1st one whether she had ever considered uni (she hadn't) and said to the 2nd one - you know you could be a doctor with your grades? The girl literally had not considered it and had ruled out that possibility for herself. My friend said the students just had no-one to look up to for high "career goals" because no-one went to uni or even went to work in a suit. They just didn't have ANYONE like that around them to show an example.

Also, you don't need anyone to pull any strings for you once you have a STEM degree. It's a ticket to a good career.

I also think people aren't given good advice when picking a degree. Lots of parents are naive and say "you be whatever to want to be! The world is your oyster!", and inevitably their kid studies Fashion and ends up working on the tills in Topshop. Or does History and ends up working in admin. A lot of my friends with humanities degrees from top 10 unis are in 18-30k jobs and will be for the forseeable future. Whereas my STEM friends are on 30-70k at the age of 25 and will be in 6 figures by 30-40.

The sheer cluelessness of some posts on here reminds me of a woman I met once at a social gathering years ago, who owned horses and seemed peeved by the fact that 'everyone seems to think people who have horses are rolling in it.' She earnestly went on to explain that 'that's not true at all... we're all poor because looking after the horses costs so much.'

Retraining for a better paid profession or studying for a degree are very good suggestions for people with no prospects. Yes, it will take time and no, it won't be easy, but it would improve their futures.

You have heard of a little thing called tuition fees, right?

Maybe it was her 'sheer cluelessness' but your arrogance. Why do you get to attack her views with your opinion?

The maths degree comments has got me a bit annoyed!
The sciences are way more meritocratic than the arts. My family and some friends ain’t posh and many have had fantastic careers in academia. The major difference it it was in the sciences.
Therefore someone from a ‘council estate’ can do very well in academia. Just don’t try and pursue art history or the classics where your accent has an impact.

I really love how it's always people who admit to being comfortably off who are the first to sermonise about how 'life's not fair'. Why not just tell people to knit themselves a woolly hat and be done with it?

Maybe it was her 'sheer cluelessness' but your arrogance. Why do you get to attack her views with your opinion?

The same reason as why she would be entitled to attack mine if she so chose - it's a little thing called free speech.

In what way do you believe it's arrogant to think that a person who considers themselves poor because they've no spending money left over after shelling out for Dobbin's necessities might not have the most fantastic grip on reality?

I agree that there’s reverse snobbery going on here. Just coz someone’s life is different and they suggest things that are not attainable to you doesn’t make them a bad person or a snob. If you just want to hear what you want hear then talk to your circle of friends who are on the same wavelength. If you want opinions of people from different walks of life and are happy with the diversity of answers, then post on here. But I don’t think people should be attacked for innocently suggesting things like “get a cleaner”etc just because that’s not the norm for the OP. It is the norm for some people.

Just because someone chose an education, moved away and found a good job over marrying Mike and having 4 kids by 24. It available to everyone - free education, free contraception, free healthcare. No one has said well done to anyone for leaving home, working hard, studying for 10 years and getting that big promotion.Sounds like jealousy.

And this sounds like vile snobbery.