Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if your thread is about a feminist issue you should post on the feminist board

344 replies

Shallishanti123 · 27/09/2018 12:52

Just that really. Too many feminist board type threads disguised as AIBUs, but really wanting to bash trans or whoever they feel like hating on right now.

Let’s just all be who we are and lead a happy life.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
TheGoddessFrigg · 27/09/2018 16:02

There are early pieces of research which show some differences in brain structure in trans individuals which make them more similar to a typical male brain

There is no such thing as MAN BRAIN / LADY BRAIN. Or are you saying that most trans women are men anyway? Because I'd agree with you there.

stillHereStill · 27/09/2018 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

thiskitten · 27/09/2018 16:04

OP your thread is about a feminist issue - so why is it here on AIBU?
I support trans people. No one should ever be discriminated against for such things. People have the right to wear whatever they want.
However the undertone for the current discourse is that lipstick, high heels and being a bit slutty are the very core of what it to be a woman. Oh no, it's got nothing to do with having female reproductive organs - that's totally irrelevant to women! Being a woman is all about long hair, lipstick, glitter and PINK! The very definition of "woman" is being moved away from biology and reduced to the very stereotypes that women have fought against for so long.

Men are mansplaining to women what it is to be a woman. And that is a problem.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 16:05

The saddest part is your nonsense stats. Which ones? The ones from the ONS?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 16:08

You see, stillhere that little chart may not be from the ONS, but the figures are. Very easy to look up, which is what I did in the post before it.

If you want to argue with something be sure ou know what it is first.

Unless of course , you are a conspiracy theorist who believes the ONS data is deliberately wrong!

stillHereStill · 27/09/2018 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Datun · 27/09/2018 16:13

According to research 5,500 sexual offences, including 600 rapes in UK schools, were reported to the police in the three years to July 2015.

The government has pledged to produce guidelines for schools to prevent children being forced to share classes with pupils who have raped or sexually assaulted them

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/boy-rapists-expect-girls-to-cry-during-sex-says-activist-7z7r06lqr

The real irony here is it is the girl guides own survey that's produced these stats.

Up to 60% of girls and young women aged 13 to 21 report sexual harassment at school or college, according to the Girls’ Attitudes survey. More must be done to tackle this widespread problem

Girls as young as seven are experiencing sexual taunts from boys, says new research from Girlguiding UK. The charity’s report reveals that sexism and harassment are becoming a part of daily life for British girls, with almost 60% of girls and young women aged 13 to 21 reporting sexual harassment at school or college and 20% experiencing unwanted touching (a form of sexual assault). The Girls’ Attitudes survey, which polled more than 1,400 girls and young women across the UK, warns that such experiences are coming to be seen as just “a normal aspect of being a girl”.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/dec/02/sexual-harassment-party-daily-life-british-girls-girlguiding-uk

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 16:19

What's so difficult to understand in that? You said Datun's stats are nonsense. Consider the source of those stats...

MrsFogi · 27/09/2018 18:22

OP YABtotallyU - people post where they see fit and in life as on MN not everything fits neatly into one category only. Just as someone may post about breastfeeding in pregnancy, tutoring in secondary education, etc etc many issues that are discussed on what is a parenting site could be classed as "feminist" topics depending on how the question is phrased and how posters interpret and/or answer the OP. This is the nature of an open forum and if you are going to try to police where people post it will soon become ridiculous. If you don't want to engage with a post, don't - some posts take off and others wither sooner or later depending on what mners are interested or not interested in on any given day. That is how it should be. Clearly this week given the Girl Guides story there will be lots of threads on this - and why not? People are entitled to discuss it like any other topic. And if people should only be "allowed" to discuss it on a small area of the site we should all be very, very concerned.....

UnderHerEye · 27/09/2018 18:31

What you really mean is OP is you don’t want posters raising awareness of these issues.

We see you.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 18:44

To be fair, Under OP has said she is having a rethink.

I'm happy to give her all the time and information she needs...

Alaaya · 27/09/2018 18:48

I personally really wish that this stuff would stay on Feminist Chat or whatever, because the conversation about trans stuff always makes me so grumpy and it really negatively impacts on my opinions on a load of posters which then horribly clouds my ability to interact with them anywhere else, and they probably feel the same about me.

Which just seems like such a shame. It's such a waste disliking people over a single issue. I wish the issue could be kept somewhere where people who want to engage with it can, and if you don't, you can just mute the entire topic or something.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 18:52

You do know that many posters have read that and have made all sorts of judgements of you based on it, many negative,not least because you can 'mute' the topic.

Don't click on the thread, hide it if/when you do!

You take action, you manage your own disappointment. Don's ask the world, or Mumsnet, to change to suit you!

HainaultViaNewburyPark · 27/09/2018 18:55

Whatever happened to live and let live, accepting each other as individuals and, you know, a little bit of kindness?

That has to work both ways though, doesn’t it? And it only works for individuals - not for lobby groups.

I’m perfectly happy to deal with each transwoman I meet as an individual. I’ll use their chosen pronouns, and treat them with the same dignity and respect that I’d treat any other individual.

But I’m not going to stand by and let TRA groups erase my identity. They do not get to pretend that biology isn’t real. They don’t get to shut down debates on issues that affect my day-to-day life by simply stating that anything I experience which is linked to my sex is transphobic. They do not get to decide that language which describes female bodies is anathema because it excludes and/or offends transwomen. They do not get to tell me what feminism should be, and how I’m doing it wrong.

Datun · 27/09/2018 18:55

Which just seems like such a shame. It's such a waste disliking people over a single issue

Oh for gods sake.

I know transwomen. I'm incredibly fond of them.

This isn't about disliking people. Do you seriously think that feminists, who historically have championed every minority going, from homosexuals, to the disabled, wome affected by austerity, working-class women, to religiously persecuted women are suddenly turning into raging bigots?

This is about a direct threat to women's rights. Which will see women's gains rolled back by decades.

The gains, incidentally, which allow you to even have a public opinion on this.

I can handle disagreement. I can't handle misrepresentation based on misinformation.

starzig · 27/09/2018 19:02

God yes. Piss off with your 'all men are rapists' pish. If I want to laugh at you I can go on the feminist boards,

Datun · 27/09/2018 19:09

Piss off with your 'all men are rapists' pish. If I want to laugh at you I can go on the feminist boards,

Not all men, but only men.

Why don't women just take a slash where they stand, next to a tree?

DollyDayScream · 27/09/2018 19:10

Hmmm, you want less talk about feminist issues and more talk about penises....

Is Mumsnet the right place for you at all?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/09/2018 19:11

all men are rapists Said nobody on Mumsnet, ever... unless they were trying to make a point and couldn't find anything any poster really had said that was equally silly!

Not even a 1/10. Must try harder!

Nicknamesalltaken · 27/09/2018 19:12

That’s exactly why, Starzig, it’s good to have the conversations on AIBU.

Because not all men are rapists but the abusers, harassers, humilators of women are overwhelmingly men.

Datun · 27/09/2018 19:15

Although, to be fair, can be pretty funny on feminism chat.

We have someone, at the moment, for instance, who says they help out with the housework and wear their wife's leggings which makes them gender fluid.

Slightly undermining their position by then claiming that all feminists hate men.

UpToHereHelen · 27/09/2018 19:24

I really am sick of this shit.

I promised myself I wasn’t going to come back here because all of this crap is beginning to affect me in real life but I honestly am sick to death of all of this.

I’m a transwoman and I used to post on here a fair bit so if you recognise me can you please just keep it to yourself as I have enough of this crap to deal with.

We cannot keep quiet about this. People need to keep speaking out and making sure everyone knows what is going on. We need to keep on shouting over the transactivists and we need to keep pushing back against them because if we don’t they are going to take us all down and destroy us all. We cannot let them win.

Every single day I keep seeing my identity as a transwoman being stripped away from me. Every day I see aggressive and bullying TRA’s push and push to try and turn being trans into something shameful. I’m watching them trying and bloody succeeding to take away my rights and protections.

I’m seeing them successfully take away women’s rights. My sisters are both sporty and I’m terrified that one day in the not so distant future they are going to have to allow a male bodied person compete with and/or against them or else they’ll be labelled bigots. I’m scared that they are being told to ignore their boundaries and their instincts in favour of some blokes feelings because apparently that blokes feelings is more important. I’m scared that rape survivors like that of my mother are being told that they don’t matter and that they have to share spaces with male bodied people and they just have to put up and shut up.

I’m terrified that young people with crippling gender dysphoria are being thrown under a bus and having their mental health support taken away from them because it’s somehow apparently “transphobic”. As an adult I can look back now and am quite frankly so bloody grateful that I grew up when I did and not right now. There is no doubt in my mind that if I had been growing up now crippled with gender dysphoria then I would probably be dead. This is not how it is meant to be. Things are meant to get better for people struggling, not worse.

Trans rights activists don’t give a damn about transwomen such as myself. All they care about is beating up women and yelling at women who dare to disagree with them. People like me are just being used as a convenient scapegoat for them which is utterly sick. Nope, not having it.

Ever notice how you’ll never see a trans activist actually addressing genuine transphobia. I’ve been on the receiving end of all kinds of transphobia from insults to being spat on, glassed, sexually assaulted, beat up…yet you never hear TRA’s or anyone who is so keen to shout “transphobia!” attempt to address anything like that. You might see them virtue signal about it occasionally when they’re attempting to guilt trip women into letting us into their intimate spaces but you’ll never see them actually attempt to address it or discuss what we can do to change these things. Have a think about why that might be. Of course TRA’s would much rather yell at women who discuss biology than actually you know fight for trans rights.

I have actually been assaulted recently by a controlling twat who mistook for a TRA (because obviously all transwomen are TRA’s and agree with everything they say…) simply because I’m trans. He thought I was one of those piss taking creeps who are obsessed with getting into women’s spaces when really I have no interest.

People need to start opening their eyes and start realising trans people are suffering in amongst this mess too. Perhaps when they do realise that they’ll quite trying to be so woke and right on and actually have a think about what they’re doing and who they’re actually supporting.

Trans people are not idiots despite what TRA’s want you to believe. I know I’m not female and I know you can’t change sex. I can alter my body to make it look like a woman but I’m not stupid. I know I will never somehow magically become a woman. I have never met a trans person who genuinely believes they can change sex. We all know we will always be the sex we were born.

The bottom line is that people need to start thinking critically and we need to stop this now. And people need to stop accusing other people of being transphobic when it’s clear they don’t give a crap about trans people themselves. All people are doing is getting other people’s backs up and ensuring that genuine transphobia is no longer taken seriously which I’m pretty sure is one of the aims of this whole thing.

It has gone too far now and in the end it will be everybody (other than perhaps straight men) who will suffer the consequences of this.

WomanAKAAdultHumanFemale · 27/09/2018 19:28

Helen, that was brilliant. I'm not familiar with your other posts and I wish you would post more. It's always helpful to have a sane transwoman perspective.

Troongirl · 27/09/2018 19:29

Yabvu

Feminism literally means equality for 52% of the human race. It's a pertinent important and never ending struggle. It's very very relevant. Why don't you pop over to "chat" instead, if you would like things a bit more light and fluffy.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 27/09/2018 19:33

HereHelenFlowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread