To think that if your thread is about a feminist issue you should post on the feminist board

[Shallishanti123]

Just that really. Too many feminist board type threads disguised as AIBUs, but really wanting to bash trans or whoever they feel like hating on right now.

Let’s just all be who we are and lead a happy life.

Helen

Despite my user name I have a lot of sympathy for transsexuals. How appalling this is for transsexuals is part of my ongoing discussions with my MP.

Bravo Helen 👏👏👏👏👏

Oh Helen, that was really good. I’m ashamed now that I didn’t know what was going on properly- I didn’t know about the TRAs being different from trans and the whole point of this was that I felt sick of seeing trans being complained about... when really it’s the TRAs who are causing all the pain.

OP: I posted a thread about girls being raped and sexually assaulted by male classmates (it was nothing to do with the trans issue) on this board a couple of weeks ago. I thought - this being 'for parents, by parents' - it would get a fair bit of traffic.

It sank without trace very quickly. Seems that too man people on here want to shut their eyes and ears to what's going on that will massively affect their children's lies, but they're perfectly happy to push a thread to hundreds if it's about their favourite TV programmes.

In fact, I was even accused of "hyperbole" by someone. For wanting to draw parents' attention to a real risk to their children.

So - lay off policing the forum, eh? Because if some of us don't persist in drawing people's attention to issues which can and will significantly harm your kids - and by that I mean by insisting that safeguarding is crucial - the risks to your kids will increase at a scale too terrifying to contemplate.

@Shallishanti123 . I think there are a lot of people who don't realise what is going on.

VickyEadie scary isn’t it, the disinterest in safeguarding on a parenting board. There seem to be more and more posters who have reached adulthood having been raised on a diet of porn and internet grooming, and now have children of their own. Disturbing.

However the reason why we need to keep talking about this is precisely because people just genuinely just don't know.

This should be in site stuff or pedants corner.

Plants, people don't know and they do need to know. I still can't get over Stefonknee I guess the problem is that if you don't know about it a then you can never start to even contemplate it happens - because normal brains wouldn't suddenly start thinking people would do that.

Helen Thank you so much for your post. It is shocking what is being done and how many people are suffering under the guise of 'trans rights'.

OP - YABU. This is issue is MASSIVE and those of us who see it will not stop shouting. It's too important.

It’s the fear that the person next to you in dotty p’s changing room may have a penis etc. Don’t you think that person has a hard enough life as it is?

Why on earth must someone who's Transgender have had a hard life? I have a family member who is transsexual and has a fab life. Great job, on good money, married to a nice bloke.

Lots of people have tough times. I'm not sure why that means that self ID should be public policy?

Be upstanding RTFT

I've already been told this, I know I was BU... I'm being educated.

when really it’s the TRAs who are causing all the pain.

Someone recently suggested calling them AWAs- Anti Women Activists. I think that's a much better name. They seem far more interested in shutting women up than in actually advancing trans rights.

People need to start opening their eyes and start realising trans people are suffering in amongst this mess too.

This. Self ID won't happen. They'll lose. They've woken a sleeping giant. In some ways there will be positives for feminism from this, but I do worry about the backlash for transsexuals.

Fab post from Helen. If you are who I think, welcome back.

I fully support trans rights but not where it erodes women's rights.

^^
InfiniteSheldon This 1000 times! Thank you.

UpToHereHelen

Was one of your previous names something like Helen HW?

If so, I remember you.

You successfully showed me the difference between TRAs and transwomen.

Although neither cohort are women.

Which I know you agree with.

Shalli to you. It takes a brave heart to take such a pasting and to educate yourself and change your mind. I remember when I realised what was going on when talking to one of my aunt's oldest friends, a trans woman who transitioned years ago and thinks very similar to Helen above. It was like the scales fell from my eyes and I couldn't understand why everyone else couldn't see it too. This is a threat not just to women but to "genuine" trans people who I believe are called horrible things like "scum" themselves by trans activists.

Even now my own lovely lefty liberal DH has not reached his own "peak trans" moment and currently thinks I'm some kind of obsessed conspiracy theorist. He's asked me to stop talking about it and sending him outraged, furious links. Because it doesn't affect him and there are so few trans people in the general population he seems to feel it's no big deal.

I can fully understand the fear behind self ID. I also understand the point Helen makes about the difference between trans and TRA.

But all the posts that I see state how no one with a penis should be allowed into the womens toilets, changing rooms etc.

Where then are trans women meant to go to the toilet or to get changed for swimming?

You are all thanking Helen for their post. But you wouldn't be ok with them going into the women's toilet or swimming pool changing room. So you want someone living as a woman, dressing as a woman etc to go into the men's toilet? Is that what @UpToHereHelen wants?

Please someone explain to me how we can treat genuine trans women with dignity in public spaces if we are simultaneously fighting against TRAs. This is my conflict.

UptohereHelen * for you. I'm sorry you have been caught in the crossfire of all this.
*
OP - and to you- well done for listening. For thinking.

Please someone explain to me how we can treat genuine trans women with dignity in public spaces if we are simultaneously fighting against TRAs. This is my conflict.

You can't. That's the simple answer. And you have TRAs to blame for that.

They hijacked the movement, jumped on the bandwagon and now there's no telling one from t'other.

@BrownPaperTeddy

Transwomen have always used female toilets though. It's not a new right they have suddenly gained.

I can't speak for anyone else but I would have no problem with a transwoman like Helen using the female loos.

Changing rooms are a little more difficult as a lot of them in leisure centres and gyms are communal.

@UptohereHelen cracking post. I salute you.

@Datun

Exactly. And this is yet another way the TRA's have fucked it up for transsexuals.

A lot of women wouldn't have cared prior to all this if a transwoman went for a pee in the cubicle next to them. I certainly wouldn't.

Now however I feel a lot of us would naturally be suspicious because we can no longer tell the difference between someone harmless or someone who is taking the piss.

And I feel this is now why a lot of woman are defaulting to a no for all transwomen.

@PlantsArePeopleToo and @Datun

This is what I just don't understand. I see so many posts saying that everyone wants to see genuine trans people treated with dignity - so what do genuine trans woman do today, tomorrow, next week while they are out working, shopping, living?

Those who are at school - how are they being treated whilst this is going on?

I honestly can see that some sort of militant TRA campaign is going on and that many people are caught in the crossfire but there is something in my head that is just not understanding.

So many different ideas are put forward on these threads - some posters say they are fully accepting of genuine trans women but are concerned about some men abusing self ID (I agree) then someone else comments that it's not just adult men but children that they are concerned about and then quote rape in school figures, then another poster says they're not worried about rape but about consensual sex happening between a trans girl who might be a confused boy and another girl, then someone else says no men or boys no matter how they identify because girls/women might want to discuss periods and so it goes on. It's like there are hundreds of issues - some about trans women but actually a lot about the fact that some men commit crimes against women and even more about the fact that women might feel uncomfortable around men.

So is this an argument against TRAs or men in general?

UptohereHelen

Thank you for your brilliant post. I too am sorry that you've been caught up in this awful mess.