BrownPaperTeddy I appreciate your fence sitting - as I said, these cases are hard and there is no "right" answer, just people having discussions amongst themselves, with their elected representatives, in parliament, and to eventually make or change laws. However I would fasten on this: "in this case I'm not convinced that either one or both parties is of sound mind to want to be party to it." - I am guessing you feel this way because letting someone lop off your leg, say, and eat it is such a huge and negative event that you must not be of sound mind to even consider it. Many people feel this way about gender reassignment surgery when they find out the extent of physical damage that ensues and what it entails.
I think the reason people are talking about the scars and saying to google the surgery is because declaring that you're trans and then going down the road to surgery is often presented by trans activists as no big deal. Like coming out of the closet as gay, lesbian or bi. Just a statement about personal feelings, identity and lifestyle, another stripe on the rainbow flag, another letter in LGBTQ+, finding your tribe who understand that you are different and special. And then when schools, friends, social media and doctors not only affirm that statement but celebrate it, give them attention, say they're so stunning and brave, that they have done this wonderful thing to help their mental health, that they have been honest and true to themselves - that can make it very difficult to row back when the pressure is then on to take hormones and eventually, have surgery that many people truly have no idea how serious and life-altering it is. To find out what it entails is a real shocker to most.
Even trans people who have been through surgery and all the counselling beforehand are often blindsided by the physical effects. I don't know any trans men but I know two transwomen, one who transitioned in 1995 and one in 2010. I wasn't old enough to remember the first, but I know she couldn't dance again after her surgery because of the huge physical changes (she was a professional dancer). I do remember the second and she couldn't walk for months, complications with basically every single bodily function leading to repeated infection as well as all the "usual" things that can happen after surgery like abscesses around her stitches, huge bloating and gas, referred pain all over her body during the recover. It's 8 years on and she still is in pain sometimes, sometimes walks with an umbrella because she doesn't want to admit she needs a stick, and will probably never have a sexual relationship again. She kind of "knew" that these things were risks, signed every paper, sat through months of pre-surgery appointments but I honestly don't think she realised how truly life-changing it would be, and she is in her 50s.
The very sad thing is that while she was going through taking hormones, living as a woman, having lots of counselling (we had a party when she got the letter saying she was accepted at Charing Cross!) - she was really excited, happy, fulfilled - huge attention from friends, family, doctors - and stopped taking anti-Ds for the first time in her life and it seemed to all of us that it was proof-positive that transition was the right decision. Now I'm not so sure - while she puts on a very brave front I don't think she's as happy now as she had hoped, she is very lonely, couldn't continue working in her previous career so she is financially vulnerable and had to move away from support networks, the underlying mental health issues that were probably always there have returned, and in addition she has permanent physical limitations from surgery. It makes me very sad and it's like a huge elephant in the room that we cannot talk about, ever.