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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday fall out

484 replies

Starleaf · 26/09/2018 18:32

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 28/09/2018 13:42

His very odd.
I feel quite sorry for her girls being stuck in the middle of this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/09/2018 13:51

How did you get to the resort? Does one of you have a car at the airport the other end?

This is just a nightmare all because you wanted to go for a dance.

I know that people are saying there must be something else to it. I bet there isn’t. Or rather that she’s holding grudges about stupid things like not liking the present you gave her 3 years ago or that you didn’t have time for her once when you had flu and another time when you were skint and couldn’t go out for a while.

Furrycushion · 28/09/2018 14:21

Much as I'd be tempted to tell her not to bother emailing (what a coward she is!), I'd be curious to know, do I'd probably block her after that. Whatever her reasons, she has ruined your holiday.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/09/2018 14:38

I’d be curious as to why I’d now been given the chop like so many others.

In a way you’d want to know so that you can send her some 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 emoticons with “soooo glad I didn’t block you before I read that”.

But I would rather keep my dignity.

Starleaf · 28/09/2018 14:41

We have a coach transfer to airport tomorrow, and I've sorted getting home from airport.
Seats on flight are 3 gang way then another 3. They'll sit together and I'll have the seat other side of gang way.
She's already beat me to it, realised last night she's unfriended me on FB! Do you know, I'd not even thought about doing that.
Must say though it really has helped chatting to you all. Thank you.

OP posts:
flowergrrl77 · 28/09/2018 14:41

Omg you have to let her email you! Just so you’re able to give MNettrrs some closure! 🤣

Sparklyfee · 28/09/2018 14:46

Definitely let us know her reasons! Grin

marvellousnightforamooncup · 28/09/2018 14:47

Well done OP. I must say you've held up well under such provocation from her and from a twatty Mumsnet minority. It seems there'll always be a contingent of contrary bastards who tie themselves up in knots trying to catch OPs out, coupled by loads of others with questionable reading comprehension.

I hope you've managed to salvage some good times from your holiday. At least you can be sure the friendship is completely over and there's no point in trying to salvage any of it. She's awful and you're better off without her.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 28/09/2018 14:48

Tbh she's playing the drama lama punishing game. Believe me she expects you to refriend her. She wants you chasing.

Her email will be condemning and blaming and hurtful. I would enjoy your last night free from her and block her on everything including email. Or would she post it?

Do you have mutual friends? I would be honest and open with them about your fall out

Lepetitpiggy · 28/09/2018 14:57

How very bizarre. I've just been on holiday with a friend and was, I admit, concerned we may argue or fall out as we have known each other for only about three years and haven't been away for longer than a weekend together - as it happened, we had one petty argument which could have escalated but we both let it lie then talked it through and it was over in about an hour! this sounds ridiculous.

cheesefield · 28/09/2018 14:59

Wow. What the fuck is wrong with her? I'm curious to see what she says in her email. It sounds like she's built something up massively in her head that didn't even happen. Can you think of nothing else that could have happened?

browneyes77 · 28/09/2018 15:04

She sounds unhinged!

But you’ve said she has form for doing things like this so she’ll run out of friends eventually if she keeps behaving in this way.

I’m amazed you kept your cool for so long. I’d have lost my shit long before now.

What ‘home truths’ did you tell her and what was her response when you gave her a bit back?

Starleaf · 28/09/2018 15:04

whatever yes we did have a couple of mutual friends, but she fell out with them! One of them especially said she was fed up with the drama. It's just made me think, that fall out happened on her birthday last year!...

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 28/09/2018 15:06

As she’s unfriended you, do you think she’s posted something horrid on Facebook about you? Does she have form for posting things about ex friends / partners?

I agree with Heatwave. She wants you to chase her and her email will be “condemning and blaming and hurtful”.

Do you like her kids? If you manage to get them alone I’d consider apologising to them for them having to witness the fall out from their mother deciding to unfriend you. You would be doing them a kindness as I think they’re too scared to do anything other than obey their mother.

MrsStrowman · 28/09/2018 15:17

This sounds like a bizarre combination of people for a holiday, of the 19&21 year olds wanted a clubbing holiday surely they'd be better off without mum and mum's friend tagging along, and of it was a family holiday why in a resort with sports bars and a strip??

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/09/2018 15:23

MrsStrowman
Yes, I would have thought the holiday would be the young adults doing their own thing and op and her ex friend doing the same, meeting up at certain points / going to dinner together.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 28/09/2018 15:32

she really is vile, you are well out of it

TemptressofWaikiki · 28/09/2018 15:56

Sounds like your ex friend is on a power trip to make you wait for an email with her grievances. I’d block her on all social media now since she unfriended you, as well as on your phone, email and any other form of communication. Save yourself the drama. She has form for this with other friends and family members, eventually she was going to pull the same sort of crap with you. Not all friendships are meant to last forever and you are not her emotional punch bag. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

GinIsIn · 28/09/2018 15:58

Did you not raise her behaviour when she fell out with all your other friends?

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 28/09/2018 16:03

Bizzare!

Starleaf · 28/09/2018 16:05

She is over protective of the girls. Sometimes to a degree where she treats them like young children. There have been many disagreements between them over this. Like if the 21yr old goes out for the evening, friend will constantly msg her. If she doesn't get a reply she goes ballistic. I've been there and witnessed some of these fall outs.
I mentioned earlier our resort is pretty low key, not a young singles sort of place.
Girls always come with us, although last holiday the youngest didn't want to. Friend made it very difficult for her, and tried to talk her into coming. But she didn't come in the end. I'm going up for a shower now, then to shop across the road for something to eat.

OP posts:
Bloodyfucksake · 28/09/2018 16:06

Hi Starleaf sorry this is happening. You Don't need friends like that. I think previous posters are right. Block block block. She wants you to feel bad - for days! That's not friendship.
Be polite, but don't try to be friendly and just enjoy your books until you are home and Don't have to see her again.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 28/09/2018 16:09

Block her. It won't make any difference to you whatever piss poor excuse she has for this behaviour.

It will just make her feel like she has the upper hand by ripping into you.

Move on, she'll have no friends left soon.

Loopy3585 · 28/09/2018 16:28

Did you say you’d sorted the transport back from airport? I’d be telling her that she now has to sort getting herself back

BadLad · 28/09/2018 16:29

Friend said she'll email me once home to let me know her feelings and what this is all about. Think I'll tell her not to bother later, I'm done with her, no longer interested in anything she has to say.

But the people reading this thread are very interested.