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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday fall out

484 replies

Starleaf · 26/09/2018 18:32

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 27/09/2018 18:11

She's sounds like high maintenance- I'd just chill and enjoy the rest of your holiday

dustarr73 · 27/09/2018 18:11

Ah so she has form.Well enjoy your last few days and ignore her.Go and do your own hing and chances are you will find someone to hang around with.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/09/2018 18:12

Sounds as if you have good mental health if you can front it out. She is trying to bully you. Drink the prosecco, eat cake and enjoy the next couple of days.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 27/09/2018 18:12

Sorry this happened OP. For a 40 something woman ( your ex friend) dragging it on to the next day is pathetic.
Who are you sharing a room with now?

Coyoacan · 27/09/2018 18:32

That sounds absolutely awful, I've got a knot in my stomach just reading it!

Me too!

One thing is to get grumpy and be a bit out of order (which happens to the best of us at times), another thing is to end a friendship over it.

Iloveacurry · 27/09/2018 18:35

She sounds pathetic. Enjoy the rest of your holiday and ignore her.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/09/2018 18:46

That's exactly what you should do Starleaf, some friend she is !
Drink the Prosecco while you're at it. 😄🌺

Godowneasy · 27/09/2018 18:52

Order more Prosecco! It won't change the situation, but you may not be so bothered about it...

GabsAlot · 27/09/2018 18:58

very odd reaction from her and now her kids

i wold try dinner and see what happens

MimiSunshine · 27/09/2018 19:11

OP she sounds just like a friend I had. I’m sure if you really look back at your friendship you’ll find that it’s always been fine because you’ve gone along with her.

My ex friend fell out with me because I didn’t pay for an expensive facial for her after I’d arranged a pamper day for her for her birthday.
I’d already paid for us to get manicures and paid for a few other little treats, I was a student and didn’t have money to burn. But that didn’t matter, apparently I should have covered her whole day.

Fuck her. Don’t ignore them, tell them your plans, say they’re welcome to join you but don’t grovel or take any crap

Starleaf · 27/09/2018 19:19

Bluntness yes friend has suffered depression on and off over the years I've known her. She has encountered many problems, but always said I was her rock and wouldn't have got through it all without me. That's why I really don't understand her behaviour now.
As they were on their way out for dinner, I very calmly said if we were in school (we both worked in school, that's where we met) what she is doing here would be considered bullying. She just kept walking with the kids trailing behind. Her eldest gave me an embarrassed look and said goodbye.
I've face timed family, had some cake and am now sitting on the balcony enjoying the warm evening.

OP posts:
Sparklyfee · 27/09/2018 19:20

That sounds awful from your update. Don't let them get you down, not worth it.

Sparklyfee · 27/09/2018 19:25

Get yourself some wine and local nibbles. Party for one on the balcony. Set up your stall before they get back or she'll be out commandeering use of that space too! Sounds like a bully, not surprised her daughter is embarrassed

Kaybush · 27/09/2018 19:33

OP I sympathise.

Years ago I went to Ibiza for two weeks with my then best friend. My dad gave her spending money as she couldn't afford it.

Halfway through she just abandoned me to go and stay with friends in another part of the island, leaving me to seek out acquaintances in a nearby village (quite awkward).

A couple of weeks later, back in the UK, I found out she'd been telling everyone that I'd stolen her spending money 😮.

We didn't speak for years because of this, and when I mentioned it years later at a chance meeting she said she couldn't remember and we just needed to 'move on'!

I think I sort of lost my innocence on that holiday.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 27/09/2018 19:36

It dounds like she is punishing you. I had an ex friend who did this for no or very little reason. I suspect the last day or after that she will be saying you are silly for having fallen out.

I would ignore her and continue to do your own thing. She wants you upset and in your room. Don't pander too her. Now you know why they fall out with her.

BrisaOtonal · 27/09/2018 19:38

OP, she is treating you like shit and she thinks she can do so because she's got backup and doesn't think you will call her out in front of her DC. She is a horrible bully and doesn't deserve a friend like you.

Do you know the saying that "the best revenge is to live well". Even if you don't feel it you need to put a smile on your face, hold your head up high and go down to breakfast on your own, find a space by the pool and sit there and not give her the satisfaction of ruining the rest of your holiday. You need to show her that her behaviour doesn't stop you.

Sorry this has happened. You need to dump her as a friend. You deserve better.

BrisaOtonal · 27/09/2018 19:43

I suspect the last day or after that she will be saying you are silly for having fallen out.

If she does tell her that you have seen her true colours and would rather not.

EK36 · 27/09/2018 19:53

I feel so sorry for you. Can you catch an earlier flight home?

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 27/09/2018 19:54

BrisaOtonal that is the best way. I was a mug several times before i cut her off. It hurts.

Thisismadness · 27/09/2018 20:09

She sounds awful. I feel bad for her kids too, they must feel really awkward. Enjoy the last couple of days as best you can then move on.

Mummyof0ne · 27/09/2018 20:11

The other friend is 100% @mypointofview

Hilarious!!!!

She sounds like a right spoilt brat

Just part ways fornthr remainer of the holibobs and have fun

Snowymountainsalways · 27/09/2018 20:27

Star I am sorry she has been so unkind to you. Make the most of the sun and once you are home you will feel a lot better than you do now.

Jlynhope · 27/09/2018 21:27

Star she sounds like a nasty piece of work. I feel sorry for her children... I bet they are embarrassed! Enjoy yourself and forget about her and her bitterness.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/09/2018 22:19

Hope you're okay Star, have a hug ! ⭐️🍾

BerylStreep · 27/09/2018 22:31

I'd download lots of books on your ipad and spend the rest of the holiday reading.

It's horrible to feel excluded like that. Have you anything you can plan to do tomorrow on your own? Any trips you can do?

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