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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday fall out

484 replies

Starleaf · 26/09/2018 18:32

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

OP posts:
EK36 · 29/09/2018 15:16

Feeling so sorry for you. What awful bullying/excluding behavour from your 'friend'. I must say, you've handled it brilliantly. Hope you get home safely. I really wouldn't try again with her. When you get back, make lots of plans with other friends and family.

divafever99 · 29/09/2018 15:38

You have done well to stay the week op, think I would have tried to get an earlier flight! I hope you manage to sit a long way away from her on the plane, and never have to put up with her shit again!

Boobing · 29/09/2018 15:45

Well done OP, I’ve been following this thread for a few nights and you’re a better person than me. Move on, you don’t need people like that in your life.

Starleaf · 29/09/2018 15:47

Thanks all. Off down to reception now.

OP posts:
Starleaf · 29/09/2018 15:49

Just had a thought, you have to pay room tax now. Wonder if they've paid theirs...suppose I'll soon find out! They didn't leave a tip for the maid, I've left some money.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2018 15:51

Then the mug is some kind of message. Perhaps along the lines that she didn’t enjoy that holiday with you either and obliterating you out of existence. Or denying to herself you ever were ever friends or enjoyed being on holiday together and the very fact you took the photo would be a reminder.

In any case mean girl, warped thoughts of someone not in a good place.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2018 15:52

Mmmm possibly not.

HalloumiGus · 29/09/2018 15:54

Poor OP and poor daughters too. We have a family member who can be a bit unhinged like this. I have much less contact than previously because of it. Life is simpler and calmer - yours will be too Flowers

Ps - I had an email like the one your 'friend' is planning to send. Don't read it - it will only make you cross.

Boobing · 29/09/2018 15:55

Not long now OP, just the journey home. Like someone said earlier in the thread, can you discreetly ask if there are empty seats?

Groovee · 29/09/2018 16:05

Safe journey home.

I would have to set up an out of office reply to her email "your email cannot be sent at this time as it was marked as spam by yahoo"

crispysausagerolls · 29/09/2018 16:16

Classic that she took the gifts of value but left the sentimental one - what a bitch

Badhairday77 · 29/09/2018 18:21

Safe journey home op.

mommybear1 · 29/09/2018 18:34

Safe journey home OP Thanks

BewareOfDragons · 29/09/2018 18:35

Hope your trip home is uneventful.

Sorry your friend turned out to be a bullying bitch. I'm glad you can see that and are done with her.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 29/09/2018 18:52

hope you have a good trip home

bettytaghetti · 29/09/2018 19:00

Could you post the mug back to her once you get home, but not pay the postage, so that she has to go to the post office & pay the fee before finding out what it is? Make sure the address is typed so that she doesn't recognise your handwriting.

BerylStreep · 29/09/2018 19:42

The thing that strikes me is the amount of effort you went to for her birthday. Perfume, fizz, personalised mug, cake, card. I find that strange between two adult women. Do you feel you need to go to a lot of effort to gain her approval? Does (did) she reciprocate to the same degree?

Coco2891 · 29/09/2018 20:39

You could have told Airport staff you saw a woman acting suspiciously and sweating a lot 🤭 hope you're home safe now can put it all behind you , you handled it great-much better than I would have x

FunSponges · 29/09/2018 20:50

I would have smashed the mug and posted it to her saying "you left this behind" 😆. What a bitch. I'd need the email though, because I'd want to know her non reason and it would bug me forever more not to know. But I wouldn't reply unless it was

Dear BitchFace

Thank you kindly for your email.

Go Fuck Yourself.

Kind Regards

StarLeaf

Starlight345 · 29/09/2018 22:43

Assume you are in the air by now . Safe journey

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/09/2018 00:53

Beryl
I thought that as well. A lot of effort and almost the level a parent would do for a child.

JingsMahBucket · 30/09/2018 01:32

@BerylStreep and @Mummyoflittledragon 🙄 this is the same level best friends would do for each other. Just because people in your friend circle wouldn’t do it, that doesn’t mean it’s weird. It’s just different.

I can’t stand the anti-birthday crowd on MN. Take that crotchetiness elsewhere. In real life, adult people do things for their adult friends and their efforts are appreciated.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/09/2018 02:02

@JingsMahBucket
I find your eye roll offensive and am glad I’m not in your competitive friendship group then.

I’m sure some women spend £70/£80 on fizz, cake, presents, cards, banners etc for their friends without a second thought. But most don’t. And this is the sort of budget a lot of people have for their children.

Flyaway78 · 30/09/2018 02:47

Hey OP hope you're home and ok. Sadly your "friend' turned out to be less that that. I'd swerve her from now on if I were you.

dustarr73 · 30/09/2018 02:50

@Mummyoflittledragon and @Berylstreep are in the minority on thos thread

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