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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday fall out

484 replies

Starleaf · 26/09/2018 18:32

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

OP posts:
Starleaf · 29/09/2018 11:02

Just had to run back to the room. Heavy rain, thunder and lightning!
They've gone. I've had a look round, bottle of fizz, perfume I gave her, all the remaining drinking water and my card are gone. She's left a personalised coffee mug behind that I also gave her on her bday.
Rain seems to be easing a little so will hopefully get a couple of hours by the pool, if not I have the comfort of the apartment until 6pm.

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 29/09/2018 11:12

She sounds a joy. And very petty.

Can’t believe she took the gifts but left the mug. And took all the water!

I’ve recently had a falling out with a friend and her first action was to unfriend me on Fitbit. Then post stupid memes on FB. Then unfollow me on Instagram - which I never actually post in so it was purely done so I would get the notification that she had unfollowed me! The pettiness and juvenile behaviour of someone in their 40s just crystallised my views of her.

cushioncovers · 29/09/2018 11:26

I think you've handled it well op. Definitely dump her ass and move on.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 29/09/2018 12:15

Unbelievably petty. Well they’re going to have a fun last day. Not.

HolyFuckNuggets · 29/09/2018 12:15

Off topic but...you get a notification if someone unfollows you on Instagram?? Shit.....

Sit on your balcony with a nice drink and hope she sees you while she has to sit at the hotel bar for the duration. She reminds me so, so much of my Aunt who would do this to my Mum in heartbeat and her kids would be too scared to say much but would sympathise with Mum because they know their own Mum is hard work. It reads like something I can absolutely have seen happening if they'd all been on holiday and my Mum would have been devastated but reacted as you have (then came home to us and bawled her eyes out). It's just the behaviour of a bully so you have lost nothing more than a few days holiday as she's not even a friend.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 29/09/2018 12:34

Make sure you lock the door so they can't get back in.

I'm in the block on email / divert her emails back to her email address camp and block her from all other forms of contact. It will wind her up and there is nothing she could say that would make her behaviour reasonable.

She has had several days to tell you what her problem is but has been too gutless, preferring instead to bully you and then continue this from behind her keyboard when she gets home. Fuck that shit 😠

HB2Me · 29/09/2018 12:36

Yes - I hope she sees you on the balcony. She sounds awful OP.

Reading your updates made me anxious even thinking about it. You’ve done so well to get on with things the best you can.

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 29/09/2018 12:40

Does she have a history of odd behaviour? Or do you have a history of dragging her to places she doesn't want to go and this was the last straw for her?

I just really don't understand how someone can act like this without a reason.

fieryginger · 29/09/2018 12:47

It's nearly all over op, you never need to deal with her again. I hope you don't try to talk to her again if every time you do, she becomes aggressive. Don't give her the satisfaction. Hang on in there, you'll be home soon.

LucieMorningstar · 29/09/2018 12:53

In a few years time I reckon the eldest daughter will be on here posting about her narcissistic mother.

Whisky2014 · 29/09/2018 12:56

Yeh deffo do not read her email.
I feel so sad for you but you seem to have handled this well. I hope you don't forgive her in the future.

ohfourfoxache · 29/09/2018 12:59

Bloody hell she’s a bitch

You’re well rid

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2018 13:00

Well done for getting through this. With a bit of luck you’ll be next to her eldest. She’s not saying much but it’s clear she doesn’t think you deserve to be treated this way.

It is awfully cheeky to take the presents you gave her bar the mug. Really showing her true colours. Are you sure she didn’t put the card in the bin?

What did the mug say? Could this have been offensive to her sensitivities?

Rooty2 · 29/09/2018 13:12

Its all about her, her needs, feelings etc, the spolit entitled cow. Don't let it bother you, soon be home and back to normal x

Peridot1 · 29/09/2018 13:17

HolyFuckNuggets - well I didn’t have my glasses on when the notification popped up on my phone Grin but I def saw something about ‘petty ex friend’ has ....... you on Instagram’. I thought she had followed me but was already and then I realised I couldn’t see her posts etc so I think it was that she unfollowed me. And blocked me. I don’t really use it so just laughed.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 29/09/2018 13:32

peridot maybe she followed you just to unfollow and block you?

SynchroSwimmer · 29/09/2018 13:36

You have handled yourself so well Starleaf.

Try and stay strong, you have been dignified, hold your head up high, look outwardly happy and confident...not long to go now. Feeling for you.

An idea for you for checkin at the airport.....smile at the staff and ask on the offchance if there are any no-shows/alternative seats available somewhere else.

Alternatively, take your time boarding, and if you are near the end getting on, smile at the cabin crew and quietly ask the same...just say something like you are feeling a bit emotional...if there is somewhere else or quieter to sit. Worked for me in the past.

Also wanting to be on your side and say this other person doesn’t hold all the cards in the overall situation.....you don’t just have to mentally “accept” whatever this person deems that they can “put”on you.

It’s totally the wrong analogy here, but a bit similar to Brexit negotiations: European leaders can be vociferous about what “they won’t let us do” going forwards, and when they are shouty we can easily roll over and just assume they hold all the cards. The reality is that they will all still want us to buy their German cars, French and Italian agricultural and food products....they want to buy our electrical components and so on. So we are also in a position of strength, we also have a say in things/we don’t just have to accept, we can rebuff.

Can also choose ourselves not to intereact 😊. Something I remind myself about!

Once you get home maybe post on FB etc some interesting things going on that you are involved in back home...so your life shows as fulfilled, happy carefree....(that was just my strategy last week when undergoing a similar situation...)

Look after yourself

Peridot1 · 29/09/2018 13:38

Probably OhLook! That is quite funny when you think about it!

SpoonBlender · 29/09/2018 13:42

I'd find it impossible to not check that email. We lost a friend during a holiday, nothing so drama-llama as this story, but never did find out why!

I'd definitely not respond to the email though. Probably just shake my head at her stupidity and wrongness.

loveyoutothemoon · 29/09/2018 13:57

Well done for blocking the drama filled bitch! Hope the oddball hasn't spoilt the rest of your holiday.

Starleaf · 29/09/2018 14:31

mummyoflittledragon nothing offensive on mug. Just her name, a few things she enjoys doing and a picture of her from our last holiday together on the other side. She even said I chose a good picture.
I managed to get a bit more sun after the storm, but have come back to the room... with a cocktail. Playing some Motown, will sit on balcony for a while then get ready for journey home.
Just want to be home now...

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 29/09/2018 14:36

@Starleaf i hope they got caught in the downpour.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 29/09/2018 14:44

hope they both got soaked

Maisymoo22 · 29/09/2018 14:47

Well done op you’ve acted with dignity throughout your horrible ordeal.
I’d make sure I had a good book to occupy myself with while on the plane so as to not have to even make eye contact with her.

Then when I got home I’d put on Facebook about what a peaceful and relaxing holiday I’d had... especially the last few days! 😉

Ginkypig · 29/09/2018 15:15

Hmm ooh perfect response to how was your holiday

It's was great thanks I don't know how I I did it but I went away for 10 days and managed lose

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