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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday fall out

484 replies

Starleaf · 26/09/2018 18:32

Ok so I'm on holiday abroad with a friend and her two late teen children. It was my friends birthday yesterday, I packed birthday banners and ordered a cake and a bottle of fizz for her from the hotel. We went on a special day trip that I knew she wanted to do. Got back to hotel got ready for dinner and a night out, maybe a dance bar. All good so far. We had a lovely meal and decided to have a walk and find a bar. We passed several that were either showing football or boxing. Almost at the end of the strip we came to a place that was busy, playing music with people dancing. Just as we went in a song I love came on and I went to dance beckoning for my friend to follow. She didn't so when the song finished I went back to join her and asked if she'd like a drink. She said she didn't like the bar and was leaving.
I'll admit I wad pissed off at this point and walked out with my friend and kids following. I didn't walk fast but she hung back and the three of them stopped at a market, so I was on my own. I got back to our room (2 bed apt) and went to the bathroom. When I came out one of her kids was sleeping in her bed, and she'd gone to the other bedroom. I asked her why and she suddenly became very angry. She said as it was her birthday I should have done everything she wanted.
She has since told me she doesn't want anything more to do with me, I spoiled her birthday and that our friendship is finished.
I told her she was behaving immaturely. We haven't really spoken since, and they've now gone out for dinner leaving me in the room.
AIBU to think she'd had the whole day doing what she wanted, could she not have stayed at the bar for one drink, and has she over reacted?

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 29/09/2018 06:55

Reading your thread and your updates has really upset me. As someone who dealt with Queen Bee's and exclusion until her 20's, this has hit a nerve.

I would block any communication with her. What good could reading an email from her do? Will it change things? No. Will it make you feel better? Definitely not!

All you'll be doing is pandering to her and letting her get what she wants. Which has been the theme of your friendship for however many years. She's trying to make you feel worse else why would she mention it ahead of time?

She's a nasty bully and the sooner you cut her off completely the better.

Coco2891 · 29/09/2018 07:01

I'd tell you absolutely have no interest in anything she has to say and most certainly will not be reading any emails from her -tell her she's blocked in every way possible and enjoy your last day on holiday ☀️

Coco2891 · 29/09/2018 07:01

*id tell her

LoniceraJaponica · 29/09/2018 07:38

"I would block any communication with her. What good could reading an email from her do? Will it change things? No. Will it make you feel better? Definitely not! "

This ^^

Figgygal · 29/09/2018 07:48

Maybe keep the email until you feel ready?

Personally I'd never speak to the hateful creature again there's no excuse for her behaviour and if she was slightest bit bothered re: your friendship she's had days to calm down and try to resolve things she's chosen to be a spiteful bitch .....no way back imo

Alwa · 29/09/2018 07:56

Reply to her email 'Message deleted, unread"

Coco2891 · 29/09/2018 08:02

I wonder if they'll ask to keep their stuff in the room or something when they find out you've kept it til 6

MakeItRain · 29/09/2018 08:31

Can you get someone to meet you at the airport? It would be so good for you to have a friend or family member with you at that point. I think you're right and she's bullying you. But a friendly face greeting you will probably be very slightly embarrassing for her and her daughters, a sign that you don't need her but most importantly lovely for you.

As for the email, I think she probably won't send it. But if she did I'd probably just reply to it saying "I'm not going to read what you've written. I'm going to delete it. I'mean simply replying to let you know I don't want anything more to do with you after your behaviour on holiday." Or something along those lines. (Then read it if you want Wink)

Itsatravesty · 29/09/2018 08:45

I'd probably let her send her ranty email then just respond with ok, bye. Will drive her mad. Hope you enjoy your last few hours chilling on the balcony after they've vacated the room. If she's going to be hanging in the hotel lobby/bar I'd probably make a point of going for a swim/sunbathe then back to the room for a nice shower before travelling.

Starleaf · 29/09/2018 08:47

Good morning, I'm at the pool for my last day in the sun.
Had a chat with eldest before bed last night. Said I wouldn't be reading email if friend decides to send one, I've changed my settings so it will go straight to my junk folder. Know I should have said it to friend, but each time I try talk she gets aggressive, so felt would be easier for all of us.
Did talk to both girls after initial flare and said I understood friend was their mother and a such their allegiance would be with her.
I feel it was wrong of friend to draw girls into this, (making eldest share my room) and yes agree she isn't setting a very good example.
Will enjoy my last day in the sun, may even have s cocktail later this afternoon. Haven't so far, am aware people are wondering why I'm alone but this is my last chance so to hell with it!
Hopefully they'll leave the room early as they haven't paid to keep it on.

OP posts:
ContessasGulagSpaDay · 29/09/2018 08:49

Well done op. Did eldest say anything at all to that or just look awkward AF?

Lollypop701 · 29/09/2018 08:52

Well done op, enjoy a cocktail in the sun. It’s cold in the uk!

Starlight345 · 29/09/2018 08:53

Haha yes let them take their stuff down to luggage room and then see you relaxing by the pool and then much later in the day go and have a relaxing shower

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 29/09/2018 08:56

100% block.
Let this be the end , she has shown her true colours, and still wants to orchestrate more drama, on her return.
You sound lovely OP, you rode out the storm well, many would have crumbled, in your shoes.🌸

UrsulaPandress · 29/09/2018 09:03

Enjoy the sunshine.

Don't let them grind you down.

user232398291 · 29/09/2018 09:06

You've weathered the drama well, OP!

Now you have room in your life for a new and better friend.

Hope you at least are getting a nice tan out of this holiday Grin.

Starleaf · 29/09/2018 09:12

Thanks everyone, you've all helped me get through this! I'll probably become a blubbering mess once I get home, and think about what has actually happened here.
contessa no eldest was fine, said she understood,
Must admit, not looking forward to the journey home but I have my book so lots of reading at the airport. Flight shouldn't be too bad, we take off at 10pm and arrive UK at 12.15am so I can sleep.

OP posts:
Maisymoo22 · 29/09/2018 09:15

Good for you op. 💐
Do they know you’ve kept the room?

user232398291 · 29/09/2018 09:17

yes we did have a couple of mutual friends, but she fell out with them! One of them especially said she was fed up with the drama

Well, there you go.

This woman is systematically burning bridges with all her friends. Sounds like you're in good company with the others.

Rejoice to be rid of her toxicity!

dustarr73 · 29/09/2018 09:43

I wonder if they'll ask to keep their stuff in the room or something when they find out you've kept it til 6

Well i wouldnt let them.She has shown her colors.

FanciedAChangeToday · 29/09/2018 09:55

Just be prepared for her to have go at you now for involving her daughter - even though she is the one who has from the beginning. Get your responses ready!!

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 29/09/2018 10:20

I would just let reception know that they shouldn’t have any more access to your room, in case they try to keep their keys & get in.
Explain to reception what’s happened.

Caselgarcia · 29/09/2018 10:30

Good luck today Starleaf, I think you have been really strong staying there and baring all this crap. I have a daughter and could never imagine behaving the way she has in front of them. Good to know the eldest is still talking to you. I suspect they are both a little embarrassed by her.
Don't give he the satisfaction of thinking you are waiting for the email. Just smile and wave to the girls at the airport and do not engage with her ever again. It will really annoy her. I have the feeling she will want to continue the conflict via email. Rise above it.

rainbowstardrops · 29/09/2018 10:45

The eldest daughter especially, must feel so awkward being stuck in the middle.
Hope you enjoy your last day by the pool though 🍹

MrsAJ27 · 29/09/2018 10:49

You have done amazingly well keeping it together @starleaf

Enjoy your last day by the pool and don't acknowledge 'friend' at the air port.

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