To ask for your funny tiredness stories?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So my ds is 10 months old and I'm a month back at work after mat leave and surgery. I'm literally exhausted which has had some amusing and some not so amusing consequences. Such as having to get changed 4 times whilst rushing out the door late this morning after being repeatedly puked on. Also wearing totally mismatching clothes on more than one occasion as I got dressed in the dark for fear of light waking up the clingon that is my ds. This may not seem that bad until I mention that I work in a college dealing with students and standing in front of classes all day.

So anyway today! This morning was a nightmare I didn't even have chance to pick up my breakfast or dinner never mind make sure I'm presentable. A colleague who obviously saw my frazzled exhausted state decide to compliment me on my new "smokey eye eyeshadow"... I'm not wearing makeup... she complimented me on my tiredness induced bags

Tell me I'm not alone at being completely unable to manage back to work and a baby and being a presentable adult at the same time?!

My colleague reported her car stolen. She had left it at the gym.

Oh god! That's something my mums come close to doing over the years! Were the police ok with her?

I’m not working at the moment but entirely empathise with the spirit of your post

I have dark hair but now white roots or caterpillars as my eldest son calls them. The other day I sprayed root covering powder on them and rubbed it in then set off on the horror that is the school run. It was a really sunny day so I put my sunglasses on when leaving the house. It wasn’t sunny halfway there so shoved them on my head. Brilliant sunshine five minutes later so put them on then I went into the school to drop off a form so took them off. The school secretary looked at me and did a double take. Then she carried on talking but seemed reluctant to look at me again.
I left the school then as I got in the car caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. Aghast would be the word. The root concealer has transferred onto my sunglasses rim and left my face with a giant upended moustache line in jet black right across my face.

I looked utterly fucking ridiculous.
I wondered whether I should go back and explain I didn’t have a weird facial tattoo etc but then decided I would just appear even more tragic than I already did

@Eatmycheese thank you. So glad to know I'm not alone. That's totally something I'd do!

@Eatmycheese that is very funny!

Eatmycheese That genuinely made me snigger out loud- I feel for you, I had similar happen once after a trip to the dentist, walked out with a big smear of white up my face. Not one person told me, dentist, nurse, receptionist, woman in the corner shop!

Not child related tiredness but shift work tiredness, I drove home to the wrong house, we had not long moved, confusion as to why someone was in my space, then it clicked.

I posted this a few days ago, I was taking some heavy sleeping pills and walked halfway to work without my skirt. Just had tights and knee high boots on. Luckily I was slim and fit at the time and the tights were fairly thick... xxx

My sister put her clothes in the outside bin (she had to find her keys and unlock the front door) instead of the laundry bin!

I put the kettle in the fridge

Had so many of these situations when my 3 were little - I used to keep spares of as much as possible at work so any damage could be minimised!

I forgot the word for cheese. Was in McDonald’s trying to ask for a quarter pounder without cheese, had to point at the sign. I honestly think if the guy hadn’t told me it was called cheese I’d not know to this day

I was so tired once when walking to work I actually fell asleep while walking! Woke up with a jolt about half a mile past the office.

Actually it's not funny but I crashed my car - ran into the back of a large van at a roundabout - after a night shift.......

I ran blindly into the wrong bedroom waking (& terrifying) my toddler dc whilst trying to night feed my youngest. I then had them both bawling and DH was working nights. Ahh fun times!

Baby was a few weeks old and obviously lack of sleep! Had just drifted off then woke up shouting at my partner that the baby was stuck inside the duvet cover... she wasn’t

Finished a 28 hour shift at work carrying a bloody bleep that basically went off every five minutes. Got home and got into bed. Just as I was drifting off I thought I can still hear that bloody bleep. Turned out I was not imagining it I had accidentally brought it home (you are meant to pass it on to the next person on shift covering the wards). I could have cried at the thought of driving back to work to hand it over. Luckily my dh took it for me. And now I am more senior no bloody bleep!!!!! Nowtheyringmymobile 🙄

I arranged an appointment to open an account with NatWest ...only to realise an hour later I was sat in HSBC...I ended up staying with them that was 17 years ago

Goodlordwhathappened I did that once but switch programmed a spare bleep for my colleague! But I have taken keys home on several occasions and I live an hour round trip away......

Haha these are ace and so familiar 

Also @Shoite I forgot the word university in front of a class last week id forgot that lol

@Supermummy06 I still do that now!

Two incidents stand out:

I once threw a handful of dirty undies at the cats food bowl then spooned Whiskers into the drawer of the washing machine.

I left a store, crossed a busy road, got myself, 4yr old and 16 mth old seated in a Wimpy and ordered food before realising I'd left my precious week old baby in his pram tucked under a rail of nighties in Peacocks!

Driven off leaving pushchair in a car park, hot kettle into fridge and milk in the cupboard. Ds 10 woke me up at about 3am when he heard me banging about and found me asleep in the kitchen stood up with my head rested on the kitchen side on a plate??? Maybe I was planning on a snack
Drove the dc to school on a sunday morning. Arrived at work wearing ds, 10 pj bottoms instead of my leggings!
3ds, insomnia etc generally a hot mess!

Oh and I missed a drs appointment as I slept in the waiting room and drove home to a house I moved out of 18 months prior 😢

I once had a massive panic at work (it was a new job and I felt like a bit of an intellectual light weight there hadn't been sleeping well through nerves) telling everyone my new phone.

Colleague: how do you know its stolen not lost

Me: I keep calling and it has a busy tone and goes to answer phone so they must be using it.

Colleague: error whose phone is that you're using to call it

Me: mine why?

Colleague:............

Massively outing so changed names.

I had to give a presentation in Newcastle-under-Lyme for work - about 45 miles away.

In my tiredness, I only quickly skimmed the email and saw "Newcastle" so assumed it was the one up north.

The night before I was due to go, I double checked to make sure it was the Newcastle up north. Seeing that it was "Newcastle" with two words after it ("under-Lyme") which I knew the up north Newcastle had ("upon-Tyne"), I decided I was indeed correct.

So, I got up the next morning at about 5am and drove the 200 miles to Newcastle-UPON-TYNE. Once I got there I couldn't find where I needed to be so I stopped in a coffee shop to have a proper look at my maps and the details - this was before Sat Navs and smartphones.

Just as I sat down for my coffee, my mobile rang and my irate boss informed me that there was a whole room of people waiting for me to give my presentation in Newcastle-UNDER-LYME.

@sproutsandparsnips I wish I had the brain power at the time to think of that 🙈 I was so filled with despair and utter exhaustion I'm ashamed to say I actually cried 🙄