To ask for your funny tiredness stories?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So my ds is 10 months old and I'm a month back at work after mat leave and surgery. I'm literally exhausted which has had some amusing and some not so amusing consequences. Such as having to get changed 4 times whilst rushing out the door late this morning after being repeatedly puked on. Also wearing totally mismatching clothes on more than one occasion as I got dressed in the dark for fear of light waking up the clingon that is my ds. This may not seem that bad until I mention that I work in a college dealing with students and standing in front of classes all day.

So anyway today! This morning was a nightmare I didn't even have chance to pick up my breakfast or dinner never mind make sure I'm presentable. A colleague who obviously saw my frazzled exhausted state decide to compliment me on my new "smokey eye eyeshadow"... I'm not wearing makeup... she complimented me on my tiredness induced bags

Tell me I'm not alone at being completely unable to manage back to work and a baby and being a presentable adult at the same time?!

[Popsicales]

I put 2 normal nappies and 2 swim nappies in the washing machine. It wasn’t pretty.

[OrianaBanana]

This woman walked up to me and said, I saw you looking at me. Do you want to know my secret? I got such a fright I shouted WTF!

Did you find out her secret?

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

Put milk in my glass and orange juice on my cereal.
Realised, poured off the orange juice and then put on the milk.
That was a bit of a mess.
This is from my university days when I was only tired due to my own stupidity. Since having children, I don't have any humorous sleep deprivation stories, instead it got so bad I was regularly hallucinating.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

When making a cuppa I once put milk in the sugar bowl and poured boiling water into the tea caddy

That was jetlag, though ...

[Mumof1DS]

These make me feel a bit better about myself...!
Have done the kettle in the fridge, only realised after jigging things about to fit the handle of the kettle in.
Parked my car in a pay and display to go to a volunteer thing. Half an hour in, realised I had forgotten to pay and display. Left DS with kindly fellow volunteer, fortunately no fine, brought ticket, realised I had left car key back in venue, had to run back again to retrieve key and put ticket in the car
Put car seat into my car and drove off, got home and realised I hadn't seat belted it in. It's both isofix for DH's car, but belts into mine. I so infrequently drive that I am just used to putting it into DH's car. That scared me.
Have done the waking up and thinking newborn baby is still in arms before realising they are safely in the Moses basket!
Recently I am frequently falling asleep in the nursing chair waking up a few hours later with a crick in my neck and really cold must remember to take the Kindle through tonight.

[fadeintoobscurity]

My baby screamed 20hours a day for 14months, I don't know how I didn't go insane! I did however, regularly spoon the dog food out the tin straight into the bin and give the poor dog the empty tin.
Several times unstrapped LO when in car seat and quiet then popped them back in the car forgetting to re-harness them and only realising when I got home.
I also had a huge ongoing saga with the poor mechanic at my local garage, was convinced he'd fixed my car when I hit a deer a few months earlier and a part had later failed. Bless him, he spent a week looking into what had gone wrong on their system as he had no record of it and I'm a regular customer... turned out I had randomly gone to a different garage and completely forgotten! I was very sheepish and he was very kind.
The neighbour game round to check on me a few times when it was pouring with rain and the car doors were open, as was the front door.... she found me staring into space in a rare moment of silence! we've all survived anyway!

[EK36]

Spent hours looking for my credit card, hadn't seen it since that days food shop. The morning after, I found it. On top of the flora light in the fridge! So not only had I put it amongst my food shop, but I must have physically unpacked it and put it in the fridge!!

[bershetmelon]

@tlove glad I'm not the only one that's done that

[Mariatequila]

I do the trying to get in the house with car fob at least 4 times a week, also try to open my car by sticking my house keys in it & earlier spent a good 5 minutes sat in the passenger seat of my car before realising I was the driver. I’m the only person who drives my car. The other week I put a can of Pepsi on the side table, put a bag right next to it, pulled the bag away which took the Pepsi with it via the handle which I hadn’t noticed was tied around it. Cue Pepsi on the walls, ceiling, cream sofa, table, tv, curtains 2 lamps, the rug & the floor.
A family member did this years and years ago, which I replicated recently Cos I’m some sort of masochist; making spaghetti, shake the jar of sauce, unscrew the lid, stir the spaghetti, shake the jar of sauce again 😱😭 dolmio sprayed all over the kitchen 😭😂

I spend a lot of my time internally screaming ‘whyyyy am I like this?!’ 😂😂

[Fadingmemory]

I fell asleep at an, er, rather intimate moment. The guy was ‘really insulted’ - I didn’t blame him. I was a zombie for years through lack of sleep.

[Burgersandfries]

I’m pregnant and have a toddler, so tiredness is my friend. My parents recently came to visit but as they live in a different country and don’t speak English, I booked their flights for them (it’s relevant). When I picked them up at the airport upon their arrival they told me how on departure they confused the gates and nearly boarded the plane to Rome 🤦🏻‍♀️ Queue lots of jokes and my smug comments that at least now they are in my safe hands...
Before they left my DC got a cold so we hadn’t slept for a couple of nights plus my baby brain... On their flight back we arrived to the airport early. I found the check-in desk, we queued for about 40 minutes. At the desk the attendant was taking longer than usual and called her line manager without saying anything to us. Her manager asked me how many people were flying, “two!” I replied with indignation, “as I already told your colleague! What’s going on?!!” He replied that they could find my mom but there was nothing booked for my dad. Getting more and more annoyed (as a pregnant woman can be) I got out my phone to shove boarding passes into his face, which (the passes not his face) I’d received in my email after doing online check-in.
He looked at the passes then back at me. He tried hard not to laugh. “This is a wrong airline”, he calmly told me. “That’s their check-in” and he pointed at the desk to his right It turned out I confused the check-in desks and marched my parents to a Russian airline with a flight to some Siberian city and they had my mom’s complete namesake on that flight! When I translated myidiocy to my parents they burst out laughing. My dad said that at least they nearly flew to a sunny beautiful Rome while I was trying to send them to Siberia... 🙈 we all agreed that’s no more airport send-offs for me for the time being...

[LosSimpsones]

I took some medicine that made me drowsy and I ended up putting the remote control in the fridge and trying to work the telly with a cheese string

[Olderbyaminute]

My son was born after I had abdominal surgery at 30 weeks gestation and severe complications forced an emergency c-section and I spent days on life support-he was dependent on oxygen for a long time and when he came home he required round the clock hourly care-my husband and I were understandably exhausted for years tbh but one night when he was still tiny in the dark I went to pick him up from his bassinet and it was so dark I reached down and picked him up from his feet instead of under his arms as usual-(I was a zombie) by the time I realized it I reached down and picked him up correctly and the next morning we placed better,brighter lighting in our room. I can laugh now but did I ever feel like a horrible parent for a long time afterwards.

[donajimena]

Driving back from Calais my friend was so exhausted that after a coffee stop she attempted to start her car ignition by inserting her seatbelt clip. Obviously it didn't fit but she gave it a good few attempts.
Me, sleep deprived and going back to work after maternity leave I was ironing a shirt for work and picked up the electrical appliance with steam coming from it to iron... it was the kettle NOT the iron so poured a freshly boiled kettle over my only decent shirt.

[spinabifidamom]

I have another one.

At Christmas last year I was at a Christmas party for work. Somehow I managed to leave my apartment without the bottle of wine or the big box of books for everyone else I purchased.

Still have no idea how that happened. During the party I apparently had two or three drinks and managed to fall over. The office staff had to help me up. So embarrassing. We were at a local pub for a annual Christmas dinner.

[Fluffymullet]

I've done so many stupid things with my stupid tired brain. Reading other people's stories is making me feel better!

The ones I can remember :

Forgettening to fasten straps in baby car seat (first time with 2 week old PFB - I felt so ashamed!) I still do it now but she tells me when I forget now!

Accidently shoplifted cheese and toilet rolls etc if I'm holding stuff in my left hand I always forget to put it on the counter

After a long night with poorly vomiting child and 3 bed sheet changes, I pulled the fiited sheet off the bed, bundled it all in the washing machine only realising mid wash my phone was in with the bundle of sheets. RIP Samsung s4.

Frequent panics when they were newborns that is dropped them/lost them in the bed

I wish I'd appreciated my pre baby/tired brain more x

[Iizzyb]

I once went to work without my handbag. Someone in my team had to buy my lunch for me. Very helpful boss described me as "very unprofessional" no love, just tired and returning to work after mat leave as a lp is not the same as a man coming back to work after having a heart attack and a period of recuperation. HONESTLY

I also took the wrong bag into nursery with ds - he didn't have much need for my handbag I didn't need his spare clothes with me at work luckily staff noticed

Regularly ask ds to put his arms in trousers, eat his breakfast whilst holding out uniform for him to put on etc. Luckily he's a bright lad

[NinaMarieP]

@itsonlysubterfuge when reading in my kindle I often try to turn back a page by closing the cover...

My worst tiredness mistakes are losing words I know.

This week I have told colleagues I have booked myself on "a... er... thing with the CPR," aka a first aid course and tried to give a customer directions showing her google maps on the screen, "past the new hotel there and that's the... er... gambling place, you know, where you play poker,". The next woman in the queue helpfully piped up "the casino".

[seizethecuttlefish]

Oriana I have no clue. I couldn't even pick the woman out of a line up. My guesses are:a cult (at least that's interesting), some candle/make up/supplement nonsense (the school is awash with them and their sparkly sweatshirts and car decals), she's actually got a key bit of showbiz gossip and is a minor star in the area. Can you tell, I'm not getting out much and this is my entertainment???

[contrary13]

When my daughter was very young, she caught a bug from nursery - which meant that I got very little sleep as she was clingy, grizzly, and generally properly unwell for the first time in her life. I remember lying in my bed one night, her attached to me like a limpet, staring out of the window at the tall trees which were growing in the industrial yard directly behind us... and I swear that I thought they were talking. I can't remember now if I thought they were talking to each other, or to me (it was 20 years ago), but not only was I absolutely convinced that they were having a good old chat in the early hours of the morning, but also that it wasn't strange in the slightest...

I've also given my breakfast to our (greedy, didn't say "no") dog and sat down to eat his dental chew. That took a bit of figuring out at 6 am, I can tell you!

And, this one isn't me, but my mother. When I was a very young baby, she went into town with me in my pram, parked me outside of Woolworths main door (this is way back when it was considered normal and safe to leave your children outside of shops), did her shopping, paid... and left through the shop's back door which was directly opposite to the main door. She actually got home and was pottering about putting the dinner on for when my Dad came home from work, when she realised she'd left me in town. Luckily I was still there, but as I apparently thrived on 30 second power naps until I was about two (I didn't believe this, until my son did the same when he was a baby), the poor woman was probably completely exhausted and just glad of the peace without me there.

[HippyChickMama]

Oh, and I fell asleep on the operating table just before my emergency c section. I was 36 hours into labour and as soon as the spinal was in I was out cold, snoring and everything. Dh had to wake me up to tell me they were about to start!

[DifferentlyAbledMum]

When my now 5 year old was a baby I was changing her nappy and didn't keep the nappy closed for escaping wee as I usually would because I was so tired ( she was tongue tied and barely slept no joke) anyway I didn't get a surprise of wee I got a surprise of liquid breast milk poop sprayed into my hair that dripped down me. Lovely

[Pretamum]

Baby was a few weeks old and obviously lack of sleep! Had just drifted off then woke up shouting at my partner that the baby was stuck inside the duvet cover... she wasn’t

@supermummy06 - the exact same thing happened to me - woke up frantic and scrabbling to get in the duvet to get my son out, then my partner pointed out he was safely in the moses basket. Joys of sleep deprivation!

[Effy1990]

I fell asleep during my emergency c section as well HippyChickMama although I wasn't in labour for as long as you, only 20 hours, and I did wait until my dd was born... I blamed the drugs I was given.

[Hortonlovesahoo]

In our last house we had underfloor heating and one evening I was so tired I decided to sleep on the floor as it was warm.... Cueba very frightened DH who found me in the morning

Another time, I've driven all the way to work (45mins), arrived and realised that DD was still in her car seat and I hadn't dropped her off at nursery first.