To ask for your funny tiredness stories?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So my ds is 10 months old and I'm a month back at work after mat leave and surgery. I'm literally exhausted which has had some amusing and some not so amusing consequences. Such as having to get changed 4 times whilst rushing out the door late this morning after being repeatedly puked on. Also wearing totally mismatching clothes on more than one occasion as I got dressed in the dark for fear of light waking up the clingon that is my ds. This may not seem that bad until I mention that I work in a college dealing with students and standing in front of classes all day.

So anyway today! This morning was a nightmare I didn't even have chance to pick up my breakfast or dinner never mind make sure I'm presentable. A colleague who obviously saw my frazzled exhausted state decide to compliment me on my new "smokey eye eyeshadow"... I'm not wearing makeup... she complimented me on my tiredness induced bags

Tell me I'm not alone at being completely unable to manage back to work and a baby and being a presentable adult at the same time?!

Absolutely shattered, fell asleep in front of the fire on the floor.
Woke up in bed, fully dressed, hours later.
My son had picked me up, carried me upstairs and popped me into bed but drew the line at any disrobing of his mother.

Tried to swipe my way into my own home with my work badge repeatedly and couldn't figure out why the door wasn't opening!

I did this SO many times when I was working shifts.
Also tried to pay for travel with my swipe card on tube or buses.

Mine is not funny at all, but scary. I was driving home from uni after handing in my dissertation and took the usual turning off the roundabout onto he motorway to go home. Except it want the usual turn off. I somehow managed to go down the motorway the WRONG WAY. Luckily I realised quickly and pulled into a hard shoulder where a police car stopped about 20 minutes later.

I hadn't slept for 96 hours, finishing my stats and conclusion. I shudder to think what could have happened.

Walked into bathroom and saw my tiny new born ds lying abandoned on the floor in the corner. Except how did he get there because I had only just put him in his Moses basket and surely he couldn't crawl yet.

Stupid baby size dolls.

Outnotdown Yes, I've done that too! Spent ages stressing that the car wasn't going forwards when I pressed the accelerator, I've checked it has petrol, I can't even hear it revving. How much is this going to fix? Oh, maybe if I turn the engine on....there we go....

I can empathise. I was working from home the other day and needed to go to the office. I went to my son's nursery instead. I wonder if the staff noticed me get as far as the door before I realised I was at the wrong place.

I did the newborn baby lost in the bed covers thing loads. Panic they'd fallen behind the mattress etc when they were safely in their Moses basket.

And I've hunted for the baby I was sure was in the bed with me. I woke up and was convinced I'd fallen asleep with her in my arms feeding only she wasn't there. She must have fallen out onto the floor. Dh was asleep and in my sleep deprived state I decided I'd best not wake him, so I hung over the edge of the bed and started frantically patting the floor around my side of the bed, getting slightly desperate. I mean, she'd have to have hurt herself on the fall down, so why didn't she cry? Oh my god, she was so badly hurt she couldn't even cry. I was just getting out of bed to feel under the bed (what if she'd rolled under there - at two weeks old it would have made her some kind of infant athlete but still) when Dh asked what I was doing. Apparently I'd put her back in her cot two hours earlier. I had no recollection at all of doing this.

When DD was tiny and not sleeping, I got up and made a lifesaving cup of tea in the morning. Unfortunately I put catfood in the pot, not tea. At least I didn't add any boiling water...

i once used a can of deodorant thinking it was dry shampoo. I've also launched a plate of toast onto my sofa instead of my mobile phone which was in my other hand

DH brought me a cup of tea in bed the other morning, and gently shook me awake as time was getting on. Apparently I told him 'I can't talk now, I am too busy reversing this bus'.
When I really woke up not long afterwards, I couldn't remember a thing

Couldn’t remember my daughter’s name when I phoned the surgery to arrange her six week check 😫

I once very nearly wiped my eye makeup off with nail varnish remover, thank god it smells so strongly!

The 'baby in the bed' thing is quite common, in the early days I saw my baby's face in the radiator when I woke up, and constantly woke thinking he was inside the duvet, really disconcerting!

I went around the table putting bibs on the dc the other day not realising DH was sat between the two of them. I only realised my mistake when I couldn't get the bib done up around DH's freakishly thick neck!

On a more serious note I've dented the car, popped a tyre and smashed off a wing mirror this year through tiredness. We've started sleep training...

This happened last year. I went into work first day back post Christmas. At some point during the day I had to get lunch out from my bag. Turns out I accidentally brought one of my baby’s milk bottles to drink by mistake.

And I also left my packed lunch at home so the babysitter misguidedly had it. Luckily I had money to quickly get a sandwich from a local supermarket plus crisps and a drink.

Oh well.

I worked permanent nights after having second dc as it fitted in with childcare but I didn't get a lot of sleep, 5 hours max between 12.5 hour shifts. I once escorted a patient for a scan and briefly fell asleep standing up(!) in the scan viewing room. I also once came home, dropped ds at school and dd at nursery and it was only when I got home and got undressed for bed I realised I had a pen sticking up out of my hair bun.

Dozed off in hair stylist’s chair while he was off mixing the colour.

Stood and watched someone’s Land Rover drive itself off across a car park thinking, what an idiot, they’ve left the handbrake off.

Realised just after it crashed (luckily into a grassy bank) that it was my Land Rover and id left the handbrake off and left it in drive.

I've said thankyou to a cash machine

Blew on a computer to delete something

Poured a full pan off pasta down the drain

Left tub of butter in the middle of the floor.
Put the milk away in the cupboard cup of coffee in the fridge.

I've gone to pick a parcel up from a shop every day for a week and it wasn't there. Complained to the shop then rang up customer services to complain. Id been going to the wrong shop all week.

I often walk into doors at work forgetting they all have codes on them.

Not me but friends - two different ones lucky for them:

1. went into bedroom holding cup of tea and phone. Threw tea onto the bed and put phone on the bedside table.
2. fell asleep in the dentist's chair while having a root canal - she'd not been able to sleep in weeks and once the anaesthetic went in and it wasn't hurting, off she went.

My most embarrassing was when DS was 3-4 months old. DP and I had DTD the night before, condom broke so agreed that the next day I'd get the morning after pill. Anyway that morning DS had been a bit sick. Milk sick, just to clarify. I was wearing a scrappy spaghetti top that I had worn to bed. Hadn't changed it because, you know, it was just one of those days. DS had been up all night and was wide awake come 6am. I was literally shattered. The sick had landed on my chest and was in dribs and drabs down the front. Made a mental note to myself to change my top before going out. Spent the next 45 mins looking for my keys, shoes ECT. Just about to go out the door and DS does an almighty poonami. Back in to change. Now an hour has passed. Manage to get him out in the pram, across the road to the pharmacy. Stand there, half asleep, explaining to the pharmast I needed the morning after pill. She took one look at me, went bright red and mumbles something. Took me to the back room, took all my details. Her face bright red throughout as she stared solidly at the screen. In my lack of sleep indices haze I found I didn't have the energy to wonder or care why.

Got back home after taking it, go to put DS on his play mat for a bit and catch sight of myself in the mirror. totally forgotten in the run up to going out to change my top.

White, dry, stains on the chest area of my crumpled top.... While I had just asked for the morning after pill...

I think it took me about six months to go back. Funny now but at the time you could have fried an egg on my face.

On the phone to a customer, I asked them to give me their reference number, which is a letter/number combo. She started doing the ‘hotel, bravo, whiskey, tango’ way of spelling. I just wrote down gibberish because I was too tired to work out what the letter was and passed her on to someone else. Even more embarrassing is that our reference numbers all contain the same four letters, so I actually already knew what the letters were.

I have a colleague who has also done the Newcastle thing as welll

Got lost driving two miles home from the centre of town to my house, I had lived there for seven years at that point and there is only a couple of roads in and out.

I'd ordered some baby clothes from Sainsbury's last week, went in to pick them up, the man there couldn't find the order, asked me to check the email in case I was at the wrong store. I was, I'd sent them to the one the other side of the city!

Also woke DP up a couple of times pulling his arm in bed as I thought I'd fallen asleep and dd was stuck in the bed (she never was!)

At our local shop the other day with DH and newborn DS. DH was carrying DS and I was carrying the shopping. I had armfuls of bits and bobs and remarked to DH ‘I wish I’d picked up a basket now’... he pointed to the empty basket hanging off my arm. Old lady behind us was giggling away to herself.

Used the self service checkout at Tesco. Paid for the items and left without them. I didn't realise until I got home and was too embarrassed and tired to go back for them.