To ask for your funny tiredness stories?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So my ds is 10 months old and I'm a month back at work after mat leave and surgery. I'm literally exhausted which has had some amusing and some not so amusing consequences. Such as having to get changed 4 times whilst rushing out the door late this morning after being repeatedly puked on. Also wearing totally mismatching clothes on more than one occasion as I got dressed in the dark for fear of light waking up the clingon that is my ds. This may not seem that bad until I mention that I work in a college dealing with students and standing in front of classes all day.

So anyway today! This morning was a nightmare I didn't even have chance to pick up my breakfast or dinner never mind make sure I'm presentable. A colleague who obviously saw my frazzled exhausted state decide to compliment me on my new "smokey eye eyeshadow"... I'm not wearing makeup... she complimented me on my tiredness induced bags

Tell me I'm not alone at being completely unable to manage back to work and a baby and being a presentable adult at the same time?!

[MismatchedStripySocks]

Once went into a shop, bought a washing machine and drove off. About 5 minutes later I realised that DS (2 months) was there in the back and had been the whole time 🤦‍♀️

[tillytop]

MrsVoleTheVet 15.38

[spinabifidamom]

These stories are hilarious 😂.

[MyBabyBoyBlue]

@wineandtiramisu I did the exact same thing last week...walked 1.5 miles to the large Sainsbury's to be told I'd sent it to my local store which is less than a minute 's walk from our flat.

Made my coffee with ready made baby formula instead of cow's milk. It was not good.

[Norma27]

I went back to teacher training when my youngest was 6 months.
One morning I threw both sets of car keys in the kitchen bin, separately, obviously in a desperate attempt to get out of finishing the shit placement I was on!
I called a taxi to get my children to school and nursery, but managed to find one key in the bin before it got here. Got home in the evening and emptied the bin and found the other one in there too.

[Highpeak]

Had taken 6mo dd to a class, drove home, took her in to the house. Went back to the car to get something and realised I had left the very new pushchair on the street where I'd parked. Jumped back in the car, got to the end of my cul-de-sac before realising I'd left dd in the house. Both baby and pushchair were exactly where I'd left them.

[plominoagain]

I repeatedly click my car remote at the swipe door entry at work - like that’s ever going to work ! Then tried doing exactly the same thing to get into my work locker ...

Fell asleep on the train after nights and missed completely the announcement that due to the usual recent cock ups , instead of the train splitting in half as usual and the half I was on continuing forwards to my station , they were going to send the WHOLE train back to London , and everyone who needed to go onwards had to change trains . First thing I knew about it , was when DH did a find your friends thing on the IPhone as I hadn’t made it home , and wanted to know why I appeared to be speeding southbound through Stevenage . So I had to go back to Kings Cross and start again. Got home at 12.30 that day , after finishing at 0700 !

[Cupcakey]

Going on auto pilot tucking everyone in at the table at meal times including trying to push my dh closer to the table. Making sure everyone has a drink and giving dh a paw patrol cup complete with lid and spout!

Left my dd in the bakery when only a few weeks old... walked off with my bread and cakes and then suddenly thought I'm missing something ran back to the shop where she had an audience and luckily they had all been there so didn't report me lol lovely bakery lady made me a cup of tea and gave me a vanilla slice for energy!

DS 9 months is currently a rubbish sleeper so I'm doing all sorts on a daily basis very very clumsy fell out the car on the school run in full view of everyone! Sleep deprivation is torture!!!

[Mixedupmummy]

these are making me laugh!

my dc3 is 6 months so I'm not new to tiredness and the silly things it makes you do. I am regularly very clumsy and forgetful stopping halfway through sentences having forgotten the word I need or even just what I was saying.

when dc1 was a baby I remember one particular day when I only put mascara on one eye, made coffee without a cup and left money in the cash machine. dc2 I walked around for a whole day lopsided with one boob out my nursing bra. dc3 there are so many but I'm too tired to remember

[HJE17]

Brushed my teeth with shampoo...

[longtompot]

I woke up with no idea where I was. I had got out of bed and was in the furthest corner of the room from my bed!
Another time, after a relentless god knows how long cycle of feeding nappy changing trying to get dd back to sleep, I woke up with a jolt and was searching for same dd in our bed. I was getting really panicky as I couldn't find her. She was safe and fast asleep on her cot at the end of our bed. I think I must have put her to bed asleep and then fell asleep sat upright as that was how I was feeding her and forgot I had actually put her back to bed. She didn't sleep much at all that one :(

[underneaththeash]

When I first went back to work after DS1 was born (he was a bad sleeper and we went back to work much earlier then), I managed to put +5 contact lenses rather than -5 lenses in to my patient, so effectively making her 2 x as shortsighted as she actually was. How she found her way back to reception I'll never know...

[theredjellybean]

I called the police and hospital security because my car had been stolen from staff carpark...after several hours of looking in all carparks with security in case i had parked it somewhere else...police drove me home to the sight of my car sitting smugly on my drive....i had walked to work that day.

i have also cleaned my teeth with hair removal cream...i have nicely de fuzzed teeth !

[AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy]

These are so funny. Thanks OP!

[CountessVonBoobs]

What is it with thinking the baby is under the duvet somewhere? When mine have been small and we actually coslept, I always knew exactly where they were, but once they moved into cots I regularly had the waking up in a sweat sure that I had accidentally lost them in the covers somewhere.

We're on holiday with 3yo DS1 and 6MO DS2 at present, so all sleeping in one room. DS2 has a cold and has also had terrible tummy gripes since he started solids (that's a whole other thread I must get around to starting) and last night was truly horrendous. At about 4am last night while desperately patting him down next to me again, I became briefly convinced the hotel room was inhabited by Satan and that was the cause of the whole thing. I was fairly unconcerned ("bloody Satan again, idiot, I'll deal with him in the morning").

[mononoaware1907]

I'm crying with laughter😂 Shamelessly placemarking.

Some of my gems: took the last spoonful out of a nutella jar, binned the spoon and put the empty jar back in the frigde
Came home EXHAUSTED, I thought to run myself a very hot bath, lighted candles and when I put my foot in the water it was ice cold. I never turned the tap

[honeylulu]

Left my four day old baby in the Body Shop and wandered of down the high street. I only realised when I panicked about not having my handbag (which I'd left in the bottom of the pushchair).

Gone out of front door to throw nappy bag in outside bin, holding keys in case the door slammed. Threw the keys into the bin, then had to rootle through the stinking rubbish to find them. Worse still, I've now done that twice.

Called members of my team (law firm) Sweetie-pops and the like. Also have a tendency to move everyone's glasses of water to the middle of the table during meetings.

[AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy]

😄😄😄 Moving glasses to the middle of the table!

[ImaPrimaDonna]

I was so tired with the young babies plus the school run. Whilst driving I stopped at the lights and sat back in my seat waiting for the lights to change. A car went into my bumper so I jumped out of the car to check the damage and ask him what the hell he was doing. He said that I just rolled back into him. At that point I realised that I'd taken my foot off the brake and indeed had done so. I did apologise though!

[theredjellybean]

I have just found a head of broccoli plus the stalk of another one in the freezer... No idea why they are there.
I have 18 Yr old dcs... Menopausal tiredness here

[TheBitchOfTheVicar]

Numerous times left the car door wide open, keys on car roof, for a couple of hours at a time while
Shopping in a small, local town.

[Clarich007]

I was once so tired after a 12 hour shift at work, that I put the hot water bottle on the doorstep, and the milk bottle in bed !!
I nearly launched myself into space when I got into bed 😄

[MellowMelly]

Lots of these have given me a good laugh.

I was feeling sleep deprived and looking after my grand daughter and reading her a story book about bedtime...
...and two little eyes were shite tut
and upon trying to correct myself
...and two little eyes were slut tight

But my Grandma did a classic. Her and my grandfather were a little tired after their drive to come and see us but they decided to pop out again up to our local high street for some wine and other snacks etc...

Upon their return with shopping in hand I notice Grandma is wearing some surprisingly grubby white socks.

She had forgotten to put her shoes on to go shopping and only realised on the way home when she realised the pavement felt ‘peculiarly knobbly’.

[fluffycloud]

My newborn baby was 3 days old and was not a sleeper. I was almost nauseous with tiredness. I decided to have a shower. Was most alarmed when I, almost instantly, developed marked visual disturbances. The peripheral fields of vision were rapidly becoming cloudy. My hands flew to my eyes to discover I was still wearing my glasses...🙄