To ask for your funny tiredness stories?

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

So my ds is 10 months old and I'm a month back at work after mat leave and surgery. I'm literally exhausted which has had some amusing and some not so amusing consequences. Such as having to get changed 4 times whilst rushing out the door late this morning after being repeatedly puked on. Also wearing totally mismatching clothes on more than one occasion as I got dressed in the dark for fear of light waking up the clingon that is my ds. This may not seem that bad until I mention that I work in a college dealing with students and standing in front of classes all day.

So anyway today! This morning was a nightmare I didn't even have chance to pick up my breakfast or dinner never mind make sure I'm presentable. A colleague who obviously saw my frazzled exhausted state decide to compliment me on my new "smokey eye eyeshadow"... I'm not wearing makeup... she complimented me on my tiredness induced bags

Tell me I'm not alone at being completely unable to manage back to work and a baby and being a presentable adult at the same time?!

I once turned on the bedroom light thinking (while half asleep) that it would turn my alarm clock off

Knackered after a bad day at work with a heavy cold I spent a few minutes trying to swipe my work pass to get into the house.

I remember pushing the buggy into town ( a full ten minute walk) before noticing I had left the baby at home..

I forgot I’d bought a new car, went to a meeting at a client I visit regularly and paid for my parking as usual using a mobile app. Came out of meeting to find a parking ticket on my car, rang the parking company to complain - I’d paid to park my old car not my new one and they made me pay the parking fine.
Went back 2 days later and did exactly the same thing....

I drove down the up ramp in a multi storey car park..and then had to reverse back up the spiral ramp with an unimpressed motorist facing me!

I have

• stood at my front door blipping the car fob at it and not understanding why it wouldn’t open (then cried)
• put the (just boiled) kettle in the fridge
• put the sugar in the fridge
• not put a cup under the coffee machine before turning it on. The drip tray caught it but was filthy (still contemplated drinking it as it was my last one)
• put my phone in the oven
• worn clothes inside out
• gone to an appointment and forgotten my DOB to check in
• wiped my arse with an antibacterial wipe rather than a coconut infused toilet wipe. They are no longer next to each other
• cleaned my face with nail varnish remover rather than toner

Some of these are before even having kids 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh I've also put a nappy in the wash, having brought it down for the bin with the laundry. Lovely it was.

One from 6 weeks ago,

Terminally ill DS, been awake until around 3am with him,

Had at most 15 minutes, DS2 starts calling out for his feed...

I make the bottle, cool it down, cradle him to feed...

.... unscrew bottle lid... and poured it over him....

Yeah, it wasn’t one of my finer moments

GoJetter I’m sorry to read that 💐

When on maternity leave with new born and 2 year old I had finally got the baby to sleep and I lay down on the bed for a rest while dc1 played with his toys on the floor. After a few minutes I heard the baby crying - could not remember where I'd left him. I was lying there really wracking my brains thinking where the hell did I put him? Was he in the Moses basket? But then where did I put the Moses basket? Finally I looked down and realised my baby had been sleeping peacefully in my arms the entire time and it was in fact the neighbour's baby who was crying.

I crashed my car twice in the space of a week while teacher training. First time in front of s playground full of kids laughing at me and second time wrote my car off!! Not funny obvs!

The other day in a lesson I told the class that there are loads of cities in China with over 1 billion people. They're so terrified of me apparently that they didn't want to correct me and only did so when I asked why they were murmuring to each other. Rubbish teaching but hey my behaviour management is better than ever seeing as I'm always so grumpy!!

Mother of a 4 month old. The other day I put coffee in the baby bottle. Noticed and got a clean bottle, filled it from the kettle and then put baby formula in my tea. In a fit of temper (tiredness induced, I swear) I slammed the cupboard door. This dislodged an open bag of oats that topped all over my head, tea and kitchen. 1kg of oats, goes a LONG way. I'm still finding them.
Today at the school, picking up my 5 year old, I was staring into the distance. Sort of sleeping daze. This woman walked up to me and said, I saw you looking at me. Do you want to know my secret? I got such a fright I shouted WTF! I may be isolated to weirdo corner with secret woman....

Strapped baby into car seat and pulled off the drive. Wondered why the car was beeping loudly at me. Turned out the back door of the car was wide open....
I also did the hunting for the baby in the bed when he was in his Moses basket quite a few times. Most memorably, I was so tired dh sent me to the spare room for the night. Woke up, thought I saw ds in the bed with something covering his face which I tried desperately to get off. Woke up a bit more to find myself trying to rip off the face of the cuddly monkey that lives on the spare room bed!

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was still working and was huge (11 pound baby) and knackered. I went to the bathroom (where I spent most of my pregnancy to be fair) and promptly fell asleep on the loo until I was awoken a considerable time later by anxious colleagues pounding on the door worried that I had suffered some medical emergency.

At least they didn't break the door down I suppose... 😉

When DS was a baby his Dad got up to change his nappy in the night, he shuffled back in and said all done. I asked if DS was ok and as he rolled over he said ‘yeah not bad he did a wee as I took the nappy off but don’t worry I twisted him so it went on the floor instead of the clean nappy’ I laid there for a split second thinking WTF and he sat bolt upright and went ‘shit I got him to wee on the carpet’ off he went to clear up.

A few years ago as a single parent working full time I made DS tea after nursery and put it on the floor for the cat and gave DS a bowl of cat food. Luckily he was old enough to know not to eat it. DS that is. The cat loved his ham sandwich.

I put the brandy glass under the tommy tippee machine. I was sleep deprived at the time as you can imagine.

I, on two seperate occasions, left a child in the school playground on afternoon school run. I’m a childminder and it was not my child!

I dropped my newborn dd off the bed in the middle of the night and then said to her “sssh, don’t wake daddy”. He had heard!

I put the ice cream in the microwave instead of the freezer

These have seriously made my day! I managed to stay awake until dh got home but sometime around bath time he tapped me on the shoulder to ask for help. I was curled up in the curve of our corner sofa using my sons treasure basket as a pillow. I don't even remember getting out the floor never mind the rest!

So now I'm off to bed nice and early. Hopefully tomorrow is better 🙏

Gojetter - sorry to hear your DS is poorly

On the floor. Not out of it.

Oh I give up!

Also @GoJetterGirl I've followed a few of your threads. I'm so sorry about your little one

Me too. I have also managed to drop a bowl of cat food onto my nice clean kitchen floor at lunch time today. Off to bed early now.

Locked myself out of my online banking by trying to log in with my library card number.
I also had a day at work of putting the word " Chihuahua" randomly into sentences for no reason I could fathom.

I got into the bath and was surprised by my tattoos. I'd had them for several years.