To insist that it's 'What the fuck... ?'

[villainousbroodmare]

... not 'What the chuff... ?' 'What the jeff... ?' (!) nor any other toecurlingly twee synonym. If you can't say 'fuck' for some reason, 'What on earth... ?' is quite acceptable. Done.

(Four Weddings and a Funeral)

Just the best start to any film.

I'm a sailor - I have to swear, it's tradition

'Suck an elf' is quite popular at work at the moment although I prefer Blackadder's 'clucking bell' or a very expressive 'Pantaloons!!'
Northern EXMIL was often heard saying 'chuffing hell as like'

What the buggery fuck?

Firm favourite at home.

YANBU

@LuckyLuckyLuckyMe

Hahaha sorry I'm a bit dense today actually the long version is Jesus Mary & Joseph & all the Saints

I'm not a fan of the twee alternatives.

I'm not a voracious swearer really, but I do favour 'in the name of FUCK' and my personal favourite, 'For fuck's sake,' which I probably mutter/silently scream about 300 times a day, despite not being a voracious swearer.

I reckon fuck is my favourite word
It hits a spot that no other word can hit
It perfectly conveys my level of frustration or annoyance
What the Jeff/ chuff??? Just fuck off with that!

@Princess It's Jesus, Mary & Joseph and the donkey she rode in on in this house.

But just fuck usually.

@Athena51 that’s exactly what I thought of! “Shit on the shitting thing!!”

What the fluffing smegging chuffington are you going on about OP?

Cheeses fecking chroise!

When mine were little I used 'bollocks' as my go to. Not very p.c me thinks....

I too have a PhD and love the word cunt.
HTH

DH says fuck up instead of fuck off.

Gies me the rage

Cunty bollocks is a personal swear fave...just rolls off the tongue.

As in oi cunty bollocks what the fucking fuck are you doing?

Droopy, wet and green?

🤣. Spot on!

Fuck is a good word...
Fuck - when in pain.
Fuck off - simple but meaningful.
For fuck sake - what better way to show frustration?
For The Love of Fuck - perfect for those moments of exasperation
What the actual fuck?...10/10
Are you fucking serious?

I could go on....

Anyone unhappy with the use of profanities probably isn’t terribly well suited to MN.

When my kids were only just grown up young adults, I described someone as a complete fuckwit. They howled exclaiming “Mum swore, she called him a fuckwit, hahaha, Mum never swears”. This is a testament to how careful we were about never using bad language in front of the kids when they were growing up and it made me feel rather proud.

The Irish version “feck” is useful as well.

Oh Jesus Mary and Fucking Joseph.

I say what the shithuffing fuck, a lot.

I am feeling decidedly unwanted around here - and I've been here since 2010!

On a slightly more serious note - MN has always been known for its sweariness. I do find it a bit offputting at times, as it's often, to my mind and in my opinion only, done for effect. I am pretty sure there's not really very many of you who use these words in real life in the way that they're sprinkled over the posts not only on this thread, but on other threads. Everybody, yes even me, can let out an expletive should the occasion warrant it. However, mine tends to be For Pete's sake. Sadly I don't have a PhD in anything, not even sweariness, but I'm still a pretty bright and intelligent person and can get by quite well in the world without using swearwords.

It's absolutely fine with me if you wish to continue using them. However, there is no need whatsoever to call me names and insult me for having an opinion.

Gorgon are you coming back to reply to my questions? Or are you sitting thinking - yes I really was horrible to Willow.

We are more than able to be appropriate in our house about when to swear or not.

And by "we" I mean DC (18 and 15) and I. In fact, we sometimes have a real laugh about swearing, it's never been used in a nasty way. BUt we do draw a line when we leave the house (exceptional circumstances are allowed).

And yes, there are times when saying fuck is the only thing to do.

I’m quite partial to “what the fucking fuck?”

Isn't "what the hell?" the most common non-swearing version? Seems perfectly fit for purpose.