To insist that it's 'What the fuck... ?'

[villainousbroodmare]

... not 'What the chuff... ?' 'What the jeff... ?' (!) nor any other toecurlingly twee synonym. If you can't say 'fuck' for some reason, 'What on earth... ?' is quite acceptable. Done.

When my Dad gets wound up he’ll often get his words mixed up including swearing. My personal favourites of his are “Fucking Bennett” and “Fucking heck” 😂

I’m quite fond of fucktard.

DieAntword I love feck

In polite company or the presence of children I use ‘chuff’

In fact I use chuff more than anything, I just like it.

When my dd was little she told her teacher mummy says muck sake to stupid taxi drivers cause they think they can do what they like.

But isn't chuff another name for vagina? Just more sweary, so ergo, what the chuff is ok? Unless you're talking about the noise that Thomas the fucking Tank Engine makes.(I may be blethering)

Fucking heck is priceless

Cunting hell fire/motherfucking cunt are my favourites. Usually under my breath but not always.

Fuck is a wonderful word. It can carry venom in its enunciation or fun.

I cringe when someone - always here on MN - substitutes duck. If you can’t say or type the fucking word, don’t fuck around with a twee version.

I also love feck. The main reason being I love Fr Jack.

Fuckingcuntingwankingwhore is my current favourite. It was much used today but mostly under my breath.

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter 'fucking Bennett' yoink!

I use the word fuck too much (according to my mother) but with 4 dc 11 months- 8 yrs I do use "fraggle rock" or "frigbiscuiting knorks" sometimes.

Shouted "What the cunting fuck are you doing?!" at a possibly inebriated driver the other day. Windows were up, so they didn't hear. DF was in the car with me, in absolute hysterics.

Also shouted "Arsing hell!" When something fell off the top shelf and twatted me on the head. DS (11) was highly amused. He is still shocked and gets giggly when he hears swearing and doesnt use actual swear words. He has said WTF, WTAF and "What the actual -?!" in front of me, then promptly apologised.

@TheFaerieQueene

The bastard autocorrect changes fuck Into duck. It's not intentional, I assure you!

I always thought it was What the Arsing Fuck? Live and learn.

As for Jeff, I also thought that he was a twatty poster who seems to have gone down in legend. Might be wrong but I like the idea!

OP, you are abso-fucking-lutely correct

The bastard autocorrect changes fuck Into duck. It's not intentional, I assure you!

Don't worry. After a while it learns. Mine now changes duck into fuck and who're into whore. It's just recently started to suggest the word cunt. I almost teared up like it was a child on it's first day of school.

Oh here we go again - supposedly mature women showing how cool they are and how foul mouthed they can be.

Do you really go around in real life using all these profanities. If so, it's time you all grew up.

Well that's us fucking told then

I'm a frequent swearer - got worse as I've got older tbh.
Live in Ireland so just "feck" away when I'm in polite company
Jesus Mary & Joseph is also quite satisfying I find

Do you really go around in real life using all these profanities. If so, it's time you all grew up.

Sounds mind numbingly boring. Don't think I shall but thanks for the suggestion. OYFD.

@WillowintheUK Oh bless.

I actually, I mean actually literally really truly honestly genuinely nobutyeahbut 4real, have an actual PhD.

I quite like saying fuck and cunt.

And here's an article that will lead you to some of the research showing that swearing does actually make you stronger and increase your tolerance of pain:

www.theguardian.com/science/2017/may/05/strong-language-swearing-makes-you-stronger-psychologists-confirm

HTH sweetie

Do you really go around in real life using all these profanities

Yes. Yes i do. Now off you fuck cunty chops.

More childish by the minute.

I’m quite fond of fucktard

While I can swear with the best of them in RL, I don't like or use this, because of the link with Retard.

Meanwhile, I actually like a non-swear word when I'm describing someone - "wazzock"

Rolls off the tongue in a satisfying way, especially in an East Mids accent.

@WillowintheUK
Yep and I'm very grown up.
These profanities were ordinary words for centuries you know.
Obviously right place right time and all that

Meh, fuck all wrong with being childish.
At least I'm happy and don't have to trawl the internet to find strangers to tell off for daring to swear.