Step-baby

[LateLatte]

How long should a step-baby wait to meet its new baby sibling? Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

[moredoll]

Can't your DS just phone his dad to congratulate him and ask how it went and when can he come over?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Teenager? So why doesn't he just text his Dad and say can I come and see my new brother then? Mam says she can drop me off / I can catch the bus over etc. Perhaps the lack of asking means thry figure he's not interesed

[bobstersmum]

The woman has just had a brand new baby just give her a few days, unless your child is absolutely itching to meet the baby then just leave it!

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

It's not a step baby OP. As the baby has just been born I wouldn't be stressing right now. Maybe leave it a week and then get DH to ask?

[cheesefield]

The poor woman has just pushed a melon out of her vag, give her a few days to rest and recuperate!

How long was she in labour? Did she have to have stitches? She's probably either asleep or half naked trying to get a wriggling howling baby to latch.

[Bluelady]

For God's sake, why doesn't he just talk to his dad? How hard is it to pick up the phone and say "Hi Dad, congratulations. Can't wait to meet your new baby, can we sort something out?"

[PrincessTwilightStoleMyToddler]

Not a step family set up but I had DD brought in to meet DS about 36 hours after he was born. She was 2 so didn’t entirely understand where mummy was so needed to be brought in quite quickly but equally I needed to be looking ok enough not to scare her and to be able to move about well to give her a cuddle etc, as she wouldn’t have understood why not if I couldn’t. If she was older and more able to understand where I was I might well have waited an extra day or so.

I struggled to breastfeed and spent a lot of time trying to get DS to latch so got my brother (sweet but immature 20 something, mentally pretty teenage) to wait until I was home to visit a few days later. I suspect that something similar might be going on here. In the same way as I did not want my brother there in the first couple of days (and it does not mean that I don’t love him - I really do) I would not have wanted a teenage boy there. I am now happy and confident bf wherever/whenever but just needed a couple of days breather.

[flamingofridays]

Christ its probably not the first thing on her list! she's just given birth ffs. have some understanding! the world does not revolve around you and your son.

[Whoisshequestionmark]

As your son is a teenager why doesn't he just text his dad?
"Hi dad, hope x is well. I can't wait to meet my new sister. Let me know when I can come. Looking forward to seeing you all".
Job done.

[Lovemusic33]

My step children met my dd1 the day after she was born, mainly because it was the day they were due to come over and they were very excited. I think with dd2 it was a few days after but I was unwell and didn’t want to really see anyone, they were still the first people to see her other than my parents who saw her in hospital.

[Juells]

It's all about me.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.......

[Annasgirl]

Well the world may not revolve around the OP and her son but surely her son's dad could try to smooth the relationship with a new sibling by asking him to visit - yes a new baby is wonderful but most of us don't forget about our existing children when we have DC no 2 and DC no 3 etc.

[Lovemusic33]

And it’s not a step sister? It’s her half sister?

[Lovemusic33]

His

[MistressDeeCee]

Your DS wants to meet his brother/sister..of course it's a priority that he does.

I don't know why you're getting a hard time OP. it's not as if you've come on here to say that your DS has a new half-brother/sister and you think he shouldn't be interested in meeting his half sibling at all.

How can you be wrong for caring? It's ridiculous around here at times

Nothing you can do but wait and hope unfortunately though

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Half siblings completely different.

If I had a newborn, I would not want my EX turning up the same day ,

[genivert]

Oh give it up op.
There is no "should" here. And stop pretending you're feeling sad and this is a situation where your DS isn't being sufficiently prioritiesed.

None of the answers on here could help you, you don't know how the birth went, how newborn is or how mum is feeling nor might they have shared medical details with you - it's like you made this post to say "seeeeeee,79% of people say it should happen within 24hrs" as ammunition to manipulate people into doing what you want.

Horrible behaviour.

[anitagreen]

It's when she's ready she could be exhausted right now and the last thing you want is hosting people around yours, family or not I just wanted to be with my husband and spend time with the baby.

[genivert]

And now I've just spotted that the sibling is a teenage boy.

What on earth are you sniffing, op?

It depends on the relationship but I can't imagine mostnew mums are comfortable being visited by their ex and a teenage boy when they've just given birth, got stitches, maybe struggling to get around or bond and start breastfeeding....

This gets more rediculous the more I read

[Winchester89]

Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

Here lies your problem. You are assuming. You know nothing.
My stepson met his baby sister the day after she was born (she was born close to midnight) but I was ready for him to do so.
I'm having another and both stepson and DD will come to meet the new baby when I am ready - makes no difference whether they are full/half siblings. That may be the same day - it may be a few days later - it just depends on the situation.

You know absolutely nothing and if your son is a teenager I also don't understand why he hasn't just spoken to his dad to ask?

Is he upset? Or have you somehow managed to make this situation about you?

[Bibidy]

It's really nothing to do with you, your DS is old enough to text his dad and ask how the baby is and when is a good time to visit.

When you said your DS was upset I thought you were going to say he was about 6!

[flamingofridays]

its not forgetting about your existing children for one thing, ops son is not his step mothers existing child, yes his dad should have texted but hes probably v busy supporting a very tired woman who has just had a baby.

from her POV she is possibly trying to establish breastfeeding, probably really uncomfortable. I felt like shit straight after birth and I had a relatively straight forward labour.

I did NOT want to entertain a teenage boy.

[InertPotato]

I empathise with your position, OP.

The new mother is obviously within her rights to organise it as she sees fit, but it would be nice for your son to be invited to visit. I have teenage boys and I can imagine how anxious they'd be to see the baby in your son's shoes.

Half siblings completely different.

If I had a newborn, I would not want my EX turning up the same day

Surely a teenage boy can make his own way to see the baby? I think the point is that half-siblings are meant to feel as part of the mix as possible, have I got that right?

[TheDarkPassenger]

I can’t believe the replies on here. I’m with you OP!

My step son met his baby sister the morning after she was born (born 1am) wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it’s disgusting people’s attitudes towards step kids, if you didn’t want a child to have to consider or care for you shouldn’t have set up home with someone with one, fucking simple

[elliejjtiny]

Should be the same as full siblings imo. Doesn't have to be immediately but they should be the first visitors, after Dad but before Grandparents. My older dc's were the first visitors to all their younger siblings apart from the youngest. My older ds's paediatrician came to visit my youngest baby first which caused a bit of a stir as the nurses were all wondering why she turned up when nobody had bleeped her. My older dc's were next though, when he was about 15 hours old and before I'd seen him myself.