Step-baby

[LateLatte]

How long should a step-baby wait to meet its new baby sibling? Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

[abacucat]

You don't even say how the birth went. She could be at the stage of not really being up for anyone visiting.

[SimplyPut]

Are you sure all is well?

[abacucat]

And since the child is very young, much much better for him to meet his new half sibling when his mum is feeling okay and can give him positive attention.

[LateLatte]

@SleepingStandingUp half, yes. They know the offer to drop him off is there. I know nothing about the birth but few births are straightforward or easy. I expect they have had visitors, just not DS!

[LateLatte]

DS is a teenager, eager to meet the baby.

[abacucat]

You know nothing about the birth! Then you really are in no position to judge. Some mothers are home after 6 hours, so yes some births are much much easier than others. Some the mother almost dies and is very ill afterwards.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

So you're taking it as an insult, because you're sure they have had visitors already, even though you don't know anything at all.

[ohshitonit]

"few births are straight forward or easy" what do she should just tolerate a child there? Screw that. I had pre eclampsia and felt like utter shit after.

[Rachie1973]

If he’s a teen he’s old enough to understand it’s not always possible straight away

[Wheresthebeach]

Bluntly - she's just had a baby so cut her some slack. There's no point in deciding to take it as a slight.

[Saltedcaramelcake]

I had a straightforward birth and went home later that day, I still didn't have our daughter (a full sibling) meet the new baby until the following evening. We wanted some time to sleep, me to recover a little and just a bit of time to bond with the new baby before introducing them. Maybe the new much just wants a few days to bond or maybe she had a terrible birth. I don't think you are really thinking about her in all this.

[Saltedcaramelcake]

He's a teenager? I was imagining an upset 6 year old! Pretty sure you can explain to a teenager that she has just given birth and maybe wants a bit of space for a few days.

[Inertia]

So you’re guessing and assuming and expecting ? You don’t even know that all went smooth l, or whether there were complications.It’s not about you, and it’s not about your son. Perhaps the new mother has had visitors- maybe her own mother, who can help her while she recovers. She’ll see her stepson once she’s feeling ready, but for now she’s probably still in a lot of pain, leaky and bleeding, maybe trying to get to grips with feeding, and exhausted. I very much doubt she’s got the energy to scheme about how to exclude your son.

[Pumpkintopf]

I agree op your son being introduced to a new step sibling should be a priority particularly if your ex dh has had other visitors there.

[timeisnotaline]

My son didn’t meet his sibling till the next day , and it would have been two days if I’d stayed in hospital an extra day. They’ll be siblings forever, but the baby’s mum only gave birth seconds ago. Plenty of time!

[abacucat]

Is the mother your son's mother or step mother?

[HeddaGarbled]

There is a world of difference between you having your second child and including your first, and your ex’s new partner having her first child and including a teenage step-son. You know this really, don’t you? It’s been one day. Don’t you remember what it was like when you had your first child? Give the woman a break. If other family have visited before your son, that’s on your ex, not her.

[kmc1111]

Does it matter? It’s been 36 hours, not 36 days. I didn’t see my own DC for 2+ days after each birth, it’s not like it’s terribly unusual.

[Akanamali]

Being annnoyed with your ex's partner is unreasonable. However I would have expected a decent dad to make a quick phone call to your son explaining that their baby brother/sister has been born and they'll be able to see them as soon as possible. If the mother is still recovering and not up to taking visitors yet it would be kind if he'd explained that to him as DS is bound to be feeling a little insecure right now. You can't really assume that they've had other visitors but if they have and they're just not prioritising your son, then ofcourse that's a bit shit.

[Honeyroar]

I would give them a bit of slack, it was only a day ago. Let your son send a text to his dad saying congratulations and he's looking forward to seeing the baby. See what comes back.

[funinthesun18]

When mum and baby are good and ready. I’m not sure what “effort” you want her personally to make.

[Wheresthel1ght]

My step kids had to wait 3 weeks as their dm booked a holiday and took them. To Cornwall. Do was devastated. I was booked for an induction and the holiday was booked after I was given my date so was a deliberate act on the part of their dm. However, I banned all visitors from coming to the hospital when I had dd so even if they had been near by they wouldn't have seen dd until she was a couple of days old. I had a relatively easy birth, however dd wasn't breathing properly and had to be monitored closely for 24 hours. Our focus was on ensuring we got out of hospital and got dd to see my mil who was dying. Unfortunately however much my dsc would have wanted to see dd, mil was our priority. Ultimately you have no idea what has gone on, there could be issues with the baby, or her. Your ex could be at their side waiting for news. Manage your sons expectations and stop seeing it as a slight to him

[Blondebakingmumma]

You don’t know how the birth went. She may also be trying to establish breastfeeding and feel uncomfortable doing that infront of a teenage boy

[VanillaBeans]

To be honest it comes across that you are the one feeling slighted over a perception of the situation you have without knowing what’s going on. The reason I’ve said that is because you said you “expect” they’ve had visitors. Even if they have, after giving birth especially if I’d had any difficulty I’d want to see my mum or sister but not any friends or children. It really is up to the new mother, it doesn’t mean she’s a horrible person for not wanting visitors in hospital. In fact the second time around I would have loved absolutely no visitors until I was out of hospital. I would just leave the mother and newborn and not cause any stress, your son will obviously meet his half sibling.