To let DD wear this dress to a wedding?

[veruka]

My friend thinks it's unfair on the bridesmaids/bride?

https://www.matalan.co.uk/product/detail/s2652137c356/girls-corsage-bridesmaid-dress-3-13yrs-cream?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxOOpkrHU3QIVLZPtCh2o5g63EAQYKCABEgJjlPDBwE

It's fine (lovely dress). Keep to coloured accessories (cardigan, shoes) and keep hair fairly simple.

It is a pretty dress. I would let her wear it. She is only 4!

It just looks like a party dress to me, I can't see anything particularly bridesmaidish about it.

If it's a UK wedding she'll need a cardi or similar anyway by now so just get a bright pink cardi and shoes and it will take it a bit more obviously into party frock territory rather than bridesmaid. She's so little it honestly won't matter anyway, not as if an adult was wearing a white ball gown.

I'd ask the bride, but if it doesn't match the colour scheme for the bridesmaids dresses then surely it's fine. It's very pretty and she's only little! Not like an adult guest turning up in a white frock.

It's a bit bridesmaidy but nothing a cardi wouldn't sort out. It's a sweet little dress and hardly a colour match to the theme. Let her wear it whilst she fits it.

I’m guessing it’s pale blue with a chocolate brown?! Rather than royal blue and...poo?! Also...why would you send a child who isn’t a bridesmaid in a bridesmaid dress? I’ve seen this thing a lot recently. Children wearing bridesmaid dresses that aren’t in the bridal party. I always think that it screams that they either wanted their child to be a bridesmaid or they wanted their child to be the centre of attention. I was at a wedding recently were there were only page boys and one bridesmaid who was the best friend of the bride. She dressed her daughter in the biggest poofiest cream tulle dress that looked like a ballgown with a gold sequinned bodice. The child was around 9 and very large for her age height wise and she was also wearing a crown and had had her hair professionally done. She arrived wearing a fur cape and she was paraded around like some sort of prize cow throughout the day. I didn’t know the little girl but she made a point of telling me that the bride and groom hadn’t wanted a flower girl and asking me what I thought of her dress and telling me where it was bought. I was a complete stranger so I imagine she’d said this to everyone who’s attention she could get. I felt so sorry for her as her mother had clearly felt she had been overlooked and had made a point of making her stick out, not just like a sore thumb but as the main focal point. The brides dress was incredibly simple and it was a very understated day. Everywhere I looked I kept seeing this child looking like she was in an American beauty pageant with this gigantic dress and huge hair and a crown FFS! It must be getting more popular to do this kind of thing as I drove past a wedding party in my town the other day and saw a little girl in a pure white floorlength satin sticky out dress with a wide royal blue sash and big royal blue ribbons in her hair. I thought “oh a little flower girl“ as it was clearly a specially made dress and then I spied the rest of the bridal party behind her in a completely different colour scheme and Grecian style floaty dresses. I just think it’s a very weird thing to do, and wonder what the thought process is behind it.

I would always query with the bride before wearing white to a wedding, or dressing my kids in it.

Ask the bride. I’m a (relatively) newlywed and I would have no issue at all with this dress.

For gawds sake. She’s 4, it’s a lovely dress. She will look gorgeous. If anyone is “offended” or “disapproves” then they’re a dick!

If I was the bride I personally wouldn't mind. I think it's a pretty dress for a young girl! Just ask her :) that's all you need to do!

I can't imagine too many people noticing what dress your 4 year old DD is wearing, especially with what you've told us about the colour scheme. There's no way she could be mistaken for a flower girl and she's hardly going to jaunt down the isle, is she?

But to be on the safe side, you should ask the bride.

I'd like to say it'll be fine. But I caused tremendous offence by dressing my 2 month old daughter in a white dress for a 3 year old's naming day party. I didn't mean to - it was a gift and I couldn't think of any other time I'd put her in it before it was outgrown, but I was well told off by the naming day girl's mother.

Not read all the comments - can't see anybody having any issue with what a 4 year old wore! She's a tot ~ any nice pretty frock will do. The one chosen looks ideal.

As you already have the dress, I suppose you will have to let her wear it but I think it will look to others as though you are making a statement and wanted her to be a flower girl. The description of the dress tells you what it is so how you missed the point I do not know. Be ready for looks and possibly some comments. Your fault, not your daughter's. If you had other parties she could wear it to, I'd be getting another dress for the wedding.

Tulips dress is gorgeous

It's not about "who cares, she's only 4". At my wedding, I had simple clean white roses. And the groom, the best man, and the two page boys had them as buttonholes, and the bridesmaids and flower girls had them clipped here and there. It identified us as the wedding party. It was to separate us in photos, it let other guests know who was who if they were extended family. My aunt and her whole immediate family (8 of them) decided to order their own corsages. Pink and white roses with fussy bits. They didn't match, they didn't go with my deliberately chosen look, it's the one day the bride and groom get it to look how they want. They looked like they wanted to be seen as wedding party, it pissed off my other aunt because she thought they looked more included. It's really bad etiquette to dress your child in a flower girls outfit if she's not part of the wedding party. Don't even ask the bride, if she's too polite to say no, she'll be annoyed internally. This is their day, you shouldn't be dressing her up as a flower girl (in a different dress to the actual flower girls) at a wedding where she is not one.

It's a lovely dress and at 4 I don't think anyone will give it a second thought. If they do, who honestly cares. Let her wear it.

I'm pretty sure some of the little girls who came to my wedding wore dresses like that - I really wouldn't have cared in the slightest - and I didn't have a colour theme or anything. So it depends on the bride, OP - do you think she's the kind of person who cares what a 4 year old wears?

wannabe. I bet the child’s mum didn’t even notice, let alone care! The granny is nuts. If you’re at a naming ceremony, you generally know the child...it’s not terribly easy to confuse a 3 year old with a 2 month old baby. Don’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong!

When I got married my cousin’s little girl wore something similar. She looked gorgeous and I made sure she got on lots of photos. It never occurred to me that her mum was trying to upstage anyone or be that mum. I was just pleased she’d made such an effort for my wedding and was enjoying herself. Let her wear it. If you have any doubts, just ask the bride.

It is fine- just like lots of monsoon dresses which are just party dresses.

The age of the child is irrelevant because it is the mother who has decided to put her in the dress.

FFS. Talk to the bridal couple. Never mind what anyone else thinks. Do you know them well enough to say, look, is it all right if DD wears her favourite 'best' dress even if she looks a bit like a flower girl? People probably won't actually give a fuck. Most 'party' dresses for 4 year old girls look like bridesmaid dresses anyway.

The colour scheme is brown and blue, I think it'll be fine but I would doue check with the bride as it might be v v similar bar the band colour