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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD wear this dress to a wedding?

384 replies

veruka · 24/09/2018 20:36

My friend thinks it's unfair on the bridesmaids/bride?

https://www.matalan.co.uk/product/detail/s2652137c356/girls-corsage-bridesmaid-dress-3-13yrs-cream?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxOOpkrHU3QIVLZPtCh2o5g63EAQYKCABEgJjlPDBwE

OP posts:
GoToSleepNOW · 24/09/2018 21:40

Blue and brown as a colour scheme though? Can't get past that! Hmm

CaledonianQueen · 24/09/2018 21:40

There is nothing overly bridal about the dress from your OP, I would think it may be outshined by the likes of the dresses shared on this thread. I certainly can’t see anyone thinking your dd is a flower girl from that dress! It is very pretty but just a party dress! I would not let my daughter wear it to a wedding that is soon, purely because it is a summer dress and I love the excuse to shop the lovely autumn/ winter style dresses! Particularly the monsoon dresses- they have gorgeous bold winter coloured dresses with beautiful matching cardigans that would look better for this time of year (as well as keeping her warmer).

isseywithcats · 24/09/2018 21:41

at my daughters wedding on saturday a mom with two girls had picked a dress for her younger daughter that was almost identical to the two main bridesmaids dresses, ie royal blue and high low hem, and my daughter was to say the least not impressed, and other people commented too, so if you are going to let her wear that dress put a cardigan over it to dress it down a bit, it also depends on what the bridesmaids will actually be wearing, if this is too similar just dont do it

Twotailed · 24/09/2018 21:41

Its very clearly a bridesmaid dress. If she isn’t a bridesmaid it will look like you’re trying to pretend that she is. Can you fob her off with a similar style in a less bridesmaidy colour?

PeonyTruffle · 24/09/2018 21:44

It's pretty but also described on the site as a flower girl dress so unless she's a flower girl I wouldn't put her in it

WhatchaMaCalllit · 24/09/2018 21:47

If you have to ask, then don't put her in it. The suggestion by @Tulips up thread would be a perfect alternative.

Zofloramummy · 24/09/2018 21:48

My daughter went to a wedding aged 5 in a beautiful handmade dress I got from a fair. It had masses of netting in pink and silver as the skirt and looked like a ballerina dress. The wedding colours were gold and blue. She had a cardi over the top. People if they commented at all just asked where I’d got the dress from and how lovely it was. I really think it’ll be fine. I’d got the dress for another occasion and tbh couldn’t afford to buy another one! She wore it a year later with doc martins and a leather biker jacket to another wedding (it was that kind of wedding!).

AhoyDelBoy · 24/09/2018 21:49

@clippityclop the OP already has the dress. Colour scheme sounds interesting Hmm

SunflowerJo08 · 24/09/2018 21:53

You could change the tone of it by covering up with a pink cardi and butterfly wings, that way she's more like a fairy than a bridesmaid

Pythonesque · 24/09/2018 21:53

I'd also say definitely go ahead and take a little girl dressed up beautifully - there are few enough occaisons to do that as it is! We didn't have any further weddings to go to after my daughter was a flowergirl for her uncle's wedding at about that age. But her specially made dress went to most of the birthday parties she went to over the next few years, as long as she could squeeze into it! It did help that several in reception were specifically "princess" parties. (We even considered it for her brother for a school play when he was about 7 ...)

TeacupDrama · 24/09/2018 21:54

as you said scheme is blue and brown so if she was a flower girl she would be in blue I imagine; that is pink, there is no danger of her being confused with bridal party, I would not buy another party dress for a 4 year old. team with pink cardigan/ bolero and pink tights and normal shoes not bridesmaid shoes but no flowers in hair and it will be fine

Crunchymum · 24/09/2018 21:57

I'm also agog at the blue and brown colour scheme!!!

Raven88 · 24/09/2018 21:58

I would ask the bride, all the little guests at my wedding wore similar dresses and they looked so cute. None of them were in the bridal party. I was totally fine with it. But I was a relaxed bride, If someone had wore a white dress I would of been cool with it.

MaryDollNesbitt · 24/09/2018 21:58

Just looks like a nice party frock to me. I've never understood the nonsense over what is and isn't allowed at a wedding. Seems like such a ridiculous fuss over nothing. She's 4. I don't see the issue at all.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/09/2018 21:58

isseywithcats. Royal blue is hardly a colour people would generally consider off limits. It sounds as if it was more of an unfortunate coincidence as the two girls weren’t dressed the same so I wouldn’t have thought the parent was trying to make a statement.

scrivette · 24/09/2018 22:07

It's a lovely dress and as long as you don't put her in a cream, blue or brown cardigan it will be fine.

Pebblesandfriends · 24/09/2018 22:10

Just dye it ( not in any colour associated with the wedding), if it's not white it won't look do weddingy

Aridane · 24/09/2018 22:12

It’s a lovely flower girl / bridesmaid dress

MrsFezziwig · 24/09/2018 22:15

It entirely depends on the attitude of the bride - and I don't say this because I think that bridezilla attitudes should be pandered to, but rather that it would be upsetting to OP and her daughter if the bride did decide to kick off. Instead of asking total strangers their opinion, ask the bride (I'm assuming you know her) what the bridesmaids are wearing and whether she would have a problem if DD wore the dress, given that it will save you having to fork out money on another dress (which she will soon have grown out of). And I'm sniggering at the thought of wedding guests engaging a 4 year old in conversation as to whether she is a flower girl or not - they'll know that when she doesn't walk down the aisle with the bridal party.

daisychain01 · 24/09/2018 22:16

Mumsnetters are all crowding onto the site for a sneaky peak lol.

Curlypop · 24/09/2018 22:17

I don't see the issue with it. It's lovely. Wouldn't bother me as a bride

Duskqueen · 24/09/2018 22:22

I bought a beautiful dress for my DD to wear to my friends wedding, it was kind of bridesmaidy, so I just sent a photo of it to the bride to ask if she minded and she said no it's fine. Ask the bride if she has a problem with it, take your DD out on a shopping trip and let her pick another one.

Charmatt · 24/09/2018 22:23

Grin this reminds me of my DH's 2nd cousins at our wedding. His Grandma told everyone they were wearing 'those dresses because SHE didn't ask them to be bridesmaids!' I'd met them twice in 5 years!

FuckyDuzz · 24/09/2018 22:27

I’m sorry - blue and brown!?! What the what?? Hmm

anniehm · 24/09/2018 22:29

If you already own it and it isn't the same as the wedding party's outfits then it's fine, people expect little girls to want to wear such dresses more than once

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