To let DD wear this dress to a wedding?

[veruka]

My friend thinks it's unfair on the bridesmaids/bride?

https://www.matalan.co.uk/product/detail/s2652137c356/girls-corsage-bridesmaid-dress-3-13yrs-cream?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxOOpkrHU3QIVLZPtCh2o5g63EAQYKCABEgJjlPDBwE

I’m not sure if mumsnet automatically put links in... they would surely declare it? Maybe not I don’t know

How many adult women are really going to care what a 4 year old wears to their wedding? Really?

The clue’s in the name. Get a different dress

She's 4, she has the dress and likes it, I can't see a problem. A darker pink cardigan would take it out of the 'bridesmaid' look.

Have you asked the bride?

What is wrong with people? It's a dress for a little girl. If she does get "mistaken for a flower girl " will anyone die?! I was just happy to have my friends and family at my wedding, what they chose to wear was irrelevant! They could've turned up in jeans for all I cared! People are far too previous over weddings. You're marrying the love if your life and you've chosen to share that moment with your nearest and dearest. THAT'S what's important.

She's 4 - hardly think it's a big deal - it's a pretty dress and that's all

It's the cream,
It's the netting,
It's the satin bodice,
It's the big bow on the back,
etc.

Previous = precious!

How desperate?
Bet OP sends her in the dress, anyway...

Google flower girl and almost all images look like the dress in the OP www.google.co.uk/search?safe=strict&biw=1405&bih=706&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=BHmqW5HBIunjsAe7rJTQBA&q=flower+girls&oq=flower+girls&gs_l=img.3..0i67k1j0l9.12169.14570.0.14792.12.9.0.3.3.0.217.879.7j1j1.9.0....0...1c.1.64.img..0.12.887....0.lC4mVlr6wTM

I definitely wouldn't put my dd in that dress unless she was a flower girl or bridesmaid. People will think you're making a statement. The photographer will probably start putting your dd in the bridesmaid photos

She is a little girl who wants to wear a pretty dress, what is the matter with people!!!

Ah, thanks Squidgy not something I know about so didn't spot it.

My ex SIL (we hated each other) pulled a stunt at my wedding. l only had one bridesmaid, my 22 year old cousin. My wedding, my choice.
A few weeks before the wedding, SIL announces that her mum's neighbour has "some gorgeous pre-war silk" which she had offered to make her 1 year old a dress for the wedding. "And l hope you don't mind, but it's peach (the colour l had for my bridesmaid!), l hope you won't think we're trying to make her look like a little bridesmaid!" sickly sly grin
Which is exactly what she was trying to do. She said it in front of her parents and my in laws to be, knowing that if l refused l'd look like a complete bitch. l was furious, but couldn't do anything about it, and on the wedding day, if anyone commented about "the tiny bridesmaid" l put them straight.
Please don't do it. Or ask the bride, but you risk the situation l was put in. People don't like to say no, but it could spoil her day.

I think it depends on how full on any flower girl dresses are. I wouldn’t have minded for my wedding as my flower girl had a pretty big white dress with a coloured bow that coordinated with the bridesmaids’ dresses. You couldn’t have mistaken her for being in a party dress rather than being part of the wedding party. But if the wedding has flower girls in more subtle dresses, you might might close to what they’re wearing (although doubtful with a blue colour scheme). I’d have thought you’d be ok with bright tights and a cardigan but there are lots of people with strong opinions so you might not want to rock the boat.

If Tulips suggested dress had the words 'flower girl' or 'wedding' in the description you would all be against it.

I think it is fine as long as it is different to the bridesmaid’s dresses no one will think it is a bridesmaids dress. And four is young enough. Just no tiaras etc

Thanks from me as well, Squidgy, I've learnt something new too.

Oh god she's only 4! Would anyone really object to a 4yo wearing this dress to their wedding??

An actual grown up woman mature enough to get married would not have her day spoiled by a 4 yo in a nice dress.

And as for all the comments about the dress being marketed as a flower girl dress - you do realise that's just so they can stick a tenner on the price, right?

Absolutely bonkers thread!

Hope your 4 yo enjoys her special day op

I wouldn’t have her wear it. She will look like a flower girl in it. Then, whether for right or wrong, a lot of people will think you have had poor etiquette/judgement choosing the dress. They might think you have told your daughter ‘you can be a flower girl too’. Just take her out to choose another dress. It looks very summery anyway, and summer is gone!

Do not discuss outfits beforehand.

Haven’t rtft so don’t know where we are with this now, but I remember my mother putting me in my pure white very obviously a bridesmaid’s dress for her cousin’s wedding later that year, at which I definitely wasn’t a bridesmaid. Had no feelings about it at the time - I was 5 - but cringe when I look at the photo now .... and can’t help thinking the bride must’ve been more than a bit pissed off.

Perhaps it’s different for you, though, if your DD’s desperate to wear that dress.