To think I shouldn't be expected to go to BILs birthday dinner?!

[l0stmummy]

ILs are celebrating BILs birthday at a rather nice restaurant. Under normal circumstances I would go. I'm not BILs biggest fan but I would always put on a smile and go as a family unit. However, I had a tooth extraction on Friday last week that had some complications. Long story short, its gotten infected and I have a face the size of a house. I can only see properly out of one eye, and the antibiotics I'm on are making me feel rotten. I'm in alot of pain and have no appetite. AIBU to think I shouldn't be expected to go to this family meal tonight? DH thinks I should still attend and is being quite stubborn about it.

This was all about you taking sole responsibility for your baby whilst he got to show off and be a twat. Let him sulk.

Tooth extraction trumps pretty much anything as far as I'm concerned. Don't go. Chances are you wouldn't be able to eat much anyway, so it would be a waste of money too.

l0stmummy "I didn't end up going." Hooray. "We just fought it out for the past half an hour and he's left. Left DD with me - unsurprisingl" He's a bit of a prize shit isn't he. Sorry you are married to an arse hole.

He is an abusive shit. Trying to coerce you to go with whining and tantrums. Then to leave dd when he should have taken her with him is more shit. I would photo your face and watsapp to say husband is on his way, sorry you couldn't make it but you are very ill.

That's dreadful

First of all op poor you hope you feel better soon.

Second, tell him to sod off if it was him I'm sure he'd be doing an Oscar worthy performance of dying!

Alternatively go, initially be silent and then start weeping in pain making sure you've sat yourself in the middle of the group so every one can see. Tell people dh forced you to go when they ask what's wrong so the all know what a mean arsehole he is.

Op, you know you don’t have to fight it out with him for half an hour. You can just say no. And repeat I’ve told you my decision, it’s very nasty and uncaring of you to want me to go feeling and looking the way i do. And walk away .something to remember for next time.

Glad you didn't go OP, hope you are better soon. No idea why everyone is dragging me into this though. Or why the return key isn't working on here tonight

This is bizarre, is he normally so unreasonable ?!

Well he's a delight, isn't he? He also sounds like he really can't deal with his own family (birth family obv).

OP, was it you that posted that your "D"H was putting you down for your lack of formal education? Do you think it might be time to consider your options?

@gottastopeatingchocolate unfortunately yes :(

What Worra said . reply ‘jadfiewahnds’ to everything he says tomorrow and he’ll understand how much your mouth hurts
Did he just want you there to manage DD? Why is my return button fucked?

I remember your other thread OP. He sounds like a total dick. You don't have to put up with this shit. All the best

Op the next move in this playbook is usually him sulking/giving silent treatment etc. This is emotional abuse, if he carries on this way in the morning do not feel bad, do not engage. And think about your options. Imagine a life where you don't have to put up with this nonsense!

timeisnotaline I totally agree "Op, you know you don’t have to fight it out with him for half an hour. You can just say no. And repeat I’ve told you my decision, it’s very nasty and uncaring of you to want me to go feeling and looking the way i do. And walk away .something to remember for next time." When I had really bad toothache I am not sure I could have looked after a pencil, let alone a baby!!!!!!!!!!! SleightOfMind " Why is my return button fucked?" Mine too!

Why the fuck are you still with this cunt?your too good for this piece of shit!

It's your carriage returns that are fucked, ladies, not the return button itself. Seems to be a site-wide thing if you're on mobile. I learned the term this evening incidentally and think it sounds tres fancy

Oh and op, I missed your other thread. He puts you down for a lack of formal education? He's showing his own ignorance there. I have one grandfather who never went to university (actually none of them did) but is one of the cleverest men I know, and a grandmother who was only schooled up to the age of 11 but is held in near-reverence by my (highly educated) dad, her son, for her wisdom and good sense. Your partner is a twunt and stupid to boot. You deserve better.

Why are you still with him? Gather some self respect and leave, for your children's sake or else they'll grow up thinking his manipulating and controlling and verbal/emotional abuse of you is how all husbands are supposed to treat their partners. He is a maggot!

He is gaslighting you and making out you’re the one with the problem. He is the one with the problem. He is being an asshat for insisting you go while you are sick. Would it be different if you had the flu?? “Oh, you don’t need to eat you can just watch us eat”. He is the one with the problem and probably just wants you to drive him.

I can't honestly see the gaslighting, I think he's being a total out in the open arsehole.

Get shot OP. He sounds like hard work.

OP, was it you that posted that your "D"H was putting you down for your lack of formal education?

Right, well this on top of the pressuring you to go out makes me feel that you've got some quite big problems. But I'm sure you knew that.

I'm glad you didn't go and I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Please do not trivialise gas lighting by using that term in this case. Your OH is an ass though.

I hope you are feeling a little better today OP. I think you may have bigger problems than one meal to worry about. Personally, I would have been upset over the lack of thought he showed last night, even if you can justify his appalling behaviour. The thing that struck me most was his tantrumming like a toddler. Generally ignore tantrumming toddlers and leave them to come around on their own. I get the feeling that your DH won’t be ignored or learn to behave like a proper grown up Man.