To think I shouldn't be expected to go to BILs birthday dinner?!

[l0stmummy]

ILs are celebrating BILs birthday at a rather nice restaurant. Under normal circumstances I would go. I'm not BILs biggest fan but I would always put on a smile and go as a family unit. However, I had a tooth extraction on Friday last week that had some complications. Long story short, its gotten infected and I have a face the size of a house. I can only see properly out of one eye, and the antibiotics I'm on are making me feel rotten. I'm in alot of pain and have no appetite. AIBU to think I shouldn't be expected to go to this family meal tonight? DH thinks I should still attend and is being quite stubborn about it.

No no no ! Don't go! Let him whine and sulk. He's not your boss! Does he always order you around? Just say no and mean it!

What a total arse!!! No chance should you be going out

Op please don't go!!

God, I can barely be arsed attending any inlaws' birthday celebrations and I DEFINITELY would not be going if I'd been through what you've had!

DO NOT GO.

If you give in now he'll know all he ever had to do is throw a tantrum and you'll cave to his whims.

Woman up. Stay put. Ignore the whining.

Why are you putting him above you?

You've already said he wouldn't go to a family meal with your family so what is the issue?

Don't you dare go. You'll put people off their food you won't but that's the official party line I'd lead with

Enjoy a relaxing time on sofa 😀

"Honestly think I'm gonna go" Why would you even think about it? No wonder he's behaving like a twat if he knows that he'll get the result he wants!

FFS 10st - stay at home, stand up for yourself. Would you take your child out if they were in pain with a swollen face, no you wouldn't because you are not a sulky twat.

we should show face Show them your face - whatsapp them a photo of your freakishy swollen lopsided monster face and say you can't eat, can't drink and feel shite so won't be going.

You're a fool if you go to the meal. Seriously, get a backbone and tell him to fuck off and leave you alone. I take it he always gets his way by using this sort of behaviour. It's really dreadful.

Seriously your going to give in WTF hes basically bullied you into going get a grip take some tablets and go to bed he has no respect for you or concern for your well being and sounds like a road to domestic abuse.

No..you're ill!!

Dental pain is one of the worst pains you can have. There's no way he can expect you to socialise with anyone in that state. I'd call BIL myself, explain how bad it is and apologise - making sure you mention you're still happy for DP to attend without you. Also, if it helps, chamomile is quite effective for easing dental pain - if you can bare it steep a chamomile tea bag in hot water then hold it inside your mouth for a few minutes. Holland and Barret also do Chamomile granules. Hope your mouth feels better soon

total waste of time anyone replying to this thread then if you're going to just roll over when he stamps his foot

Show him this thread, there isn't one poster who says you're unreasonable. Might make him realise what a cunt he's being

What an arsehole. Please don't go, don't let him manipulate you.

No, you definitely shouldn’t go, you poor thing. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

You go and you are a huge fool. This shit will never stop because he knows he can bully, manipulate and control you. You are NOT a child, you are an adult ffs. Find your spine and tell him no. NO NO NO NO

OP, please don't give in to his bullying!

FullMetalRabbit, that's what I would have said ... once. Now I know how you can find yourself in the sort of position where going is easier than not. I'm not saying that's the right thing, but I'm not as certain as I used to be in telling other people what they should and shouldn't do.

I meant to say, it sounds as though he is used to getting his way with you, but it really shows a complete lack of respect for you! He obviously cares more about what other people think than your health and wellbeing! Does he have any good points? It doesn't sound like it... Don't you think you deserve better than this?

If you go then you're enabling him. Don't do it op.

NO NO NO!! Do not reward his whining, this will stand you in good stead for the terrible twos, I insist you stay home and remain comfortable, do not pander to this fuckwit.

And from tomorrow I would suggest looking at the long-term plan of getting away from this individual. This is not healthy. I suggested there were bigger issues when I first posted because normal, respectful loving people don't pull this crap on others. Only abusers do. Get your documents together, leave and freedom program

You're a fool if you let this idiot bully you into going, OP