To think I shouldn't be expected to go to BILs birthday dinner?!

[l0stmummy]

ILs are celebrating BILs birthday at a rather nice restaurant. Under normal circumstances I would go. I'm not BILs biggest fan but I would always put on a smile and go as a family unit. However, I had a tooth extraction on Friday last week that had some complications. Long story short, its gotten infected and I have a face the size of a house. I can only see properly out of one eye, and the antibiotics I'm on are making me feel rotten. I'm in alot of pain and have no appetite. AIBU to think I shouldn't be expected to go to this family meal tonight? DH thinks I should still attend and is being quite stubborn about it.

Please don't, OP! Why does he think whining like a toddler is attractive or any way for a grown-up to behave?

Don't go, he's a knob.

I think she's gone unfortunately

Diggingmywayout you're right, it's easy for me to say as my DH would never (and has never) force me to do something I didn't want to do if I was ill or similar. I just hope the OP can get the help she needs to leave this abusive twat eventually.

You have been conditioned to give in the more he moans and tantrums. On many threads on here I've seen people advised not to give in with their toddlers and to be consistent. I think it works the same when they're grown men. If you give in now then he knows his behaviour will work next time.

I really really hope you’ve not gone. I would seriously be telling him to fuck right off if he nagged me into going. You sound horrendously ill, why has he got no compassion for you whilst you are in this state?

Don’t go. Instead jadfiewahnds

I really hope that when she gets there her ILs twig how ill she is and shame the bastard into bringing her home again. What an utter cunt.

Why on earth are you married to such a bullying, nasty twat? You do realise it's not normal to be treated this way by the person who is meant to love you, right...?

You are giving him the green light to up his controlling behaviour imo.

Please tell me you’ve not gone!

FullMetalRabbit, thanks. I do too. Posting on here is a great start.

I'm finding this a little hard to believe. Are you really with someone that cares SO little about you? Get out as fast as you can.

I didn't end up going. We just fought it out for the past half an hour and he's left. Left DD with me - unsurprisingly- so that's curling up on the sofa for a bit down the drain

Why do you think he was so desperate for you to go?

Honestly no clue

Was your DD supposed to go? My EXH was like this too. Would keep going on and on until I gave in.

I hope you manage to get some rest

Agree with a pp. It is classic abusive behaviour. All about control.

Well done for not going. I hope it was because you stood up for yourself. OK so you have DD with you - but enjoy it even if it wasn't what you really wanted. I assume he left DD with you as a punishment, to make sure you didn't get your evening to yourself. Hopefully for your sake, it's not too big a punishment.

Bloody hell! I had complications after an extraction - 3 weeks off work, another 3 at least before I was fully recovered, and for most of that time I would have cheerfully sliced half my face off to relieve the excruciating pain.

He really is an asshole of the highest order.

Ffs. A decent person would have taken DD with them and given you some rest. Not fought with you and buggered off in a huff. What a cunt.

You really need to reconsider your future with this man. A loving husband does not behave like this. (This is me saying LTB)

What a prize twat he is. Well done for standing your ground and not going.

How on earth can someone expect you to go out and socialise with a swollen face??