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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't be expected to go to BILs birthday dinner?!

227 replies

l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 17:48

ILs are celebrating BILs birthday at a rather nice restaurant. Under normal circumstances I would go. I'm not BILs biggest fan but I would always put on a smile and go as a family unit. However, I had a tooth extraction on Friday last week that had some complications. Long story short, its gotten infected and I have a face the size of a house. I can only see properly out of one eye, and the antibiotics I'm on are making me feel rotten. I'm in alot of pain and have no appetite. AIBU to think I shouldn't be expected to go to this family meal tonight? DH thinks I should still attend and is being quite stubborn about it.

OP posts:
Threeminis · 24/09/2018 18:18

Instagram that really made me laugh 😂

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 24/09/2018 18:20

Tell him to say Quasimodo sends her regards!!

onalongsabbatical · 24/09/2018 18:20

Oh ffs of course you shouldn't go, please put your foot down and say NO! NO NO NO NO NO. End of.

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:23

I'm sat on the sofa in my dressing gown and he just came in and asked if that's what I'm wearing. I swear to god I could tattoo the word NO on my forehead and he'd be so bloody stubborn hed still ignore me

OP posts:
MissusGeneHunt · 24/09/2018 18:24

PLEASE DO NOT GO!!! Yes, said in 'shouty' capitals. F*ck that for a game of soldiers. If he has any worth at all, he would be tucking you up with some painkillers before he goes out (to his own brother's bloody meal) and coming home early to make sure you're OK. SOunds like you've really gone through it, and I hope you get better soon, OP. Flowers

RomanyRoots · 24/09/2018 18:24

Omg, tell him to do one, seriously. What a twat, is he always like this?

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 24/09/2018 18:24

"I am not going. I am not going. I am NOT GOING." Until he fucks off and leaves you in peace.

MemoryOfSleep · 24/09/2018 18:27

Mate, I'd be really contrary, ham it up when there, moan and groan and when they inevitably insist you go home ask your DH openly if that would be alright. Cry if the mood takes you. Make it as awkward for him as humanly possible and drag him away early. He is being ridiculous and should be ashamed of himself. He sounds borderline abusive.

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:27

@RomanyRoots 95% of the time

OP posts:
Sweetpea55 · 24/09/2018 18:27

How are you supposed to eat anything,? Poor you,,you need to be at home. Your DH is a total idiot.

Rebecca36 · 24/09/2018 18:28

You are not being unreasonable, explain to your brother in law by telephone if you can speak, by email if not. No-one will think any the worse of you, you can't help it. Hope you are better soon, you really have my sympathy.

Juells · 24/09/2018 18:29

Take a selfie of your face and send it to everyone at the dinner. Job done.

Losingthewill1 · 24/09/2018 18:30

Why doesn’t he want to go and spend time with HIS family on his own?

Juells · 24/09/2018 18:30

Mate, I'd be really contrary, ham it up when there, moan and groan and when they inevitably insist you go home ask your DH openly if that would be alright. Cry if the mood takes you. Make it as awkward for him as humanly possible and drag him away early. Ha ha I like your style, Memory.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 24/09/2018 18:30

‘No, it’s not what I’m wearing, it’s a figment of your imagination. Idiot’. He’s an uncaring, unloving man. I’d suggest you spend the evening thinking about if you actually still want to be with this monumental tosspot.

DarlingNikita · 24/09/2018 18:31

Good God YANBU. Ignore the idiot.

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:31

I honestly don't know why he won't go by himself.

OP posts:
MortyVicar · 24/09/2018 18:31

we should show face He can take a photo of your face on his phone for everyone to see if that's so important. And hopefully his family will be a little more understanding. In fact if it's THAT important not to have an empty chair, he can stand his phone up in the chair with your face showing. If I were you I think rather than watching soaps you might spend this evening asking yourself if this is a relationship you really want to be in.

EnglishRose13 · 24/09/2018 18:33

Please stick to your guns. You need to rest.

LucieMorningstar · 24/09/2018 18:34

Your husband wants you to show face but your face is ill!!! LTB op!!!

MissyMoooo · 24/09/2018 18:34

No way should you go and he's being a total twat expecting you to!

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:35

He's stomped off and told me to let him know when I've grown up and I'm ready to go. He's going to be waiting a while

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 24/09/2018 18:35

Does he rely on you to make all the conversation with his family like my DH does ?

YouTheCat · 24/09/2018 18:36

So he expects you to go with an infected face but wouldn't make any effort for your family? I'd tell him to fuck right off and be wondering why I'm with such an arse of a man.

jannier · 24/09/2018 18:36

Is he always so controlling? What an arse yet he wont go to your family dinners even if he's well sound more like he thinks you will be inviting someone over while he's out.....you could pin him down pull a few teeth and say now how about going out for a meal? Hope your resting up not doing any housework.